so lost and desperate

[brokenhope]

i am 20 and he is 24 and i have been in a relationship with him for about 2 years now. the way we see things he wears the pants and i just follow along. things have been rocky lately and we have fought alot and everytime we get in to it, he always breaks up with me. i beg him not to do it and he always does. but somehow, i always end up persuading him to accept me back and he does. well last night we got into it because i bought the wrong crystal lite for him and he was really mean to me. he started calling me stupid and telling me how i cant do anything right. i tried to ignore it but he wouldnt stop so then i broke down. the tears started. he kept yelling at me to stop f!@king crying but this made me cry even harder. finally i couldnt take it anymore and i snapped. i started calling him names and picked up a towel and threw it at him and it hit him in the face. i was wrong for doing that and felt terrible and i tried to apoligize. he started to call me more names and said that we were done and that he never wanted to see me again. i didnt put up a fight, i was to drained to and left to my dads house. an hour later he's calling me on my cell begging me to come home. i dont get it! he breaks up with me and then wants me back. i feel like im losing my mind. im so confused. i dont know which way is up. im so desperate now. somebody please help me. why does he act like that? why cant he be nice to me? i want to leave him but i know ill end up missing him and go back to him.

[Tony T]

He didn't break up with you. He was just pissed at the time and said whatever came to his mind, just like you did.

 

Your main problem here is that you're dating a guy who loses it when you buy the wrong kind of Crystal Lite (I hate that stuff). If this kind of petty stuff can anger him and incite a major argument, I think you need to re-evaluate the relationship. No matter how much you love him, you can never live with a guy with this kind of anger problem. It would have been appropriate for him to let you know that was the wrong type of Crystal Lite...but to get angry is immature and downright insane.

 

I think your guy has some major problems. He may be fine most of the time but he's not a guy you want to make a mistake around. You have to ask yourself if this is the type of person you want to spend more time with...or even the rest of your life. Living with a crazy person can be a living hell.

 

As far as this latest spat, I think you need to go talk to him and get this anger situation squared away. He needs to see just how he reacted. And you need to learn more appropriate ways of handling a crazy person. Perhaps some counselling for him would help him get to the root of his anger...I'm sure it has nothing to do with Crystal Lite. He has other deeper issues.

 

Until he gets his act together, you either need to work with him with his issues or back off when he goes apeshxt.

[Abdel]

In a very short and clear way what you both need, if you decided to stay together, is to take courses on"anger management" for him and "self esteem" for you. Without both of you take matters seriously the abuse will continue everytime you are together. This is not a healthy relationship at all. One of you may loose his nerve and do something really bad to the other out of uncontrolled anger . If I were you I would think work things out before I go back. This is a seriously dangrous situation.