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Drinking? Partying? Clubbing? WHY???


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This is all stemming from a relationship i cannot seem to have... Pleas just listen to me.. and offer me some comfort/advice?

 

Why do people have to drink and/or party to have fun? I dont get it. As you can tell, by me asking in this post, that I have recently had a problem with it. I just dont know why.

 

Its more of a relationship type issue. I just dont see why you need to go to a bar, or a club to have fun. Call me old fashion... or is that considered old fashion. I want to go out with people, you know.. get off of this computer every once in a while.. but it seems like anyone i want to hang out with wants to drink, or party, or go clubbin.. and thats just not me. I would consider going to a Movie, having dinner... the more.. calmer stuff.. as a good time.

 

But it seems like everyone i meet... is into drinking. Im not sure if its a maturity thing or what. And i have a hard time looking past it.

 

Not to mention all of the friends i have that i just dont understand why they go and party... or club.. to me its like.. come on.. this is what you do for fun???

 

 

What do you think? What is it you do for fun?

 

To those who drink.. no offense to you.. .but moreso.. why do you drink/party?

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it's just a matter of character. some prefer dinner, movies, quiet hang-outs; some prefer bars, clubs, loud fun; some prefer a lil bit of both (me!). it's true that when people get older, they seem to enjoy the quieter fun more, but i don't think it's maturity, it's just age.

 

asking about it is pointless. it's like you like basketball and your friend likes hockey and you ask him WHYYY do you like hockey and not basketbal?! - just cuz!

 

as long as you've got people with whom you can have YOUR kind of fun, you're fine, right?

 

-yes

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Maybe it's lack of imagination. I have always hated smoke and therefore avoided clubs. I've had plenty of fun in my life and very little of it involved drinking. Most of it involved dining, travelling, and/or dancing - not to mention great conversation. You can also go new places and do new things like music festivals or other local events.

 

To this day I hardly ever drink - even when I have it at home, and I have plenty of fun.

In fact, I'm a ballroom dancer; most ballroom dances don't even have bars and the few that do do very little business because you can't navigate well with booze in you - and we still have a terrific time.

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I guess it depends on the place and what else they have to offer besides booze. After all, even a lot of places that bill themselves as restaurants do have bars inside.

 

There are a number of places around here - some bars, some bar/restaurants, that have "Quizzo" nights once or twice a week, if you know what that is. (I only have a vague idea, having never been to one myself, but plan on going after the holidays.) These nights attract both the drinkers and non-drinkers among my friends and acquaintances.

 

I don't really have an answer to your other question other than: I drink because White Russians are tasty!

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I agree with Moimeme it could be lack of imagination. Or it could be that there is not that may places to go where you live. Maybe everybody doesn't have that much money to go to those sort of places as well.

 

With my close group of girl friends we barely go out any more. It's like once in a blue moon. Two of them have kids as well so it's hard for them to get babysitters.

 

That pretty much sux since I am still single!

 

I don't drink all that often. Probably every couple of weeks. Only when I go out, at a party or with a group of people. I guess alcohol relaxes you in a way.

 

I'm glad I did make a new girl friend this year who likes going out at night but. :) .

 

Plus I've got Sydney to go to where I can hang out with my guy friends. In the city there is always stuff to do there! Especially the main city in Australia. :D .

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I'm not much into those things either and don't drink. It's just personal choice, and your personality. There are others like you out there.

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Originally posted by Thinkalot

I'm not much into those things either and don't drink. It's just personal choice, and your personality. There are others like you out there.

 

Im glad im not the only one... But where do I find someone thats like me?

 

It seems that everyone I like are the type that do this sort of stuff... and then it ends up, I can only be friends with them. Not a problem. But i really like them and want to get more out of a friendship.

 

But what about the ones that are civil, and party at the same time? Its like day and night... literally... Do you think they would respect the fact that I dont do that... Because i dont think they are worth it if they dont; Because at the same time I would respect that they party at night... as long as we could keep a civil relationship. But it just seems like (this person this whole thing is about) wants someone who is of that nature... Who claims that guys are stupid, but is frantically looking for a relationship it seems...

 

I dont know.. I just hate the fact that because I am not one who parties or drinks.. I cant hang out with the people i like... per my own choice....

 

 

Im Confused. Lost. Feel Worthless...

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waitingfordecember

People are different. Some like oranges, others like apples. No harm done in it.

 

I like drinking. I like clubs. I like pubs. But just some of the time. I certainly don't regard these pastimes as the only means of having fun.

 

My main idea of a good time is almost like yours THETQ - maybe a movie, a trip to a museum or something of a calmer nature. Anything that revolves around conversation is good for me. Most of my fantastic memories don't involve drinking at all.

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i don't party anymore - i think anyone over the age of 25 at clubs just looks ridiculous - but i have to say i had some of the best times of my life at clubs/diners/raves/etc.

 

i love calmer activities too - i keep suggesting the educational date to anyone who wanders by - but going out dancing or raving is such an amazing experience. you don't have to drink lots - i could never afford more than two drinks over a 7 hour period - but the spirit and the aesthetic of those places is just so vivid and so much a part of the generation's culture.

