The unknown role the betrayed spouse plays in the"affair"!

[Furious]

Unknown to the betrayed spouse, they play a pivotal role in the "affair" dynamic. The role we are given is of the Villain, and without that ingredient the affair lacks the drama that cheaters are desperate for. Without this, there is nothing to validate the betrayal. This also serves the purpose of allowing the cheaters to be portrayed as the romantic victims. In every "affair" there is this delusional thread that the affair partners are rescuing each other from their tragic loveless lives.

 

In a normal relationship where two single people meet and begin dating, you do not see the elaborate drama and secrecy that excites in an affair, no stolen moments, no desperate texting and sexting, no VILLAIN to keep them apart.

In a normal dating relationship it is just the two of them, in an "affair" there are triangles. Or if both affair partners are married there are 4 in the mix, not excluding the children of course, thus increasing the DRAMA of the affair.

 

Let's not forget the children, because unknown to them they also play a role in the affair. The cheaters never miss the chance to proclaim how much they love their children. It is for the children the affair partners are sacrificing the dream of being with their "soulmate", and cannot divorce the evil spouse.

The affair partners, are so noble, sacrificing their own happiness for the greater good.

 

So the lovers become, us against the world, they can only survive on stolen moments, so these moments are magnified, intensified, the sex becomes desperate, as if there may never be a next time. They rain compliments on each other, they gorge on the awesomeness of each other, they revel in the perfection mirrored in each others eyes. They Lie to everyone...but not Never to each other.

 

The lovers become each others safe haven from the evil Spouse and cruel world as they experiment with sex toys, anal sex, slippery body oil, without need of condoms because if they are in love STD'S do not exist. They are always perfumed, bathed and coiffed. There's wine, love letters, special gifts. It is truly a "Miracle", that they found each other. God did not have the time to save the thousands of starving children that die each day but somehow found the time to bring these "lovers" together.

 

There is also the absence of basic human bodily functions that the affair partners do not possess. They are fartless, never take a **** and never stink up the lovely hotel room, no bad breath, ass streaked underwear, nose picking or flem hacking coughs. When the lovers are together they mystical beings.

And of course there no pesky children to interrupt the precious time they have together. No chores, diapers to change, no bills to sort, dentist and doctors appointments, no car pooling the kids around from their sports activities.

 

For the "affair", it's silk sheets, soft music, candles, platitudes, never ending compliments, as as they construct a sky's the limit pedestal in which to perch themselves on. From high up on this pedestal they gaze down on the world and sigh sadly, that if it were not for the evil spouse they could live happily ever after.

 

 

This grand "love"' they share is precious and fragile. It's survival can only be guaranteed by only a few key factors:

Deception

Secrecy

Greed

 

And of course.....Non-discovery by the evil spouse

(or those pesky children they claim to love)

[ISurvived]

Unknown to the betrayed spouse, they play a pivotal role in the "affair" dynamic. The role we are given is of the Villain, and without that ingredient the affair lacks the drama that cheaters are desperate for. Without this, there is nothing to validate the betrayal. This also serves the purpose of allowing the cheaters to be portrayed as the romantic victims. In every "affair" there is this delusional thread that the affair partners are rescuing each other from their tragic loveless lives.

 

In a normal relationship where two single people meet and begin dating, you do not see the elaborate drama and secrecy that excites in an affair, no stolen moments, no desperate texting and sexting, no VILLAIN to keep them apart.

In a normal dating relationship it is just the two of them, in an "affair" there are triangles. Or if both affair partners are married there are 4 in the mix, not excluding the children of course, thus increasing the DRAMA of the affair.

 

Let's not forget the children, because unknown to them they also play a role in the affair. The cheaters never miss the chance to proclaim how much they love their children. It is for the children the affair partners are sacrificing the dream of being with their "soulmate", and cannot divorce the evil spouse.

The affair partners, are so noble, sacrificing their own happiness for the greater good.

 

So the lovers become, us against the world, they can only survive on stolen moments, so these moments are magnified, intensified, the sex becomes desperate, as if there may never be a next time. They rain compliments on each other, they gorge on the awesomeness of each other, they revel in the perfection mirrored in each others eyes. They Lie to everyone...but not Never to each other.

 

The lovers become each others safe haven from the evil Spouse and cruel world as they experiment with sex toys, anal sex, slippery body oil, without need of condoms because if they are in love STD'S do not exist. They are always perfumed, bathed and coiffed. There's wine, love letters, special gifts. It is truly a "Miracle", that they found each other. God did not have the time to save the thousands of starving children that die each day but somehow found the time to bring these "lovers" together.

