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Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

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Old 18th June 2003, 3:11 PM   #1
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Question Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Is there any truth to this quote? I always thought that women wanted to be treated nicely. I consider myself a perfect gentleman. I have always been nice. This is who I am. But I have read that it's a good idea to be a little cocky too.

Should I really be something I'm not? It doesn't seem right.
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Old 18th June 2003, 4:30 PM   #2
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Just be yourself and don't worry about how other guys act.

And just to set the record straight, NO! Nice guys don't always finish first, sometimes we even win big!

Hang in there man, there's a nice girl out there for you.
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Old 18th June 2003, 4:47 PM   #3
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YOU ASK: "Should I really be something I'm not?"

Absolutely not. Be yourself. There's nothing worse than false advertising to get you who you don't want.

However, most younger women and some older ones do not particularly get their hearts to set ablaze for a man who is always available, who constantly kisses their ass, who is consistently predictable, who is always insisting on being the one who gives, etc. Their passions are stirred by some unpredictability, some aloofness, some element of challenge.

So be who you are but just overdo the kindness. Always be nice. If you can just be a mystery, someone they can never figure can have just about any woman you want. No, that's not right...I have most of them.
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Old 20th June 2003, 12:14 PM   #4
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Should you be yourself? ABSOLUTELY!!!

I personally cannot stand a cocky man who thinks he is all that, because the truth be known none of us are! I will crucify the guy with the earring, fake tan, big muscles that comes up to me and has that look on his face like "I can have you", ughhhhh, get him out of here.

I'll try to explain it as simple as possible....

Most women do want a gentleman, someone who opens the door for them, pulls their chair out, pays for dinner and a guy who occasionally brings them flowers.

We like the guy who will pump our gas when it's cold out, puts air in our tires, takes out the trash and basically handles "the man" stuff.

We will usually walk all over the guy that is a pushover. The one that says "whatever you want honey", "Ok Dear, I'll sit at home with the kids while you go out".

In ten words or less, we want a man, we don't want a wimp!

I can think of many things I would like to do with George Clooney for a night, but the next man I marry will have the Noah Wyle attitude, get it?

I hope I've helped!
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Old 20th June 2003, 12:19 PM   #5
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P.S. If you guys need me, I'll be over here ------------------> X,
dreaming that these kind of men still exist!

Ok, Ok, maybe just a quick dream about George!, lol
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Old 20th June 2003, 2:45 PM   #6
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Well its all fine and good when people sugar coat life, but the fact is, good guys, especially when younger, finish last a lot.

I was the nice guy growing up, and I guess "being good friends" with a girl or being "like her brother" isn't finishing last, but it sure as hell ain't winning.

Life sucks, and life isn't fair, BUT it gets easier. So you might be losing a lot now, but as it goes it gets better. How old are you btw? I noticed things in college were a lot easier (maybe you're in college) and the best once out of college. Seems like once schooling is over a lot of the clique's fall apart.
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Old 20th June 2003, 3:35 PM   #7
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or, maybe as we get older, we tend to be less rigid in our mindset because our priorities have matured, and we give "nice guys" a second look when we know that there's a decent guy and not a jerk we can deal with.

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Old 20th June 2003, 3:53 PM   #8
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yeah i think you're right. In as you're growing up you classify people, jock, prep, nerd, band-geek. And then you judge them by that. As we grow up i think we throw a lot of those away and judge the person individually.

or by more important things like race or religion,
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Old 27th June 2003, 2:18 PM   #9
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Lightbulb Just be yourself

Just be yourself. If you want a woman to be your friend just
"be nice." But if you want something more, make it obvious to her.
She will either like you for you or give you a clue that she is not interested. I know that it is hard but the best thing you can do is wait for the correct person to come along. That person will like you no matter what you act like.
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Old 28th July 2003, 8:30 PM   #10
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nice guys lose no matter what!

what women wont tell you is not only are you last but dead last women say they want a guy to treat them right but go out with losers well you cant have it both ways bad and good so dont believe women when they say I want a gut that is nice and considerate blah blah blah what they want is someone to take care of them and listen to their bs but god forbid if you have a problem they couldnt care less
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Old 29th July 2003, 10:41 PM   #11
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tekguy, I have been doing an enormous amount of thinking about this and heres my scientific-like brain results. Keep being a nice guy there is nothing wrong with it. If you are nice keep being nice but don't be too nice because people will take advantage of you. You seem like a smart and kind dude, plenty of people will hate you for that because they are pieces of crap and they probably wish they were the good person you seem to be. Don't let those idiots brainwash you into thinking nice guys finish last. Mean guys always lose in the end because even if they have a big house, an SUV and a beautiful woman, they usually secretly hate themselves for being a.h.'s and their wives used to love being treated like crap when they were going steady but now the drama act got old and they are resentful and bitter. Look for a girl with more brains than looks, unless you can find an anomaly (i.e. a girl with both) that loves you. And Never ever give up because then you are giving these guys with the "nice guys finish last" mentality a victory they don't deserve. The most successful people in society are nice guys but that is hard to see when you are on the ground floor of life and you aren't standing on a hill. Don't be intimidated by other people's bad worn out b.s. and maybe one day the she you are looking for will find you. The bottom line, is that you are never too old to find the right person, and if someone doesn't want you because your nice, they don't want you, and you should move on because you can do better.

Last edited by superd; 29th July 2003 at 10:44 PM..
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Old 30th July 2003, 5:04 AM   #12
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Well, here's the thing. I have run into more than a couple of guys who insist they are 'nice guys' but who were nothing of the kind, including my recent ex who was argumentive, oppositional, and no fun at all ever. He made unkind remarks about people and behaved very selfishly, yet he was utterly convinced that he was nice. People can be very good about deceiving themselves, you know.

How do you know you are a nice guy? Do you have lots of friends who love you? Do people tell you you're a really nice guy? If you are labouring under the impression you are nice but haven't got any proof (such as compliments from others), then best re-evaluate your opinion of you. Could be you need some improvement in a few areas.

Just a thought.
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Old 30th July 2003, 4:52 PM   #13
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moimeme, first everyone thinks that nice guy is the worst thing and then I say it might not be that bad and you make it into the pinnacle acheivement. I am not trying to join the debate team, i am trying to answer a serious question that one of our fine posters asked.
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Old 30th July 2003, 5:00 PM   #14
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Tekguy, please don't stop being a nice guy. Take this from a 'hot chick'-that's what some a-holes have referred to me as, and guess what? none of them have stood a chance. why? i respect me, and want to respect the person that i'm with and would never consider dating someone that would objectify me blatantly like that. you don't worry. you stay kick ass sweet. you will meet someone of stellar quality some day that will treat you like a king, and you will treat like a queen. You deserve that!
Stay cool, and keep that chin up!
Something that came to me:
The loudest voice doesn't necessarily belong to the strongest person.
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Old 30th July 2003, 5:16 PM   #15
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How do you know you are a nice guy?
I think this is a very valid question. I, too, have run into many guys who claim to be nice and complain about "finishing last." While these guys may have had some "nice" qualities insofar as how they treat a woman, they also had some qualities which were not so "nice."
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