 

but this is not a recommendation - it's not for everyone, and staying up so much is unhealthy. plus, the people there do drink, and sometimes use, so have to keep yourself safe and amused.

 

what you are doing now sounds terrific - keep it up! but, a word to the wise, if you are the type who does not drink or use, do not ask these kind of questions around those who do - there is no faster way to brand yourself as lame, if you care about that kind of stuff. <i know this because i was lame, inexperienced and judgemental for a good three years around them :)>

 

our new rule is: live your life like an after-school special. just don't proselytize like one.

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I started clubbing while underage. Our legal drinking/clubbing age is 18 in Australia.

 

I started when I was 14 and I stopped clubbing regulaly when I turned 18. I am now 21 and have been clubbing no more times than you can count on one hand.

 

I enjoy sitting at home with my partner enjoying one or two drinks. Sure I have been out with work mates, drunk lots and partied hard but that isn't my life.

 

I only went clubbing to dance, even now. If I wanted to get hit on I would of gone to a desperate and dateless ball. If there is no music, then it is only about spending time with my friends and I am there simply because they are.

 

One day people will grow up and let go of their 'stupid youth' (not their youth as we all keep that :p)

 

Give me a bottle of wine, nice dinner, my partner, and our home any night over a loud, drunken club.

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but i don't think it's maturity, it's just age.

 

Gotta disagree with ya there Yes. I'm 17 and I find the whole clubbing/drinking thing to be stupid and pointless, its just not my scene. But I do love loud fun, I go to punk shows almost every weekend. :D

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To be honest, I'm both a drinker and partier and I resent the fact that people claim it's a sign of immaturity. I don't know why I find it appealing, it's a way to let your hair down after study and work and not to have to think really. It's arguable that the drinking part isn't so great, especially if it's frequent, but going out clubbing and sitting around in pubs are synonymous with drinking in the place which I live and with the people I'm friends with.

 

I go out to eat with my friends, go to the cinema etc, but admittedly it usually turns into a bottle of wine with dinner or a swift one down the pub after the film. Social occasions and alcohol seem to be inseperable to many people, but I know a LOT of people who go out clubbing who won't touch alcohol and a lot of people who prefer to stay at home and also have a long-standing love affair with alcohol.

 

I'm getting off the point here, there are many different people out there with different attitudes to "fun". I just think you aren't meeting the right people - and I'm not suggesting you actively search for them, just pro-actively put yourself in situations where you will meet these people for whom you're searching!

 

Good luck and I'm sorry I actually wasn't much help at all :) Just felt like rambling on...

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I'm not suggesting you actively search for them, just pro-actively put yourself in situations where you will meet these people for whom you're searching!

 

what do you mean by that?

 

And as far as you just rambling on... hey anything helps... its just what i am doing it seems... just rambling on... but it helps to have people who will acknowledge you... and offer some advice up

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Originally posted by THETQ

 

 

what do you mean by that?

 

I'm not saying that you do go to bars and clubs, because you've stated that you don't enjoy it. But obviously you're meeting people for whom this is their weekend/evening activity of choice. It's not simply because all young people (and I'm not sure of your age but I'm assuming you're young) do exactly the same things, it's because (I could be wrong here) the majority do...and as someone a bit older might have to look around for someone who would go to that illegal rave with them, you might have to look around a bit for young people who enjoy the same things you do. I don't know what you do for hobbies - but you said you enjoy the cinema so perhaps if you have an arthouse cinema close-by you could join a group at that. There are so many options depending on what your interests are - book clubs, exercise classes, sports teams, art classes...everything! And if you can't find a club you enjoy then advertise in the local college/shop window/church bulletin board for like-minded people who might want to start up a cheese-appreciation society (just an example, haha!). There's always what was my first thought though - a lot of these people you think only enjoy clubbing, pubbing, drinking and dancing might be interested in books, theatre, restaurants and films, but you just don't know that because you dismiss them all as like-minded when you see them heading out in their heels and miniskirts! I don't know about everyone, but whilst I enjoy partying as much as the next teenager, I spend a lot of my time reading, watching movies, visiting museums as well. Some of us do have hidden depths you know :) I'm not trying to be snide or anything, I just think a lot of people are getting tarred with the same brush here and I'm one of them!

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Originally posted by bridget

(and I'm not sure of your age but I'm assuming you're young)

 

18

 

a lot of these people you think only enjoy clubbing, pubbing, drinking and dancing might be interested in books, theatre, restaurants and films, but you just don't know that because you dismiss them all as like-minded when you see them heading out in their heels and miniskirts! I don't know about everyone, but whilst I enjoy partying as much as the next teenager, I spend a lot of my time reading, watching movies, visiting museums as well. Some of us do have hidden depths you know :) I'm not trying to be snide or anything, I just think a lot of people are getting tarred with the same brush here and I'm one of them!

 

Well, I know that a lot of them and [the one this whole question is about] Do like other things than partyin... and like movies and etc...