 

There is also the absence of basic human bodily functions that the affair partners do not possess. They are fartless, never take a **** and never stink up the lovely hotel room, no bad breath, ass streaked underwear, nose picking or flem hacking coughs. When the lovers are together they mystical beings.

And of course there no pesky children to interrupt the precious time they have together. No chores, diapers to change, no bills to sort, dentist and doctors appointments, no car pooling the kids around from their sports activities.

 

For the "affair", it's silk sheets, soft music, candles, platitudes, never ending compliments, as as they construct a sky's the limit pedestal in which to perch themselves on. From high up on this pedestal they gaze down on the world and sigh sadly, that if it were not for the evil spouse they could live happily ever after.

 

 

This grand "love"' they share is precious and fragile. It's survival can only be guaranteed by only a few key factors:

Deception

Secrecy

Greed

 

And of course.....Non-discovery by the evil spouse

(or those pesky children they claim to love)

 

Bravo, Bravo!!!!

 

One of the best posts I have read in a long time!!

[MoneyWorld]

I don't think it can be quite so black and white.

 

For the most part, all of my family and my affair partner's (now wife) family knew about it, and had even met on multiple occasions (I had met pretty much everyone in her family, she had met pretty much everyone mine). They all knew exactly what was going on, and while some didn't agree with it, the vast majority understood why it was happening. We also had many friends that were in the know as well.

 

With my ex, both her and I were the villain. I was completely destructive to her and she equally destructive to me (long before the affair). My wife's ex was by all means the villain. He was physically and mentally abusive to her for a long period of time, she just never had the guts to get out of the relationship and was worried about what would happen to her if she did. If a man beats his wife and she ends up having an affair on him, I don't think it's very fair to treat him like he's the one that's hard done by. She may have betrayed him by getting into a relationship with me, but he betrayed her long before I came along when he started punching her in the face and slamming her against walls.

 

Our relationship didn't start out so much as a rainbows and butterflies and nobody ever farts or burps, as it started out being a safe partner to go to, where there wasn't judgement or violence or destructive criticism. Where we each knew that we were individually f'ed up, but together we could somehow work to fix ourselves and each other. Where we could each lay our souls bare to one another and divulge the secrets of our current relationships that others had no idea about or could only guess at.

 

It worked out pretty good for us, coming up to 20 years together and the brokenness of both of us fixed. I'm certainly under no delusions and I'm not saying our situation is normal, but I'm also very much against painting affair situations with a single color.

[Ninja'sHusband]

I don't think it can be quite so black and white.

 

For the most part, all of my family and my affair partner's (now wife) family knew about it, and had even met on multiple occasions (I had met pretty much everyone in her family, she had met pretty much everyone mine). They all knew exactly what was going on, and while some didn't agree with it, the vast majority understood why it was happening. We also had many friends that were in the know as well.

 

With my ex, both her and I were the villain. I was completely destructive to her and she equally destructive to me (long before the affair). My wife's ex was by all means the villain. He was physically and mentally abusive to her for a long period of time, she just never had the guts to get out of the relationship and was worried about what would happen to her if she did. If a man beats his wife and she ends up having an affair on him, I don't think it's very fair to treat him like he's the one that's hard done by. She may have betrayed him by getting into a relationship with me, but he betrayed her long before I came along when he started punching her in the face and slamming her against walls.

 

Our relationship didn't start out so much as a rainbows and butterflies and nobody ever farts or burps, as it started out being a safe partner to go to, where there wasn't judgement or violence or destructive criticism. Where we each knew that we were individually f'ed up, but together we could somehow work to fix ourselves and each other. Where we could each lay our souls bare to one another and divulge the secrets of our current relationships that others had no idea about or could only guess at.

 

It worked out pretty good for us, coming up to 20 years together and the brokenness of both of us fixed. I'm certainly under no delusions and I'm not saying our situation is normal, but I'm also very much against painting affair situations with a single color.

 

 

If both of your spouses were so bad you should have left them before starting an affair. I do agree the case above doesn't represent all As..it's the extreme case. My WW and her OMM didn't consider each other soulmates...but it's still pretty unfair to compare their fake relationship to my WW and mine. One of the things that really eats me up is how she told me he was very empathetic (and I wasn't). Yeah when you are telling lies about how horrible your H is to a horny guy that want in your pants..he'll probably be reaaalll empathetic. What about when they enter a real relationship..and she has complaints against him, how empathetic will he be then?

