chelle21689 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 All this "connection" crap has got me over thinking and giving me a headache. Everyone says you just know it. I dated someone for 5 1/2 years and it took a memories and moments to build for there to be a connection and it wasn't INSTANT. We could talk for hours but I didn't have feelings til months later. There was only one person in my whole life that I met that I feel like that had an amazing connection with. We just mixed, talked for hours on end, we were so much alike. I wasn't in love though...he wasn't in love with me. We were both taken. But I've never met anyone else that I could have that with. Then there's this guy I'm currently seeing. We're the same person basically, we have the same views, but we're both shy and quiet so sometimes there are talkative moments and sometimes there is a silence. I feel very drawn to him even though we don't talk A LOT. But I've never laughed so much during a conversation...it's hard to get me to laugh. Sometimes the convo flows and sometimes it doesn't. It's inconsistent so I'm wondering what the hell? I feel a connection sometimes... and sometimes I don't. Next day it feels like we're connected and then the next it's awkward. HUH!? lol So I'm confused on this whole connection thing where you feel like you just mix with the person. Again, I've felt that with ONE person my whole life where it was INSTANT but we're not together. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelemort Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Ebbs and flows in your relationship - and even some degree to attraction - is natural. How long have you been with the current guy? I admit there are some days where I feel more in love or attracted than others. I think that's normal. Feelings change. You say you and your boyfriend are basically the same person - do you mean in terms of values/interests/hobbies/etc., or just values? I share a lot of similarities with my boyfriend on our personal values - on religion, politics, raising children, drugs, weapons, family, marriage, relationships and sex. That's important in moving a relationship forward, so sometimes it can be boring when it's like, "I think x is wrong." "Me too." We have some overlap in terms of hobbies/media. Enough to get along, but enough to introduce each other to new things. For me, that's important. Don't freak out. Go with the flow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 We aren't official but I know he wants a relationship but I think I need more time even though I like him. I've been "seeing" him for almost 6 weeks meeting him through a mutual friend. And I agree. Some days I feel crazy about him and some days I don't get butterflies, it's inconsistent but I assume that is normal. We're the same as in we're both laid-back, reserved but talk when we want to, we like trying new things, we're pretty open-minded to different people, we want to travel, religion, gay marriage, strong family values, etc. But I think disagreeing can make things interesting! So we haven't disagreed on anything yet...but it's still a very new relationship The only thing different between me and him is that I love philosophical conversation and I'm a very deep thinker. He'll listen and give thoughts but he isn't as "weird" as me. I think I'm a pretty odd person haha. Also that he's a very active guy and adventurous...I love it. He brings that side of me out. He's not too expressive so sometimes conversation is hard but sometimes it's very natural. Very inconsistent. Link to post Share on other sites
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