Do I wait, or do I walk?

[funnyface]

I wrote a previous post about this whole situation that happened with my boyfriend while we were in Paris. Long story short... we went on the trip with a bunch of our friends, including some of his friends from California. During the trip, he became very very distant from me. He came home and said that he is miserable in NY and wants to move back, but doesn't want to break up with me. And that nothing is wrong between us.

 

Okay, fine. But considering that our relationship before this trip consisted of texts every day filled with "I love you", "baby", "sweetheart", romantic gestures, unexpected flowers, the whole 9 yards, and now we're barely talking, its hard for me to accept that nothing's wrong between us. I have confronted him about this about 4 or 5 times, asking him whats wrong, practically telling him to break up with me ASAP instead of treating me like a stranger. Every single time, he has denied that there is anything wrong between us, but instead that he is feeling sad and homesick, and misses his friends and his old life. While I 100% understand that, I just don't know why we're barely talking. I don't know why he's not coming to me to comfort him. Its hard because I feel like he's shutting me out.

 

We've been home for 4 days so far from our trip. Last night he insisted that we talk over the phone. I thought "this is it... he's going to end it." Wrong again. He was upset because he's been planning a surprise for my birthday and was texting one of my friends about it. He got upset because she asked if he was still doing it, to which he responded "why wouldn't I be?". She said because she thought that "things were weird between you guys", and assured her that it was still going on. Yet another shock for me. And even though the most he can manage these days is a text that says "hey", he keeps asking me if I'm coming with him to a wedding at the end of the month.

 

I'm just extremely confused. I believe that he is upset, but don't know why he is pushing me away like I mean nothing to him. I just can't read his signals. Some of my friends tell me to wait it out, and he'll come around. Others tell me to dump him. I love him. I don't want to mess this up. Please help!

[Forever Learning]

You need more direct and honest communication with him regarding his shift. He may be depressed and not aware of it. Or he may be stringing you along so he has a date for the upcoming wedding. His sudden shift in behavior is annoying you and therefore you have to be very direct and figure this out by explaining to him that it is a very serious situation to you. Good luck!

[wallacemia]

I wrote a previous post about this whole situation that happened with my boyfriend while we were in Paris. Long story short... we went on the trip with a bunch of our friends, including some of his friends from California. During the trip, he became very very distant from me. He came home and said that he is miserable in NY and wants to move back, but doesn't want to break up with me. And that nothing is wrong between us.

 

Okay, fine. But considering that our relationship before this trip consisted of texts every day filled with "I love you", "baby", "sweetheart", romantic gestures, unexpected flowers, the whole 9 yards, and now we're barely talking, its hard for me to accept that nothing's wrong between us. I have confronted him about this about 4 or 5 times, asking him whats wrong, practically telling him to break up with me ASAP instead of treating me like a stranger. Every single time, he has denied that there is anything wrong between us, but instead that he is feeling sad and homesick, and misses his friends and his old life. While I 100% understand that, I just don't know why we're barely talking. I don't know why he's not coming to me to comfort him. Its hard because I feel like he's shutting me out.

 

We've been home for 4 days so far from our trip. Last night he insisted that we talk over the phone. I thought "this is it... he's going to end it." Wrong again. He was upset because he's been planning a surprise for my birthday and was texting one of my friends about it. He got upset because she asked if he was still doing it, to which he responded "why wouldn't I be?". She said because she thought that "things were weird between you guys", and assured her that it was still going on. Yet another shock for me. And even though the most he can manage these days is a text that says "hey", he keeps asking me if I'm coming with him to a wedding at the end of the month.

 

I'm just extremely confused. I believe that he is upset, but don't know why he is pushing me away like I mean nothing to him. I just can't read his signals. Some of my friends tell me to wait it out, and he'll come around. Others tell me to dump him. I love him. I don't want to mess this up. Please help!

 

 

Wait for a few weeks. don't walk away yet. The same thing is happening to me but in my case its my wife who is behaving like this. i'd say give him some time. You will come to know if he is depressed. if you love him so much, you will give him a few chances and some time. Within a few weeks of my marriage, i even thought of saying goodbye to my wife because of here similar behaviour. Life is full of uncertainties right?

 

A suggestion: Go to a marriage Councillor alone or with him ASAP.

 

If you are religious, try visiting your place of worship frequently and pray to God that you find a way.

 

I am giving my wife more time.

 

All the best.