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Once a cheater always a cheater? True or False?


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Do you guys think that someone (Fem/Male) who has always been a cheater (deceiver, liar and incapable of faithfulness) could change?

 

Do you know of anyone who has? Stories welcomed.

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False.

 

I think people can indeed change, but it takes something pretty bad to happen for that to occur. Something life altering, or heart wrenching.

 

Or there is the thought that if someone cheats, they aren't really in love. Maybe when they ARE completely in love, cheating would never be a possibility.

 

However, I would have an incredibly hard time trusting someone who has cheated. I have trust issues as it is, so that would make it even worse.

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I think that people that have made a habit of cheating rarely change...they don't understand the concept of monogamy. I also think that there are those that have made a one time mistake of cheating, and are truely remorseful for it. It's up to you to decide what catagory this person falls into.

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A leopard never changes his/hers spots.

 

People aren't leopards. Personality characteristics are not spots.

 

I'm with BabyGirl. Cheating is like any other misdeed. There are people who commit one crime, go to jail, and straighten up as a result. Others continue to commit crimes. Same with infidelity. Some people do it once, learn a very hard lesson, and fly straight from then onwards.

 

There is no one rule for anything, especially when it comes to people.

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I agree with moimeme. However, cheating is a matter of character. If an individual is inclined to stray, to betray, to be seduced by others, then unless major changes take place to change that element of his or her character the possibility of recurrence is pretty good. On the other hand, I think there are a lot of people who cheat just once and the feeling they get out of it is enough to keep them from doing it again.

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Do you guys think that someone (Fem/Male) who has always been a cheater (deceiver, liar and incapable of faithfulness) could change?

 

ok i used a wrong choice of words (sowwy) lol... however im going on that it was NOT a one time thing.... she stated who has ALWAYS been a cheater.... then i stand firm... he may not stray for awhile... however if hes always done it and shows no remorse for his actions.... its just a matter of time... however someone who has only cheated once and didnt like the guilt etc.... yes it is quite possible for him to not do it anymore.....

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Originally posted by Tony

I agree with moimeme. However, cheating is a matter of character. If an individual is inclined to stray, to betray, to be seduced by others, then unless major changes take place to change that element of his or her character the possibility of recurrence is pretty good. On the other hand, I think there are a lot of people who cheat just once and the feeling they get out of it is enough to keep them from doing it again.

 

I agree the cheating is only OK to people who can lie and not feel bad about it. People who are selfish and immature.

 

There's also a big difference between someone who screws up one night after some emotional crash & confesses the next day - or few days later... I don't think they'd ever do it again even if they fell in love with soemone else, they couldn't bring themselves to be so dishonerable.

 

However a person who continually sneaks around behind their partners back having affairs, aren't going to change their ways not even if they have their heart broken by another cheater. They usually justify their actions with excuses and lies that they tell themselves to make it ok. They usually don't care about anything but themselves anyhow.

 

I have learned though experience if someone will lie for you they'll lie to you... if they'll steal for you they steal from you... if they cheat with you they'll cheat on you.

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Originally posted by CostumeSmile

Do you guys think that someone (Fem/Male) who has always been a cheater (deceiver, liar and incapable of faithfulness) could change?

 

Do you know of anyone who has? Stories welcomed.

 

You know costume smile, I've cheated many times and initially, I felt terrible, treated my girl extra nice, but when I didn't get caught, it became more and more addicting.

 

Not all is lost!!! There have been women that I've been involved with, that made me want to clean up my act.

 

There is hope for us, after all!

 

~V

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lemme say what i always say in these cheating threads.... there's a big difference between a one-night-stand kind of cheating and a-whole-affair kind of cheating. i'd find the latter extremely hard to forgive, mental loyalty is too important. the first kind is easier to forgive, but it's more likely to repeat, i think.

 

i think it also matters (to whether or not it will happen again) how it happened - some men don't seek to cheat, but if a girl offers herself, they don't refuse.

 

such variety, even in cheating!