 

Snide? I wouldnt see you as being snide even if you were, im here looking for answers... and that may just be what i need. As far as tarring with the same brush... Im not sure what you meant by that... but I am guessing that you mean that I see all partiers... as the hard-core jackasses... to put it bluntly... Thats not true... but i see the partying as something senseless to me...

 

Like i said, I want to like someone for who they are... not what they do... but its hard for me to see who they are when they are partying and drinking... because are they who they are, while under the influence... no. Its the 'wannabe' factor that gets to me... Because i think they have to go to clubs where they 'get noticed' to feel good about themselves...

 

again... i think im talking in circles again.. but maybe someone can help me...

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  • 2 weeks later...
Originally posted by moimeme

Maybe it's lack of imagination. I have always hated smoke and therefore avoided clubs. I've had plenty of fun in my life and very little of it involved drinking. Most of it involved dining, travelling, and/or dancing - not to mention great conversation. You can also go new places and do new things like music festivals or other local events.

 

To this day I hardly ever drink - even when I have it at home, and I have plenty of fun.

In fact, I'm a ballroom dancer; most ballroom dances don't even have bars and the few that do do very little business because you can't navigate well with booze in you - and we still have a terrific time.

 

Lack of imagination? While the rest of us are getting trashed and trying to mingle and be social (which is what the drinking is for to answer your previous question) you can use your superior imagination to take you to a pretend place where music festivals are the choice social atmosphere of "anyone who's anyone".

 

Drinking relaxes people. It brings down walls. Allows people to level with one another and communicate on a basic level (even though the communcation may be slurred).

 

While you won't as often find intellectual conversations in these social situations, that's okay. It's time to put the work week behind them and forget about the daily stresses of life and just get crunked!

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Drinking relaxes people. It brings down walls. Allows people to level with one another and communicate on a basic level (even though the communcation may be slurred

 

Strange as it may seem to you, it is very possible to be relaxed and communicate on a much more satisfying level without booze.

 

you can use your superior imagination to take you to a pretend place where music festivals are the choice social atmosphere of "anyone who's anyone".

 

I find it interesting that drinkers get so hostile to non-drinkers. So you like alcohol as a way of socializing - fine. How's about 'live and let live' and accept that not everybody has to like your way of life? Lots of us don't - get over it.

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Originally posted by moimeme

Drinking relaxes people. It brings down walls. Allows people to level with one another and communicate on a basic level (even though the communcation may be slurred

 

Strange as it may seem to you, it is very possible to be relaxed and communicate on a much more satisfying level without booze.

 

you can use your superior imagination to take you to a pretend place where music festivals are the choice social atmosphere of "anyone who's anyone".

 

I find it interesting that drinkers get so hostile to non-drinkers. So you like alcohol as a way of socializing - fine. How's about 'live and let live' and accept that not everybody has to like your way of life? Lots of us don't - get over it.

 

I think I know why we're so hostile. It's because your limitless imagination takes you anywhere you want to go whenever you want. And I'm jealous :mad: . You can even use your imagination to pretend like you made any point in your last post.

 

Why didn't you add evidence to support your "people drink because they lack imagination argument"? Have you realized that you had no basis to make such a statement?

 

Where did you get the idea that I'm hostile towards non-drinkers? Must have been that imagination of yours again. If you're gonna say something outrageous as "people who drink lack imagination", you're going to need to back up with more than "us non drinkers love traveling and ball room dancing".

 

Seriously, I can't believe I'm the only one calling you on that. Normally I wouldn't care but then someone else was like, "OMG, I think they lack imagination too"....please.

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I enjoy getting boozed up when I'm with my friends. Doesn't happen very often, but I dunno...it's just fun. I can easily have fun without booze, it's just a different kinda fun, a "I don't give a s*** if I say something really stupid" kinda fun.

 

Haven't gone clubbing in ages, but since I'm single now, I might go sometime. I didn't go when I was involved, I mean whats the point of a GUY going to a club when he has a girl? To dance? Pssh.

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Originally posted by moimeme

Drinking relaxes people. It brings down walls. Allows people to level with one another and communicate on a basic level (even though the communcation may be slurred)

 

Haven't gone clubbing in ages, but I'm single now, I might go sometime. Whats the point of a GUY going to a club when he has a girl?

 

In my case it's girl. Lol. :laugh: .

 

I think when you are single (like me) the clubbing, drinking, partying scene seems more appealing to you. A place where you can meet people around your age (most the time).

 

In Moimeme's post I agree that when you drink it allows everybody to communicate on a basic level and it brings down wall barriers.

 

I wouldn't mind meeting new people who don't go clubbing, drinking and partying. It's a matter of finding them! Although I do have one friend that doesn't go out or drink at all and that doesn't bother me one bit! :) .

 

It's good to have a mixture of friends who like doing different things.

 

Going out at night is less appealing when you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend, partner. You already have someone there

with you why bother wasting all that money when you can just have a quiet one at home.

 

Like I said in my last post I only get to go out every once in a blue moon because all my friends have settled down and got kids. (Only a couple of them have kids). That's about the only time I do drink.

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