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Married man and girl at work


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Old 7th August 2009, 2:11 AM   #1
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Married man and girl at work

Let me give you a little background, I have been with my wife for 7 years married for 2 and I have a 6 month old son. My wife and I fight all the time about the stupidest things. Our sex life sucks, no matter what I do she is not interested in sex of any way shape or kind.

Now with my problem, Their is a girl at work thats married and she has been making subtile hints that she likes me. The other day we get to talking about things and Come to find out we BOTH have had a thing for each other for over a year. We start talking about deep stuff, like she named her vibrator my middle name. She I a very sexual person as am I and we both dont know what to do. I have never cheated on a girlfriend or wife ever. I am stongly considering it. I know it will destroy my wife, when she finds out.

I just want to kiss her and see if anything is their between us......

Please help me make the right decision. Thanks
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Old 7th August 2009, 2:31 AM   #2
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You have already decided what you are going to do, and I doubt any one of us here would convince you to do otherwise. All we can do is tell you that it will end in an ugly shambles, but people never go into affairs thinking of that part. Only the good stuff. They sorely regret not thinking about the consequences before they got started.

If you really are on the fence, and genuinely don't want to start an affair then tell you wife what you posted here. The sh*t will hit the fan, but I guarantee you it won't hit as hard as it would when she finds out about an affair after the fact. Betrayed spouses when asking 'what to do' are nearly invariably told to 'expose the affair'. That means:

The married girl's husband will be contacted
The married girl's family will be contacted
The HR department of your work will be contacted
Your family will be told
Your extended family will be told
All of your peers will be told
All of your family friends will be told

Now, that said - think of what you stand to lose. You sure you want to risk all of that?

If you do want to risk it and your marriage and life with your wife means that little to you, then just divorce. Divorce isn't easy, but it is a lot more simple than what you will go through being busted in an affair.
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Old 7th August 2009, 3:57 PM   #3
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First, I think you need to admit to yourself that it's not your rocky marriage that's making you want to cheat. It's your attraction to this woman.

If you truly want to stop this before it starts, you have to tell your wife (who may I remind you is 7 months postpartum but I'm sure you knew that).

I suspect you'll go for it anyway, though. Just from the sound of your post. So good luck. See you in a few weeks/months when the proverbial crap has hit the fan.

p.s. Now that I'm done flaming you. I suggest you go read my thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...=186999&page=4 .

I avoided the same huge mistake you're about to make. Good luck.
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Old 8th August 2009, 4:00 AM   #4
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Mann just bang her and get it over with. Just make sure you come up with a good aliby because that could end up being the most expensive p#$$y you'd ever get.
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Old 8th August 2009, 4:03 AM   #5
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I was just joking in my above post. I don't want to help ruin someone's life. That's what you will do if you cheat. My father used to have a good job making $80,000 but had an affair at work, tried to escape everything by moving out without telling my mom, and then his life has been on a downward spiral since then. His job found out about it later on and he lost his security license and lost his job. He turned to drugs, alcohol, and got so bad to the point where he now can't find a job. He now lives with my grandmother (his mother) and lost all of his friends, most family members hardly speak to him and is probably the lonliest man in the world. Trust me, it ain't worth it!

Don't forget. Not tryin to throw the bible at cha but thou'll shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. No good will come out of it. A 10 second orgasm for a lifetime of pain? You'd better let your wife know if you're seriously considering doing this.

Last edited by greystone08; 8th August 2009 at 4:10 AM..
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Old 8th August 2009, 5:08 AM   #6
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Try to fix your marriage and if you can't get a divorce. Under no circumstances should you get involved with a married woman though. You might think it is just a quick thrill but she will view you as her savior from her horrible marriage. She probably feels like her husband is emotionally distant or some crap like that and you have awoken her sexuality and made her feel desired. Just read some stories on here about cheating wives and you will see what I am talking about. She will become obsessed with you plus you might have a bitter husband after you.
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Old 8th August 2009, 6:59 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
Please help me make the right decision. Thanks

You already made a decision, and right and wrong is in the eye of the beholder. Go have sex with her already.
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Old 8th August 2009, 9:40 AM   #8
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Try to fix your marriage and if you can't get a divorce. Under no circumstances should you get involved with a married woman though. You might think it is just a quick thrill but she will view you as her savior from her horrible marriage. She probably feels like her husband is emotionally distant or some crap like that and you have awoken her sexuality and made her feel desired. Just read some stories on here about cheating wives and you will see what I am talking about. She will become obsessed with you plus you might have a bitter husband after you.
never mind
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Old 8th August 2009, 10:05 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
I just want to kiss her and see if anything is their between us......
I think you already know that there is something between the two of you as you and her have already expressed this to each other. If you hate your sex life with your wife you should ask for a divorce and then date some single women. Not only will you destroy your family by having an affair but you will destroy this woman's family as well. You don't know how her husband will react when he finds out - could be dangerous. I think you should tell your wife how you feel and you are so sex starved that you are contemplating having an affair. That should wake her up and you will probably see an improvement in your sex life. I bet she doesn't want to lose you. Good luck.
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Old 8th August 2009, 11:19 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
Let me give you a little background, I have been with my wife for 7 years married for 2 and I have a 6 month old son. My wife and I fight all the time about the stupidest things. Our sex life sucks, no matter what I do she is not interested in sex of any way shape or kind.