[Spark1111]

I don't think it can be quite so black and white.

 

For the most part, all of my family and my affair partner's (now wife) family knew about it, and had even met on multiple occasions (I had met pretty much everyone in her family, she had met pretty much everyone mine). They all knew exactly what was going on, and while some didn't agree with it, the vast majority understood why it was happening. We also had many friends that were in the know as well.

 

With my ex, both her and I were the villain. I was completely destructive to her and she equally destructive to me (long before the affair). My wife's ex was by all means the villain. He was physically and mentally abusive to her for a long period of time, she just never had the guts to get out of the relationship and was worried about what would happen to her if she did. If a man beats his wife and she ends up having an affair on him, I don't think it's very fair to treat him like he's the one that's hard done by. She may have betrayed him by getting into a relationship with me, but he betrayed her long before I came along when he started punching her in the face and slamming her against walls.

 

Our relationship didn't start out so much as a rainbows and butterflies and nobody ever farts or burps, as it started out being a safe partner to go to, where there wasn't judgement or violence or destructive criticism. Where we each knew that we were individually f'ed up, but together we could somehow work to fix ourselves and each other. Where we could each lay our souls bare to one another and divulge the secrets of our current relationships that others had no idea about or could only guess at.

 

It worked out pretty good for us, coming up to 20 years together and the brokenness of both of us fixed. I'm certainly under no delusions and I'm not saying our situation is normal, but I'm also very much against painting affair situations with a single color.

 

Twenty years together? Met family and friends fairly quickly?

 

Your relationship is the very rare exit affair, estimated to be be three out of 100. Congratulations!

 

The OP is speaking, very eloquently, about the other 97%.

[Steen719]

In order to convince my XH's love interest (AP/OW), he lied to her about me about a lot of things. For example, he told her that I screamed at him in front of the medical staff during his long illness/hospitalizations/transplant. This is something that I NEVER did. She told me this and I asked him and he verified. Stupid, as of course, I knew I had not done that. I mean, really, how could lie about something like that...the person who took care of you...just to impress upon your AP that you are so in need of their attention and love? UGH That says volumes about his character and it left me wondering who the h*ll I had been living with. Holy crap...who could lie about that...thinking of how I lovingly cared for him and tried my best to keep him alive fills me with anger and pain when I realize he lied to make her feel sorry for him. Sheesh

 

He repeatedly told her that he wished he had stayed with her 30+ years ago, how beautiful she was, how they would have had beautiful children, how he admired her...ad nauseum. He thought that they would have been PERFECT together.

 

She decided she would stay with her H, so they are not off being perfect together. Sadly, for his next woman (who he is already with), she will be the one he still could not have, so perfection will not be in his future.

 

You know, you can justify these damn affairs until the cows come home. For those of you who have had affairs and feel justified in what you did, well good for you. Maybe you should be praying that someone doesn't do the same to you. If you are able to rationalize to yourself that what you did was justified, I believe that also says volumes about you that you didn't take care of the problems before you went off with another.

 

Sorry....today, I really resent the fact that his choices were what they were and while I am still hurting he is not.

[MoneyWorld]

If both of your spouses were so bad you should have left them before starting an affair. I do agree the case above doesn't represent all As..it's the extreme case. My WW and her OMM didn't consider each other soulmates...but it's still pretty unfair to compare their fake relationship to my WW and mine. One of the things that really eats me up is how she told me he was very empathetic (and I wasn't). Yeah when you are telling lies about how horrible your H is to a horny guy that want in your pants..he'll probably be reaaalll empathetic. What about when they enter a real relationship..and she has complaints against him' date=' how empathetic will he be then?[/quote']

 

In a perfect world, I agree, we should have both left our existing relationships. Unfortunately neither one of us were strong enough to do so without having the crutch of each other to help us. Right or wrong, sometimes a person needs a helping hand to get out of a relationship. Sometimes that's family, sometimes it's friends, sometimes it's counseling. Neither one of us had those things to fall back on at the time, so should I have continued my 4 year marriage and all the hurt and damage we caused to each other, and should my wife have continued her 5 year marriage and all the physical and emotional abuse he leveled on her, just to be faithful?

 

I guess I just have a jaded view on affairs because mine turned out to be the one in one hundred (or three in one hundred) that turned out well. At the end of the day I'd do it again, because a three in one hundred chance of finding happiness is better than a zero in one hundred chance of it, which is where we were both at if we stayed in bad / abusive marriages.

