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Need your so badly because boyfriend behaving badly

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Old 14th December 2011, 10:23 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
Need your so badly because boyfriend behaving badly

Hi all,

I returned to this forum because I've been having some issues with my current boyfriend.
We've been togetehr for 8 years now and for the past 3-4 montsh he's acting very strange like anything I say and do is wrong and bad.
All this happened after he started going to some AA meetings and in my opionion those meetings are a brainwashing thing.
The main problem is that everything I say he takes it negativily, like is I state my opinion about something and is not like his, he believes I do it just to argue and kick him in his teeth.I explained to him hundrets of times that it's not like, I just have a different opinion and I'm allowed so.
Yesteday all day we texted each other nicely, having fun and also he told me a few times that he was going to go to see his father in the hospital, even called me to tell me that. Then when he came home from visiting his father, as soona s he walked in he said :"my father is in the hospital". Then I said:, you already told me that". I said that becaus emany times he forgets what he tells me during the day. After I said that, he got very upset saying again that I kicked him in his teeth. Even I asked about his father he still didn't want to give me more details about him. He believes that when he said "my father is in the hospital" was like an open comment to a discussion. To me it wasn't or it wasn't necessary. He keeps saying that I have problems communicating with people. Well no one ever said to me anything like and I even work with the public.
So what do you guys think about this?
For years he's been verbaly abusing me calling me names , yelling and getting angry at me for similar reasons, especially when I didn't agrre with him. He even gets upset at drivers when they don't use the blicker or make minor "traffic mistakes" like that.
I am very depressed and stressed out.
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Old 14th December 2011, 12:45 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: MA
Posts: 1,480
Domestic violence - and that is what you're going through even if it is only verbal abuse - is no small thing to solve.

Your boyfriend seems like a very angry person. That might only escalate and could one day put you in a tough situation where it may turn from verbal to physical abuse.

Right now, I would validate his feelings. Let him know that you understand that he feels as though you're bad at communicating, but want to work with him to make things better. If he starts an argument over your telling him that, you need to ask yourself whether or not what you have is salvageable or if you should get out of an abusive situation.
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Old 14th December 2011, 1:43 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
See, I've been trying to make things better for a few years now, but it didn't get anywhere. I have told him 100's of times that my intenstions are positive, but he doesn't understand that. He continues to be angry.
Manytimes I just shut up just to avoid any argument. But then we are fine for 3 days and again some other conversation comes up and he gets angry again claiming that I treat him badly. This "bad treatment" is usually me having a different opinion about life, medicine etc. To me is justa discussion and I believe I have the right to have my own opinion. But he says I argue and treat him badly.
Another exemple: he was trying to show me a you tube video on my laptop, but he couldn't get my touchpad to work well, maybe because it was dirty or or too dark too see it. Then I said "let me do it". Man, he got so angry, he said I though he was stupid and again I didn't know "how to communicate".
Even if I explained to him why I said that, he left quickly and went upstairs and din't talk to me for days.
There was a time when I was afraid to say anything to him so he doesn't get angry, but this is not the right thing to do. I want to be myself.
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