Nixy Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 hi, I'm 20 years old and I've never been asked out before. So here's a little info about me... I'm 1.63m tall, I'm not fat or thin, I'm curvey. I've never been told I look pretty by any guy but I don't consider myself to be ugly. I don't wear make up at all and I'm very independent I don't like relying on other people. When I go out with my best friend I'm never "hit on" or spoken to, she feels sorry for me and ignores them but I feel like I'm depriving her of a little bit of fun so I generally aviod going out. Recently my friends and I made a bet that by the end of the semester I would have a boyfriend, and when I asked what I'm allowed and not allowed to do my friends told me that was not allowed to be myself, which they described as me not being allowed to be disdainful, put-offish, say no immediately, rude or a whole host of other things. Naturally since I've never had a boyfriend I've never been kissed. Its not that I don't like guys, every guy that I liked has never liked me back, I know this because I do "research" before I consider telling him. At the moment there is this one guy that I do like and we do IM each other (about university stuff) but I don't want to tell him because I'm like 90% certain it'll end up like all the other times and since we are doing the same majors at university we work together on some projects and I don't want to tell him, be rejected and and then have awkwardness for the duration of the project. So basically to help myself I've been chanting the mantra that "I function better on my own". So what is wrong with me?? Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Does curvy mean chubby? Because if you are chubbier than your friends, thats one strike against you. If you are only liking white guys, youre going after a niche set of guys that will date seriously outside their race. (depending on geography) If all of your friends are getting approached by guys, and the guys are walking right by you, then you need to look more like them, shape, makeup and all. If you friends tell you that you are rude, putoff ish, disdainful, always say no right away, and cant be yourself, then they are trying to tell you that youre no fun, and no one likes that, including guys. First impression means everything, and if you are always negative, no one will want to date you. Theres a reason these guys arent approaching you, but its too hard to tell when I am not actually there with you and your friends. You might have to start approaching guys. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 It's summer in the northern latitudes. Put on some shorts and show some cleavage. If you're 'curvy', it'll work out. Head up, eyes forward, breasts out, straighten that back. Look at men like you want to devour them and spit out their gizzards, in a pleasurable way 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nixy Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Actually no I'm not chubby. No, I like an Indian. Well we all wear glasses and rock the "geekish" look. I don't wear makeup because I don't wanna damage my skin. Well yes I know I'mquite a bore but that's only because I spend most of my time at campus alone. Yeah, but that's the thing, I'll never approach a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Actually no I'm not chubby. No, I like an Indian. Well we all wear glasses and rock the "geekish" look. I don't wear makeup because I don't wanna damage my skin. Well yes I know I'mquite a bore but that's only because I spend most of my time at campus alone. Yeah, but that's the thing, I'll never approach a guy. So how long are you going to wait before you realize what youre presently doing isnt working and you have to change some things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nixy Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 Its not like I wanna be like this... its just how I've *always* been Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 What's wrong is that you don't want to make the effort to help yourself. Your friends and the above posters have suggested ways to help yourself get asked out by guys. Yeah it's always been you, and you should still be you... but you can be an improved you if you want things to change. If you're okay with the way things are, then no need to improve anything.. but you were the one who asked for help on this. Link to post Share on other sites
baguette Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Learn to wear a small amount of makeup well, start dressing a little more fashionable, and start exercising a little. Should help tons! Link to post Share on other sites
JWRP Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 (edited) The 'geekish' look will find you a husband, but he won't be type to 'hit on' you either, so based on your aims; maybe try dressing 'hip' and showing skin, but you end up with that exact type of male being attracted. When you see the quiet guy that keeps looking away after eye contact approach him and just say 'hi' or smile and keep trying to make eye contact. If you make eye contact with guys on your campus engaged in anything other than drinking you'll find yourself a connection. You'll find the innocence you sound like you desire inside of someone's eyes too. I met my love while she was in sweat pants, slippers, with no make up : ), she'll always be perfect to me no matter how she looks <3 -Jd Edited June 20, 2012 by JWRP Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Its not like I wanna be like this... its just how I've *always* been You can always just add qualities to yourself, so it's not like you gotta trade off your qualities for new ones. So you'll just be Nixy v2.0. Also, as far as my experience goes, as long as you're half decent looking, guys will hit on you. I am not saying you're ugly, but I am sure some guys did hit on you but you just eliminated them as creeps, freaks or whatnot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nixy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I do dress "hip" and believe it or not I do actually show skin. I'm not looking for a potential husband, I don't wanna get married. Your plan is perfect, except when I'm with my friends and guys (who weren't in high school with us) are talking to them it's like I'm not even there, just simply overlooked, and I'm not imaging it, it happens all the time especially when I go out with just my best friend. oh well its one of those I suppose... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nixy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I like the sound of Nixy v2.0 . Nope, never been hit on, like I said completely overlooked. And by your explanation of guys attraction theory, guys find me ugly... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nixy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 To everyone, thanks for the advice, however, I've come to realise that I don't need anybody "special" to be happy and I will not let my happiness depend on anybody but myself. I've chosen not to change *any aspect of myself just to get 5 minutes of some guy's attention. I will rely on myself because then I know for certain that only I have let myself down and nobody else. I know it will sound lame and attention seeking, but ultimately its my choice. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Do what you feel is best for you, as long as you're happy for yourself. And if that's what you feel like doing and would be happy with, nothing wrong with that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Women shouldn't have to wear make up, or dress fashionably to attract men. Dress how you want! Sounds like some aspects of the OP's personality need work on though. Learn to wear a small amount of makeup well, start dressing a little more fashionable, and start exercising a little. Should help tons! Link to post Share on other sites
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