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Clues there is a mutual attraction?


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Was not sure where to put this so I stuck it here.:laugh: What are some of the clues/ signals that there is a mutual attraction going on between two people?

 

 

Mea:)

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Was not sure where to put this so I stuck it here.:laugh: What are some of the clues/ signals that there is a mutual attraction going on between two people?

 

 

Mea:)

 

They hang out together alot, they flirt, laugh, easy flow conversations, etc...

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They hang out together alot, they flirt, laugh, easy flow conversations, etc...

 

 

Ok.. but if they are not hanging out alot.. and the easy flow is there could that be a clue? Also.. the feeling that the air is thick?:laugh:

 

 

Mea:)

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The easy flow is not really a good clue because I have female friends who I have very easy flow conversations with. So easy that a couple that sat next to us asked how long we've been dating since the conversations just flowed.

 

The conversation could be anything, mostly long term things like what do you like, do you like "x", marriage, kids. Other conversations topics could be planning stuff together.

 

One is body language, when the guy/gal see their date; each of them ignore the other people. Like they are on in their own world.

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The easy flow is not really a good clue because I have female friends who I have very easy flow conversations with. So easy that a couple that sat next to us asked how long we've been dating since the conversations just flowed.

 

The conversation could be anything, mostly long term things like what do you like, do you like "x", marriage, kids. Other conversations topics could be planning stuff together.

 

One is body language, when the guy/gal see their date; each of them ignore the other people. Like they are on in their own world.

 

Ok. But what if your not around other people when interacting? What would be a clue from a guy? I noticed he always goes to the bathroom after he sees me...?:confused::laugh:

 

Mea:)

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Ok. But what if your not around other people when interacting? What would be a clue from a guy? I noticed he always goes to the bathroom after he sees me...?:confused::laugh:

 

Mea:)

 

Nah....that just means he is nervous around you and this causes frequent urination. :laugh:

 

When I am really interested in a woman, then it seems that every word she speaks is of great importance. Every move she makes is incredibly fascinating. And simply being with her makes the day brighter.

 

My guess is that you can sense the difference from a guy who simply views you as a friend. I don't know if it is always an obvious clue or if it is simply a gut feeling.

 

IMO when a woman shows interest in me, then I can tell by the look in her eyes more than anything else.

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I noticed he always goes to the bathroom after he sees me...?

 

He may be re-centering himself...

I 'll do that sometimes..

Gathering his thoughts as it were..

 

I'll get in a situation where I feel like I'm too nervous.. off to the bathroom I go.. calm down, talk to myself and go back out there...

 

Maybe that is what he is doing.. I do it a lot.. even at work sometimes if I get really busy and get frazzled...

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TBH, having been mind-f*cked over decades by signals far more obvious than those proffered here, I'll submit my version..... If I'm holding your hand as your last breath leaves your body and look into your eyes as you depart from my life, you'll know, without a doubt, that my attraction and devotion was ever-constant and ever-lasting. Anything else is trusting a mystery, IMO. This is not to discount that mysteries should be trusted or that doing so is unhealthy. Accepting such without prejudice appears to be the healthiest path, for myself anyway.

 

I'll provide some of the signals...beyond 'googly eyes', we have touching/stroking of face and limbs with hands and other body parts; kissing; whispering in one's ear; accidental 'bumps'; rubbing of legs; feeding each other food; massages. This of course leaves out sex with people who aren't attracted but rather have an agenda ;). BTW, most of the signals listed are/have been from women other than the one I was married to for ten years, some prior, some during and some after that marriage.

 

Before my mom died, I used to watch spouses at her facility wheeling around their demented partners, feeding them, dressing them, talking to them softly and showing them affection even when they weren't recognized. That's attraction and devotion IMO. The signals were obvious.

 

If the above sounds cynical, accepted. Life does that, sometimes :)

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Nah....that just means he is nervous around you and this causes frequent urination. :laugh:

 

:lmao::o

 

 

 

I would say this.

 

I also refer to it as, the "googley eye" look. :bunny::love:

 

I'm getting that look.:love:

 

He may be re-centering himself...

I 'll do that sometimes..

Gathering his thoughts as it were..

 

I'll get in a situation where I feel like I'm too nervous.. off to the bathroom I go.. calm down, talk to myself and go back out there...

 

Maybe that is what he is doing.. I do it a lot.. even at work sometimes if I get really busy and get frazzled...

 

So.. perhaps my good looks frazzle him.. and he needs to take a trip to the potty to pull himself together?? I also notice this time he was wearing after shave and chewing gum.:laugh:

 

Mea:)

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TBH, having been mind-f*cked over decades by signals far more obvious than those proffered here, I'll submit my version..... If I'm holding your hand as your last breath leaves your body and look into your eyes as you depart from my life, you'll know, without a doubt, that my attraction and devotion was ever-constant and ever-lasting. Anything else is trusting a mystery, IMO. This is not to discount that mysteries should be trusted or that doing so is unhealthy. Accepting such without prejudice appears to be the healthiest path, for myself anyway.