[maybealone]

She may have betrayed him by getting into a relationship with me, but he betrayed her long before I came along when he started punching her in the face and slamming her against walls.

 

I do not agree with cheating, but one thing about LS that bothers me is how the "forsaking all others" part of the marriage vows seems to be the only one that counts with a lot of people. There are a lot more to those vows and a whole lot more ways to betray a spouse than by having sex with another person.

 

Yes, spouses should divorce before being with anyone else. They also should divorce before verbally or physically abusing their spouse, or before unilaterally deciding to have a sexless marriage, or before deciding to neglect their spouses on a daily basis.

 

All somewhat equal in my book.

[Furious]

What I still cannot wrap my head around is I gave him my blessing to leave and live happily ever after with his "soulmate", but instead he is begging to reconcile. I will not stand in the way of true love, I even offered to pay for the wedding. Somehow he now see's it was me whom he always loved.

 

Go figure?

[StoneCold]

I do not agree with cheating, but one thing about LS that bothers me is how the "forsaking all others" part of the marriage vows seems to be the only one that counts with a lot of people. There are a lot more to those vows and a whole lot more ways to betray a spouse than by having sex with another person.

 

Yes, spouses should divorce before being with anyone else. They also should divorce before verbally or physically abusing their spouse, or before unilaterally deciding to have a sexless marriage, or before deciding to neglect their spouses on a daily basis.

 

All somewhat equal in my book.

 

Precisely...

 

I just find it funny how many here the WS puts the blame elsewhere....perhaps they do but what kills me is these poeple whining about them are really no different

[Spark1111]

What I still cannot wrap my head around is I gave him my blessing to leave and live happily ever after with his "soulmate", but instead he is begging to reconcile. I will not stand in the way of true love, I even offered to pay for the wedding. Somehow he now see's it was me whom he always loved.

 

Go figure?

 

Not uncommon. I lived that very confusing scenario too. I also told him to go get her and was stunned that it appeared to be the very last thing he wanted.

 

Hang in there. Keep reading and welcome to LS.

 

Do you still love him?

 

After I wrapped my head around the deception, the lying, the sneaking around like 17 year old, what hurt the most was how maligned I was: The Villian!

 

The devil horns had to sit on my head, and her xH after a bitter divorce, so the halo could sit on her's.

 

Your post captured the triangulated relationship projection beautifully.

[Furious]

Do I still love him?

 

Right now, I cannot answer that. I'm still reeling from the shock.

I discovered the affair by pure accident.

All I know, is if I did not find out, he would never have come clean.

That fact alone kills me more than the actual affair.

[whichwayisup]

What I still cannot wrap my head around is I gave him my blessing to leave and live happily ever after with his "soulmate", but instead he is begging to reconcile. I will not stand in the way of true love, I even offered to pay for the wedding. Somehow he now see's it was me whom he always loved.

 

Go figure?

 

This is usually the case. BS throws CS out, then the light bulb goes off, they wake up and realize that eventually that affair partner will become a regular partner by starting over in a regular relationship, and the glitter, fun and as you put it so well (OMG, I laughed so hard, so true!) this: They are fartless, never take a **** and never stink up the lovely hotel room, no bad breath, ass streaked underwear, nose picking or flem hacking coughs. When the lovers are together they mystical beings , will turn into reality once AP's end up together.. All the great good stuff, no bad breath, puking, or other illnesses, disappears and real life sets in.

[Furious]

Precisely...

 

I just find it funny how many here the WS puts the blame elsewhere....perhaps they do but what kills me is these poeple whining about them are really no different

 

The true whiners are the cowards who don't just come clean, instead they whine in a passive aggressive attitude. Why waste your time cheating around when you can share your fabulous self with whom ever you choose to have awesome sex with.

[Furious]

In a perfect world, I agree, we should have both left our existing relationships. Unfortunately neither one of us were strong enough to do so without having the crutch of each other to help us. Right or wrong, sometimes a person needs a helping hand to get out of a relationship. Sometimes that's family, sometimes it's friends, sometimes it's counseling. Neither one of us had those things to fall back on at the time, so should I have continued my 4 year marriage and all the hurt and damage we caused to each other, and should my wife have continued her 5 year marriage and all the physical and emotional abuse he leveled on her, just to be faithful?

 

I guess I just have a jaded view on affairs because mine turned out to be the one in one hundred (or three in one hundred) that turned out well. At the end of the day I'd do it again, because a three in one hundred chance of finding happiness is better than a zero in one hundred chance of it, which is where we were both at if we stayed in bad / abusive marriages.

