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Something I've never dealt with before


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A little about me before starting. I'm a 53 yo man, married to my second wife for right around 20 years. Never strayed, never really been that interested, not that there haven't been opportunities. We've been taking ballroom dancing lessons for about 4 years, so there have been many that I've passed up on.

 

Recently I find myself in a situation that I haven't encountered before. Not something that's come about suddenly, but it's developed over some time and now I find I can't get her out of my mind. She doesn't have any idea, and unless she's really psychic she never will, for one really good reason.

 

Come to find out she's not even 18 yet.....

 

What the hell has happened to me? I'm one of those who always laughed about the older guys falling for some young thing, wondering just what they could be thinking and joking about the age difference. Won't be doing that anymore, and somehow at this point I just don't really think it's a joke.

 

So, now the problem is what to do to get this out of my head and get over it. I've tried, and the brain has all the reasons why I should get over this and move on, but the heart simply doesn't know what to do. The really bad part of this situation is that there's no way to simply cut off contact, which would make life easier, because that would be cutting my wife off from something she loves, dancing. And I can't talk to my wife about this, she's insecure enough that this would really cause an issue.

 

I've had a hard time writing this, started it several times and discarded it. Hard to find a way to say something like this without it really sounding bad, but I don't think there's any simpler way. Perhaps I'm just looking to vent, I don't want this and the frustration of not being able to get rid of it is making me crazy.

 

Maybe I'm just crazy already.

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Forever Learning

find a therapist or other trusted individual (clergy) to talk to about this. don't let it fester and become a dangerous obsession for you. work on it now with someone so you can get back to the happiness you had before you ever laid eyes on this person and opened this can of unhappy obsessive worms.

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Jim, take the advice above.

 

Also, I'm praying for you right now. This is serious, and I pray to God you will do the right things.

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