 

I'll provide some of the signals...beyond 'googly eyes', we have touching/stroking of face and limbs with hands and other body parts; kissing; whispering in one's ear; accidental 'bumps'; rubbing of legs; feeding each other food; massages. This of course leaves out sex with people who aren't attracted but rather have an agenda ;). BTW, most of the signals listed are/have been from women other than the one I was married to for ten years, some prior, some during and some after that marriage.

 

Before my mom died, I used to watch spouses at her facility wheeling around their demented partners, feeding them, dressing them, talking to them softly and showing them affection even when they weren't recognized. That's attraction and devotion IMO. The signals were obvious.

 

If the above sounds cynical, accepted. Life does that, sometimes :)

 

Or that....

 

Nicely stated Carhill. :)

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Oooh that's good.

 

Do you sense a certain "lock" in the gaze when it happens?

 

There have been a few lock in gazes...:laugh: Then he looks down?:confused:

 

Carhill.. Well put my friend. Thank you.

 

 

 

Mea :)

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Like Carhill, I am cynical about this stuff. I feel like a war veteran on dating and it's related nonsense.

 

Just b/c a guy has a crush on you or "likes" you doesn't mean anything is going to happen. I've had lots of guys say they liked me or had a crush on me and it went nowhere. A guy said in college and he said he always had a crush on me & thought I was the most beautiful woman in our entire school. I thought something was going to happen after his revelation, but nada.

 

I've come to believe that some people have crushes or "like" different people, but aren't interested in turning it into a mutual like or a romantic situation.

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He may be re-centering himself...

 

Ok. But what if your not around other people when interacting? What would be a clue from a guy? I noticed he always goes to the bathroom after he sees me...?:confused::laugh:

 

Mea:)

Or adjusting him himself... ;)

 

 

 

Not around other people... well it should be more intimate. Both people should be more relaxed, some getting close, each other asking questions to prolong the inevitable. Being asked to leave because he can't stay the night! :lmao:

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Or adjusting him himself... ;)

 

 

 

Not around other people... well it should be more intimate. Both people should be more relaxed, some getting close, each other asking questions to prolong the inevitable. Being asked to leave because he can't stay the night! :lmao:

 

Adjusting... Yes.. that is what I was thinking.:laugh: Hmmmm.. the relaxation is there...;)

 

 

Mea:)

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Perhaps it is this dynamic which impelled me to believe in the concept of time revealing all truths. Specifically, that *some* people, gender being neutral, much like a salesperson becomes 'familiar' with their prospect, use social knowledge to proffer social cues which are interpreted as attraction/interest/like/whatever. These are tools to get what they want from the prospect, whether that be money, sex, validation, sympathy, whatever. The clear demarcation is the shelf life. Once they get what they want, poof, the signals go away. More insidiously, the prospect is just a tool to get what they want *from someone else* and I've experienced this dynamic enough times to see it clearly now. So, time and consistency (mitigating the mystery step by step) are the clearest indicators of genuine interest and/or attraction to me. I've been using this methodology since separating and it appears to be pretty accurate in ferreting out the players from the noise they create, as well as to better discern those potentials who are situationally attracted, kinda like 'beer goggles', where their perception and actions are altered by circumstance (not necessarily alcohol or drugs).

 

One would think, at my age, this wouldn't be an issue, as we're all big boys and girls, but, alas, apparently it is. Oh, well, life goes on....

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Perhaps it is this dynamic which impelled me to believe in the concept of time revealing all truths. Specifically, that *some* people, gender being neutral, much like a salesperson becomes 'familiar' with their prospect, use social knowledge to proffer social cues which are interpreted as attraction/interest/like/whatever. These are tools to get what they want from the prospect...

 

 

It would be fine by me for him to use his tool to gain the prospect.:laugh: Seriously now.. I hear what your saying.:)

 

Mea:)

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Here's a question to ponder. Do you have doubts about a man's attraction if he doesn't immediately present clear and strong cues/signals of attraction, based on your historical perceptions?