 

 

 

 

 

I am truly happy for the both of you.

[freestyle]

Do I still love him?

 

Right now, I cannot answer that. I'm still reeling from the shock.

I discovered the affair by pure accident.

All I know, is if I did not find out, he would never have come clean.

That fact alone kills me more than the actual affair.

 

 

That's actually a normal feeling, Furious.

For those of us who have been betrayed, it's the deception that stings the most..Knowing that someone was smiling to our face, pretending things were okay, when they weren't.

 

....Or starting fights with us, to "paint us black" and thereby rationalize/justify their dishonest actions.

 

When it comes out of the blue--with no warning, it's like being sucker-punched.Finding out that the one person you thought you could count on to "have your back'....was instead, maneuvering BEHIND your back.

 

If you're still in the stages of initial shock, from what I've read---it's best not to make any instant life-altering decisions as a knee-jerk response.

(tempting as it may be) Take extra good care of yourself right now, so you can make a clear-headed decision about which step to take next.

[Spark1111]

Do I still love him?

 

Right now, I cannot answer that. I'm still reeling from the shock.

I discovered the affair by pure accident.

All I know, is if I did not find out, he would never have come clean.

That fact alone kills me more than the actual affair.

 

yes, I also discovered the affair by accident and that text is forever burned into my brain.

 

My young adult daughter is convinced he wanted to get caught, because passively-agressive, he did not know how to end it with her. She was starting to make demands for a more legitimate relationship. He did not want that.

 

He wanted us both. So, I guess it was effective because I blew a hole in his (and her) world. I threw him out, wished them well, and prepared for a future without him.

[Furious]

yes, I also discovered the affair by accident and that text is forever burned into my brain.

 

My young adult daughter is convinced he wanted to get caught, because passively-agressive, he did not know how to end it with her. She was starting to make demands for a more legitimate relationship. He did not want that.

 

He wanted us both. So, I guess it was effective because I blew a hole in his (and her) world. I threw him out, wished them well, and prepared for a future without him.

 

 

 

 

Oh...my husband never imagined he'd get caught.

Sometimes I wish I never knew.

I'm ok with the me that knows now, it's the me that did not know I feel sorry for, and yes I've had a few pity parties for the old me.

But I am really liking the new me too, I had no idea I could kick some serious ass, i feel like the girl with dragon tattoo, (san's the tattoo)

[StoneCold]

The true whiners are the cowards who don't just come clean, instead they whine in a passive aggressive attitude. Why waste your time cheating around when you can share your fabulous self with whom ever you choose to have awesome sex with.

 

mmm hmmm......

[Steen719]

Precisely...

 

I just find it funny how many here the WS puts the blame elsewhere....perhaps they do but what kills me is these poeple whining about them are really no different

 

What you call whining, at least for me, is the pain I feel. If you think that is whining, then that is what you think. I have never said that I had no part of the problems in my marriage. Just as I was not perfect, neither was my XH. I accepted him for what he was, farts and all. Believe me, when you care for someone who is very ill, you get to know them; good and bad. It was his decision to cheat. I believe that to be about him, not our marriage or me. How I handled it says more about me (and I have admitted that I did not act as I wish I had...now). Do I wish I had done things differently in my marriage? Yes, a resounding yes, as I imagine most (or all) people on this site do. I have never placed all of the blame on him for our problems. When someone expresses themselves and others discount it, it does not mean the expressions are worthless (or whining, for that matter).

[Furious]

Thank you.

[StoneCold]

When someone expresses themselves and others discount it, it does not mean the expressions are worthless (or whining, for that matter).

 

lol.... funny you say this..........................

[kevinm1019]

Unknown to the betrayed spouse, they play a pivotal role in the "affair" dynamic. The role we are given is of the Villain, and without that ingredient the affair lacks the drama that cheaters are desperate for. Without this, there is nothing to validate the betrayal. This also serves the purpose of allowing the cheaters to be portrayed as the romantic victims. In every "affair" there is this delusional thread that the affair partners are rescuing each other from their tragic loveless lives.

 

In a normal relationship where two single people meet and begin dating, you do not see the elaborate drama and secrecy that excites in an affair, no stolen moments, no desperate texting and sexting, no VILLAIN to keep them apart.

In a normal dating relationship it is just the two of them, in an "affair" there are triangles. Or if both affair partners are married there are 4 in the mix, not excluding the children of course, thus increasing the DRAMA of the affair.

