kollontai77 Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Greetings. I fell hopelessly for an older guy, teaching us about cameras, back in 2005. He seemed initially to be a little bit interested, but cooled off. There was no physical intimacy at all. I told him of my feelings the following year by text message, he wasn't interested. There were years where we didn't talk or see each other at all, besides him fixing cameras for me. But we became friends on Facebook last year, and that's when the problems really started. He invited me over to his place, we talked for three hours, about his ex moving on with another partner, and his desire to resurrect his film career. I was going through tough times as well. We talked to each other lots on facebook, making jokes, liking each others photos, and providing occasional support to each other. But when he started posting pictures of the new women he was dating, I couldn't cope with the jealousy. I defriended him and explained why a couple of weeks ago. He blocked me in return. I've emailed him last night, asking how I can get over the infatuation when there's no future, and I miss his friendship. No response so far. I really don't know what to do. It's been 6 years in this vicious loop. I feel utterly humilated, unattractive and pathetic. Noone really understands how intensely I feel, and some think it's pathologically wrong and creepy. I am terrified that I will turn into an evil stalker, and that he is scared of me. I feel also that I am disintegrating and that I have no self. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
DanielH Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Can you go to a psychologist? Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 (edited) What can you do? You can change this "story" you have going on in your mind about yourself and this situation. I think it's common for all of us to have beliefs, or stories, in our minds about ourselves and our lives, and sometimes our stories aren't really an accurate reflection of reality. Right now, it seems like the story that you are repeating over and over in your mind is something like, "I'm a pathetic and unattractive person who has been rejected by a near-perfect man because another woman is prettier then me". What's another way you can view this situation? For example, what are some alternate, positive things you can say about your current single status? What are some of your attractive qualities, qualities that others don't have, and may seem just normal to you? What is an alternate way you can view your strong-willed nature? I think you should re-write your "story". Look at yourself through a different, more positive lens. Turn what you're viewing as a tragedy into something good. I know, easier said than done. But possible! Edited July 31, 2011 by pie2 Link to post Share on other sites
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