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What to do…what to do?

 

Got together with a co-worker several years ago. He had a long-term girlfriend, but claimed he didn’t want to be with her, they were taking a break, etc. Yes, I believe there was some manipulation involved and I was played. We got into a big fight over the whole thing and didn’t talk for months.

 

Maybe six months ago, he e-mailed me under the guise of work when he didn’t really need to and our friendship started up again, although we did just stay friends this time. We ended up meeting one night after work and had a great time. However, I really found myself thinking he was a jerk for e-mailing, talking and meeting up with me behind his girlfriend’s back. I also thought I’d be stupid to trust him myself.

 

I ended up e-mailing him to leave me alone and that I didn’t trust him. He got defensive and said he didn’t need a friend who would throw things back in his face (referring to the reasons I stated in my e-mail why I didn’t trust him). He always said he felt guilty for what he had/was doing, but I wondered why he kept doing it then. In the end, I threatened to tell his girlfriend what he had done, even though I don’t even know her. He threatened to make work difficult for me, called me psycho, hated me, never wanted to talk again, etc. Very ugly conversation…and basically the same as the first fight we had but with more friendship (or whatever you’d call it) behind us.

 

Anyway, we still have to see each other at work and since our last conversation he just glares at me and/or ignores me at work. (He did this ignoring thing before when we weren’t talking, although later he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me that whole time and had been mad at himself).

 

I haven’t done anything since our last fight, except I sent an e-mail right after that fight saying I didn’t think we should talk, but that I felt awful about my part in how things transpired. I said it wasn't necessary to respond, he didn’t, and has only glared at me at work since.

 

Yesterday, I was driving in my neighborhood and saw him. He works in the next town over from where I live, but it seems strange to me that he can’t find an alternate route, one that is more practical to where he lives/works and more than a few blocks from where I live.

So, here is what I am wondering:

Am I being presumptous to think he should be avoiding my neighborhood, if he really is avoiding me?

 

Also, I have been debating for awhile e-mailing him and asking if we can at least be civil to one another now (it's been 3 months or so). I thought maybe after he cooled off for awhile, things would improve but so far, no. I don’t like being impolite, nor immature…which is what I think ignoring someone is. I at least think we should be civil to one another at work. Not friendly, but civil. It’s ackward when he glares at me when other people are around…like what does that solve? And, it’s hard not to say anything to any of my co-workers when he’s weird like that and they ask ?’s…since they know we used to be friends.

 

However, I don’t want to make matters worse by e-mailing either. Thoughts?

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