 

that's my 2c,

-yes

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I have heard stories (and seen some here) of people, particularly fellows, who have had troubles with fidelity but then actually fell in love and that changed them. I suppose it's rare - or maybe it's just a factor of becoming more mature. Some people take much longer than others to grow up but can be every bit as successful at being mature adults as those who straightened up earlier.

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there's a distinction to be made, it seems, between staying faithful because it's a principle you have (thou shalt not cheat ;)) vs. staying faithful because you truly love your partner.

 

-yes

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I think that anyone can change! once someone faces reality that they have to grow up sometime, then they can face the reality that they can settle down with one individual. The problem from a guys point of view is that there are no challenges from woman anymore. Too many woman are way too easy to take advantage of and lack a lot of self respect. if a guy could choose 3 woman over just one, of course that is the route he is going to take. But if one woman puts up a challenge then that person has something to work for. It changes his whole perspective on cheating or not being faithful. but most of all it has to be something that the person has to realize on there own. For myself I used to be the quote un quote "Player" but it took somebody special to come in my life and throw up those challenges to make me aware of the person I wanted to be. You can either continue to hurt people and make them feel used and disgraced or you can become a real man and be content and happy with the one person that offers you more than anyone can imagine. Games will always be Games, and reality will always be the Truth!!

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Thanks for all the replies...specially the guys...

 

So depending on the circumstances a cheater can change.......therefor the answer to my question "Once a cheater always a cheater? True or False?" is FALSE!

 

There is a difference between a cheater and your average bad boy....

 

Cheaters deceive and lie to the woman to make her stay, they make woman believe that they are the only one.

 

On the other hand bad boys (I think) are more open and honest about their ways and don't let woman get too close or attached.

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On the other hand bad boys (I think) are more open and honest about their ways and don't let woman get too close or attached.

 

I don't believe that for one moment. It's the very failure to prevent women from getting attached that makes them 'bad'. Once you become a considerate human, you'll drop the player ways.

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Originally posted by CostumeSmile

 

On the other hand bad boys (I think) are more open and honest about their ways and don't let woman get too close or attached.

 

Very true, costume smile, but it depends, though. Sometimes I will tell a woman, straight up that I'm no f**king good for them and will break their hearts. But they still try!

 

~V

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Alright so I mean the difference between a cheater and a guy who doesn't want to settle I guess....geesh...

 

I mean there is a difference no? Oh whateve! I want nothing to do with neither anywa....lol

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Originally posted by moimeme

On the other hand bad boys (I think) are more open and honest about their ways and don't let woman get too close or attached.

 

I don't believe that for one moment. It's the very failure to prevent women from getting attached that makes them 'bad'. Once you become a considerate human, you'll drop the player ways.

 

I respectfull, disagree, Moi. I won't let a women get close to me, nor will I let myself get close to them!

 

~V

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hurtinrealbad

Anyone can change for the better, but they have to want it. Somebody else wishing or wanting another to change isn't going to help, it has to come from within the person who needs to change. It's like an alcoholic. Eventhough everyone around him/her may think, believe and even say that somebody is an alcoholic, they truly aren't until that person says "I am an alcoholic, I have failed and I want to right my wrongs." Obviously there is a lot of work ahead of that person, probably a lot of damage has been done and some can be repaired and some can't, but you have to keep moving forward. I think the same holds true in cheating. Both are devastating, but obviously one is a little more personal than the other, and often times a drinking problem and cheating go hand-in-hand together.

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I respectfull, disagree, Moi. I won't let a women get close to me, nor will I let myself get close to them!

 

That's you. You are one person. There are more bad boys than just you, and many of them will operate differently. People, after all, are all different.

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I think MOi is right by that last statement all together, each individual is different and it is up to that individual to pick his friends, pick his attitude and pick how he wants to be perceived. If he wants to continue to cheat, then he will. But if he wants to make a straight forward effort to change then he will. It all goes hand and hand, and everyone is and will be there own person. You can not change somebody into the person you want them to be, but you can give guidance!!!

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Originally posted by moimeme

 

There is no one rule for anything, especially when it comes to people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sure there is......people are not perfect.

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