a very complicated situation

[xmay]

I guess I'll start with the basics and then generally get into how this whole situation got to how it is now. Me and my boyfriend (well ex) of two years broke up about a month ago. I'm in grade 11 and he's suppose to be into his second year but hes still not in school but going to college this year.

 

So, lets start from the beginning (2 years ago) from where it all started. I knew him indirectly in elementary but we never really talked but when we really met we found out we went to the same elementary school. This meeting was accidental because I didn't want to go to a talent show at our school and I ended up being dragged there by a friend. We only said a few words to eachother which was him starting the conversation with "Did you go to -so and so- elementary school?" and I said yes and didn't really pay attention to him and he had a girlfriend too. At the time I had a boyfriend and I was interested haha. But then soon he added me on facebook and we started talking which then lead to texting. He invited me to his volleyball games and then we started getting closer and closer. Back then I was a "hopper" (I hopped from boy to boy). But I somehow was very attracted to him. As we got closer and closer, I started to fall for him, and then a few months later, we were official. It was amazing for the first 4 months, and then I started to get scared and I found out that he hadn a habit, which was he thought he liked a girl but then in the end he didn't like them. This happens to everyone, believe me I was told from friend who have been in relationships for 4+ years. But that pissed me off and made me stray from him a little. And things came to other things, and I broke up with him. I was told he didn't take it well at all. He was physically/emotional/mentally broken. I wasn't the best person because I also dropped him as a friend which meant I didnt bother trying to talk to him or anything. I was pretty naive back then but the break up didn't last for awhile because soon after I started to have feelings for him again, and we started to talking again. We got back together again and then the time we spent together within the rest of the two years was amazing. After we got back together I could see change in him, he changed for me and that meant a lot. I was told from a friend of ours that during the process of getting back together he said "I want to change for her, break my bad habits". But then, a few months ago we started to get very tense, we got into little fights because both of our personal lives started to get very complicated. I know some of you say that outside problems don't affect the relationship between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend but it actually does in some peoples cases. We became on and off and on and off 2 months ago. And then finally, we both ended it. His reason was "Its becasue my life is changing.. My feelings towards you didn't change and wasn't the problem. In all honesty, it's just everythings changing for me" and what he means by that (to try to help you understand more) is that he doesn't know where hes going with his life, he doesn't really have any friends becasue they all dropped him but he still has some and is trying to reconnect with people. His family is a very, very complicated one, trust me I know, I've seen it for myself. It's quite understandable why we broke up because we were both having problems, which made us extra sensitive which means we would be set off by anything and get into fights. That only added more pressure to our situation and we just started to drift. Now at this moment I'm very confused. I mean I still love him a lot, and I know he still does because a couple of days ago he said our memories together "wont be replaced" and after he promised they wouldn't. Earlier last month I asked him again what the reason was becasue there was some miscommunication because he wasn't in person and he said it was to help us heal and get back up. But then when I asked what happens after we both are healed, and he then replied "I dont know, we'll see when the time comes =/".

 

So now you've read our situation I'm honestly very confused. From what I can read/understand he doesn't want me to wait for him during this healing time because it would hurt more if we didnt get back together in the end and just incase I didn't fine someone a long the way or vise versa. I know highschool relationships never really work out, but I've moved on from the situation (I do still love him though) but I have a feeling that one day we will get back together and I just need to give it time. Any opinions/thoughts :S