 

Let's not forget the children, because unknown to them they also play a role in the affair. The cheaters never miss the chance to proclaim how much they love their children. It is for the children the affair partners are sacrificing the dream of being with their "soulmate", and cannot divorce the evil spouse.

The affair partners, are so noble, sacrificing their own happiness for the greater good.

 

So the lovers become, us against the world, they can only survive on stolen moments, so these moments are magnified, intensified, the sex becomes desperate, as if there may never be a next time. They rain compliments on each other, they gorge on the awesomeness of each other, they revel in the perfection mirrored in each others eyes. They Lie to everyone...but not Never to each other.

 

The lovers become each others safe haven from the evil Spouse and cruel world as they experiment with sex toys, anal sex, slippery body oil, without need of condoms because if they are in love STD'S do not exist. They are always perfumed, bathed and coiffed. There's wine, love letters, special gifts. It is truly a "Miracle", that they found each other. God did not have the time to save the thousands of starving children that die each day but somehow found the time to bring these "lovers" together.

 

There is also the absence of basic human bodily functions that the affair partners do not possess. They are fartless, never take a **** and never stink up the lovely hotel room, no bad breath, ass streaked underwear, nose picking or flem hacking coughs. When the lovers are together they mystical beings.

And of course there no pesky children to interrupt the precious time they have together. No chores, diapers to change, no bills to sort, dentist and doctors appointments, no car pooling the kids around from their sports activities.

 

For the "affair", it's silk sheets, soft music, candles, platitudes, never ending compliments, as as they construct a sky's the limit pedestal in which to perch themselves on. From high up on this pedestal they gaze down on the world and sigh sadly, that if it were not for the evil spouse they could live happily ever after.

 

 

This grand "love"' they share is precious and fragile. It's survival can only be guaranteed by only a few key factors:

Deception

Secrecy

Greed

 

And of course.....Non-discovery by the evil spouse

(or those pesky children they claim to love)

The truth of the matter is this... no matter what the WS may say about the BS... he or she makes a choice... and as someone indicated in this thread... if things were "that bad"... why would they remain... why would they stay... because there are people out there who can "supposedly" treat them better... but they CHOOSE to have an affair. The bottom line is people who participate in affairs demonstrate selfish and self serving goals in order to not face the reality of his or her relationship... or their part in the decline of that relationship. When people choose to commit to an action... communicate... or interact with a person of the opposite sex in a suggestive, hinting or intimate manner... on ANY scale... that person hopes to encourage an intimate or sexual response from the person they are targeting.

[Steen719]

lol.... funny you say this..........................

 

Yeah, a laugh a minute!

[Furious]

My husband met his "soulmate", 2 years ago, in a bar while his was out of town on a business trip. They struck up a conversation and within a couple of hours they ended up in his hotel room. When a woman tells you how handsome you are and then whispers in your ear that she's not wearing underwear, how can you not fall instantly in love.

How do I know this? Well this bit of info took a few months to finally surface, through an enormous amount of TT to sort through.

 

WTF.....my husband's soulmate doesn't wear underwear..... Well that explains how suddenly I suddenly became the evil wife. And for the last two years he pushed my buttons to make damn sure his theory was spot on.

Looking back I see the arguments he would start just before his business trips.

I now see the pattern, I now see why whenever there was some famous man getting busted for cheating he would rip into what a POS's they are.

 

In the last two years he has either been short tempered,absent, or extremely loving and attentive.

 

So for the last couple of years I've been eating a **** sandwich, while WS has been dining out at the EGO BUFFET.

 

Mad...furious...I decided to check out the menu at the ego buffet. I put on my high heels, my favorite little black dress, got me one of those push up bras, I passed on the no underwear, but made do with barely there thong. Out the door I went on a "soulmate" fishing trip at a fine bar in the city.

 

Within a few hours I had a bucket full of potential soul mates, flirt, smile, compliment, let them know how handsome you think they are. This soulmate expedition, was just to easy, not like the rare miracle my WS was convinced of when he found his "soulmate". I had three phone numbers in my bag by the time I got home. That night I tore up those numbers, threw up in the toilet and told my husband what an utter idiot he was. Heck, I told him that I should probably start carrying condoms with me at all times just in case I get compliment....wait, oh yeah,,,WS spouse stopped using condom's with his soulmate after about the third time they were together and love was confirmed.

 

Funny how before the affair he admits he was happy,....then ping!!!!, the MOW comes along and he ain't so happy.