Now with my problem, Their is a girl at work thats married and she has been making subtile hints that she likes me. The other day we get to talking about things and Come to find out we BOTH have had a thing for each other for over a year. We start talking about deep stuff, like she named her vibrator my middle name. She I a very sexual person as am I and we both dont know what to do. I have never cheated on a girlfriend or wife ever. I am stongly considering it. I know it will destroy my wife, when she finds out.

I just want to kiss her and see if anything is their between us......

Please help me make the right decision. Thanks
Humm.. methink this is already a full blown EA..(if not already physical)...
I have no advice.. you WILL do what you WANT to do anyway...

I just see several possibilities:

She might fall head over heels for you and you won't? (don't forget.. you are colleagues)

You might fall head over heels for her and she won't? '' ''

You might just have an A without leaving your respective partners... and be happy for the time being.

You might fall for each other and leave your partners (could be expensive PLUS it is much harder when children are involved).

Etc.. etc...

Or maybe just one advice: if you have no intention of leaving your wife.. just make sure she doesn't find out.. it will hurt her very much.. also make sure you can trust this woman.
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Old 8th August 2009, 12:14 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
She I a very sexual person as am I and we both dont know what to do.
Yeah, EVERYBODY'S sexual when they're horny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
We start talking about deep stuff, like she named her vibrator my middle name.
Yeah that's deep all right. C'mon man, you can't be serious about this!! Sexuality isn't that deep or significant. It's a very primitive, albeit powerful, drive in all beasts of the earth. It definitely doesn't separate us from the animals.

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Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
I have never cheated on a girlfriend or wife ever. I am stongly considering it. I know it will destroy my wife, when she finds out.
Now this is what DOES separate us from the animals!! That's an admirable achievement harley, especially for a man. (I'm dead serious.) It speaks to good character and self-discipline. Do you really want to break that record? Cheating makes your life infinitely more complicated, and if revealed it can devastate those you love - not only your W but also your family and friends. It's not a beneficial path for anyone to embark on. It will bring great pain to everyone involved, and is definitely not worth the sexual satisfaction you wish to achieve.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 10harley View Post
I just want to kiss her and see if anything is their between us......
You already know there's an attraction there; a kiss won't help you discover anything new here. I know that's what you want to do, and I'm not knocking you for that desire. But it won't solve the problem, which is that your W is sexually starving you. And she will continue to do so, unless you put your foot down and communicate to her that this situation is intolerable for you, and it MUST change in order for you to continue to stay married to her.

You don't want to go down this path you are considering!! You've got to find another way.
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Old 8th August 2009, 9:55 PM   #12
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If you cheat, be prepared to lose your wife and 6 month old son. Is throwing away your marriage, your family life worth some hot sex on the side?

I'm sure your wife is tired, not saying that it's right for her to be refusing sex all the time, but I bet if you talked to her, was completely honest and told her how unhappy you are and how close you are to cheating, she would wake up and put in more effort.

I suggest you get the grandparents to take your son for a sleepover (that is, if he isn't still breastfeeding and not on the bottle) and take your wife out for a special evening.

What efforts have you put in to help her out? To make her feel loved and needed? Bought her flowers? Taken the kid for afew hours so she can sleep, or go out on her own?

This goes both ways and it isn't just about sex. Each of you have to listen and communicate your needs, respecfully! Arguing over stupid stuff is not worth it.

If you feel you don't love her anymore, then tell her you want a divorce and shared custody, that way you can date this OW and do whatever you want. Just don't cheat and betray your wife. That's low.
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Old 8th August 2009, 9:59 PM   #13
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I just want to kiss her and see if anything is their between us......
This is what baffled my mind. Have you forgotten you're married? Forget your marriage vows? You could be suffering from the 7 year itch.

FOCUS that energy into your wife and reconnect with her. Forget this horny OW who seems to have NO problem so far crossing lines with you and helping you possibly cheat on your wife, knowing FULL WELL that you have a 6 month old at home. GUILT TRIP coming ---> THINK of your son too...You're a family man yet you're doing something really selfish and something that could easily ruin a stable and happy home for your child.

It's your choice. And yes, cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
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Old 9th August 2009, 10:54 AM   #14
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If you cheat, be prepared to lose your wife and 6 month old son. Is throwing away your marriage, your family life worth some hot sex on the side?

I'm sure your wife is tired, not saying that it's right for her to be refusing sex all the time, but I bet if you talked to her, was completely honest and told her how unhappy you are and how close you are to cheating, she would wake up and put in more effort.

I suggest you get the grandparents to take your son for a sleepover (that is, if he isn't still breastfeeding and not on the bottle) and take your wife out for a special evening.

What efforts have you put in to help her out? To make her feel loved and needed? Bought her flowers? Taken the kid for afew hours so she can sleep, or go out on her own?

This goes both ways and it isn't just about sex. Each of you have to listen and communicate your needs, respecfully! Arguing over stupid stuff is not worth it.

If you feel you don't love her anymore, then tell her you want a divorce and shared custody, that way you can date this OW and do whatever you want. Just don't cheat and betray your wife. That's low.
To the OP, Listen man, just send the kid away and tie up your wife and take what's yours... wait, she will sue you for rape! Nevermind, go have an affair.

But seriously, You would be crazy to talk about it with your wife, she is not interested in your sex staved situation that she created. She will take half your stuff. You think she would consider improving the sex? You got to be kidding. Go get a clean hooker with not strings.
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