tb24 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Ok I have a predicament... back in February I applied to do a Ph.D at a university quite far away. At the time, other than my job (which is good, but not fantastic) there was nothing really keeping me here, sure I have family here but most of my friends have moved away. One of my best friends actually goes to the university I applied to. Anyway, I never heard anything back and put it to the back of my mind; I didn't really think about it. Two months ago I met a girl who I'd consider pretty much perfect for me. We clicked instantly, we're into the same music, we're as geeky as each other and have a lot of shared interests, she's absolutely beautiful and I've never met a girl I've had such an instant connection with. However, she is also going off to university in october in the opposite direction. If I stay here she's in easy visiting distance... If I go to university she really isnt (150 miles+). Alternatively, I could quite easily move closer to her. I know for a fact, neither me or her could handle a LDR. so today I find out my Ph.D application was successful and received an offer of a place. While I feel incredibly happy I also feel really torn. I don't know what to do :-\ I've never met a girl like her before, she really is something special. I have the option of deferring the offer for a year but that'll just put me in the same position in a years time. I suppose my problem is this is a big decision which will certainly drastically alter my life, whichever option I choose. Obviously the ideal scenario would be to do a Ph.D at the university my girlfriend is at... but she's going to the best university in the country and it's pretty much impossible to get a funded Ph.D there So basically I have the choice of being with (what at the moment seems like) the girl of my dreams or furthering my academic career and getting a doctorate. I don't even know why I'm posting here obviously it's a decision I need to make but still any advice is welcome What should I do? How do I decide? My brain tells me that it's unlikely the relationship will last so I should go back to university. My heart tells me I'll never meet a girl like her again and I should defer the phd for a year and see how I feel then. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Chevy Chase put off a career opportunity for a girl. The girl didn't work out because they never do and you lose your opportunity. A girl will rarely put a SO before herself and furthering herself. Why should you? I don't hear anything about her offering to go to your university for you. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I have the option of deferring the offer for a year but that'll just put me in the same position in a years time. Yes, but then you'll have much more information upon which to base a decision - as in, either the relationship will be over, or the two of you will know that you are serious and you (plural you) can make longer term decisions based on that. Link to post Share on other sites
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