 

I recall a couple of ladies from my younger years who, in retrospect, may have dismissed me (after a number of dates) because I wasn't presenting a compatible attraction *style*, even though I did find them attractive. The cues given out were insufficiently equivalent to historical perspective. OTOH, it may have merely been a dynamic of them 'giving me a chance' and, feeling nothing significant, even though their 'signals' appeared to have said otherwise, terminating the encounter. We didn't do exit interviews back in those days. Part of the mystery :)

 

So as to not sound like a totally negative Nellie, when I'm attracted, I spend a lot of time with eye contact, both when speaking/listening as well as when silent. In fact, I tend to talk less when in a mutual attraction dynamic, preferring to converse non-verbally through expression and body language. Others will notice (apparently, since it has been commented on by friends) and there becomes a dynamic where the circumstances and affectations of the venue slip away and there are only the two of us. This is an active thought process. Unlike most men, I'm very subtle (I know, because I am a man and watch what men do) but engaging. She *knows* without obvious actions to demonstrate. This dynamic will be consistent and escalate over time.

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Here's a question to ponder. Do you have doubts about a man's attraction if he doesn't immediately present clear and strong cues/signals of attraction, based on your historical perceptions?

 

Yes.:o I can sense the attraction.. but I wonder if I'm confusing it was just more of a general compassion for me?

 

 

 

 

 

So as to not sound like a totally negative Nellie, when I'm attracted, I spend a lot of time with eye contact, both when speaking/listening as well as when silent. In fact, I tend to talk less when in a mutual attraction dynamic, preferring to converse non-verbally through expression and body language. Others will notice (apparently, since it has been commented on by friends) and there becomes a dynamic where the circumstances and affectations of the venue slip away and there are only the two of us. This is an active thought process. Unlike most men, I'm very subtle (I know, because I am a man and watch what men do) but engaging. She *knows* without obvious actions to demonstrate. This dynamic will be consistent and escalate over time.

 

I sense this guy acting that very way.

 

 

Mea:)

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While YMMV, IME *most* men, short of clergy and psychologists, do not show significant nor timely compassion for anyone they're not emotionally invested in at a some level. I'm not talking about 'so sorry to hear that' kind of stuff here. I mean genuine interest in details and nuances. It's just not part of most men's wiring. Historically, it was why I had few male friends. When you're in pain, they poke you in the ribs and comment on how slow your car is. That's what men do. That's how they show 'compassion'.

 

So, if you sense an aura of compassion for yourself about him, unless this aura is global, IOW that he is compassionate towards everyone, there's a strong chance it's a component of attraction for him; part of his attraction *style*. Whether that style is, in totality, compatible with your own is another matter.

 

Like I mentioned prior, time reveals all truths.

 

My MO (specific to me) now is to pursue as long as I feel attracted unless and until I sense conflicting signals from the lady. A lady (or a man) with true and healthy interest will be consistent, and this consistency is part of compatibility for myself. Your senses of compatibility will be uniquely your own. If you and he match up, :bunny::)

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While YMMV, IME *most* men, short of clergy and psychologists, do not show significant nor timely compassion for anyone they're not emotionally invested in at a some level. I'm not talking about 'so sorry to hear that' kind of stuff here. I mean genuine interest in details and nuances. It's just not part of most men's wiring. Historically, it was why I had few male friends. When you're in pain, they poke you in the ribs and comment on how slow your car is. That's what men do. That's how they show 'compassion'.

 

So, if you sense an aura of compassion for yourself about him, unless this aura is global, IOW that he is compassionate towards everyone, there's a strong chance it's a component of attraction for him; part of his attraction *style*. Whether that style is, in totality, compatible with your own is another matter.

 

Like I mentioned prior, time reveals all truths.

 

My MO (specific to me) now is to pursue as long as I feel attracted unless and until I sense conflicting signals from the lady. A lady (or a man) with true and healthy interest will be consistent, and this consistency is part of compatibility for myself. Your senses of compatibility will be uniquely your own. If you and he match up, :bunny::)

 

 

Carhill.. I give you credit.. you know how to get me talking:laugh: He is VERY compassionate. And that is one quality I very much desire in a man. It's mirrors me. They say your ideal mate is your mirror image right? So.. due to this compassion.. I believe we click.. and well.. but, I have misread signals from men.. so often that I'm afraid my radar sucks!! The last thing I need is to make one big giant FOOL of myself.. if I were to make a move.

 

Mea:)

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Try this....feel like you want to make a move. Visualize it in your minds eye. Let your expressions and body language indicate you'd like to devour him, but make no overt moves nor provide any aural clues...... Ha, a married lady taught me this. Man, was she good at this stuff...... Then, *let* him respond as he feels and in accordance with his male desires. Facilitate him. He'll think it was all him. We'll know better ;)

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Try this....feel like you want to make a move. Visualize it in your minds eye. Let your expressions and body language indicate you'd like to devour him, but make no overt moves nor provide any aural clues...... Ha, a married lady taught me this. Man, was she good at this stuff...... Then, *let* him respond as he feels and in accordance with his male desires. Facilitate him. He'll think it was all him. We'll know better ;)

 

Worth a try. Thanks.:)

 

Mea:)

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