Who Do Men Treat Better?

[Jersey Shortie]

Recently there have been alot of male public figures in the lime light for cheating on their wives. (I personally find it discouraging because it just shows how many men that you thought were good men end up cheating on the one person that they are suppose to be there most for). My question is, do you think men treat their wives or their mistresses better? Because it seems to me that men treat their mistresses better then they do their own wives or committed respectable girlfriends.

[D-Lish]

it just shows how many men that you thought were good men

 

Lol, since when is it taken for granted political figures are good people?

 

Whom do they treat better? Ultimately, themselves.

[Jersey Shortie]

I didn't say political people were "good" people by default. Alot of the men, some of them infact not political, had reputations for being good family men or doing alot for their community.

[clv0116]

.... committed respectable girlfriends.

 

What's a committed respectable girlfriend? Sounds like a sort of oxymoron to me. The whole idea of a girlfriend is that you haven't decided it's gonna work out yet.

[D-Lish]

I didn't say political people were "good" people by default. Alot of the men, some of them infact not political, had reputations for being good family men or doing alot for their community.

 

I'm still saying it doesn't mean anything. Good reputations, being active in the community, loving animals, attending church, heading a church, blah, blah, blah.

 

Despite reputations and appearances, it doesn't surprise me in the least to hear affairs have happened. I think a lot of people over-compensate in other areas to make up for darker indulgences.

 

Back to the original question- I'm still saying that these people consider themselves above both their family and their mistress's. Both the wife and the mistress serve a purpose, it's "what can you do for me".

[Jersey Shortie]

What's a committed respectable girlfriend? Sounds like a sort of oxymoron to me. The whole idea of a girlfriend is that you haven't decided it's gonna work out yet.

 

I was trying to find a way to described a real girlfriend oppesssed to a girlfriend on the side that a man would be cheating with.

 

 

I'm still saying it doesn't mean anything. Good reputations, being active in the community, loving animals, attending church, heading a church, blah, blah, blah.

 

Despite reputations and appearances, it doesn't surprise me in the least to hear affairs have happened. I think a lot of people over-compensate in other areas to make up for darker indulgences.

 

 

I would have to disagree with some of your assertion here. I don't think its a matter of people over-compensating to make up for their "darker indulgences". I don't think people get into a position of power in doing good for their community so that they can have affairs. I do think there is a certain amount of wanting to portray an imagine of who they wished they were compared to who they really are. Which to me, is different.

 

And I think most people will find a certain amount of shock when people with good reputations that lead lives of community service and have themselves made comments about how important family is, are surprised when someone comes out of the woodwork about being deceitful to their family. No one said that just because you love animals means you won't cheat on your wife. It's just surprising and disappointing when it happens. And lately, it seems to be happening alot where alot of male public figures have been found compromising themselves. I am sure that alot of men in real life also have their wives and families snowed about their loyatly.

[Thaddeus]

Let's remember that, while these men cheated on their wives, the girlfriends in the equation knew these men were married but had no hesitation whatsoever in bedding a married man. The girlfriends are hardly innocent parties.

 

But to the point:

 

Even though the men cheated on their wives, I think they actually treat their wives better than their girlfriends. After all, in pretty much every case after it was found out, the men dumped the girlfriend and went back to the wife. The girlfriends got what they wanted - the sex, the companionship, the presents, access to money and all the rest. When the affair became public, that relationship ended and those girls are probably out pursuing other married men, while the man is back with his wife.

[Jersey Shortie]

I agree that these women choose to cheat with these men. But I think the bigger responsiblity is to the party that is married. And alot of these men seem to be cheating with women younger then their own partner. Again another message about how little regard women receive.

 

Although I disagree with you that just because these men dump their girlfriends to go back to their wives that that means they are treating their wives better. He is after all, no prize and at this point, him now choosing his wife only after being found out isn't saying too much for him or his wife.

[stillafool]

Recently there have been alot of male public figures in the lime light for cheating on their wives. (I personally find it discouraging because it just shows how many men that you thought were good men end up cheating on the one person that they are suppose to be there most for). My question is, do you think men treat their wives or their mistresses better? Because it seems to me that men treat their mistresses better then they do their own wives or committed respectable girlfriends.

 

 

Well let's see:

 

Mistress gets: Dinners, sex, vacation (maybe), gifts (maybe).

 

Wife gets: Dinners, sex, vacation(s), gifts, kids, house, health insurance, car, financial security, family, inheritance and top priority.

[stillafool]

I agree that these women choose to cheat with these men. But I think the bigger responsiblity is to the party that is married. And alot of these men seem to be cheating with women younger then their own partner. Again another message about how little regard women receive.

 

Although I disagree with you that just because these men dump their girlfriends to go back to their wives that that means they are treating their wives better. He is after all, no prize and at this point, him now choosing his wife only after being found out isn't saying too much for him or his wife.

 

His choice was always his wife, he was just getting something extra on the side because he could. Of course these guys cheat with younger women because "youth" is very attractive. Women will do the same.

[Thaddeus]

I agree that these women choose to cheat with these men. But I think the bigger responsiblity is to the party that is married. And alot of these men seem to be cheating with women younger then their own partner. Again another message about how little regard women receive.

Playing the misogyny card cuts no ice with me.

 

The girlfriends of these married men have a choice. They can respect the man, his family, his marriage and avoid sexual contact with them, or they can have an affair. It's their choice.

 

While I agree that it takes a special kind of weakness for a married man to fall in bed with the first hot number that strolls his way, fact is that the mistress has to make a conscious choice to bed him.

 

Again another message about how little regard these women give married men.

[tanbark813]

This is yet another thread where you're making false assumptions about men and then extrapolating upon those false assumptions.

[2sure]

Regrettably, I have in the past been both OW and wife several times over.

 

As OW I received gifts from MM who had nothing else they could give me. For example, I couldn't have Christmas Mornings so he bought me a car, he couldn't be there for me when I needed him so to show me he cared he would pay..whatever would make my life easier. I know some people will see this as a kind of prostitution but what else really can a MM do to show he cares? If I offer my affection, loyalty, availability, my ear, etc...and he cannot offer any of those traditional things....

 

I can not understand OW who offer MM so much and have absolutely no sign or advantage of MM's limited show of affection or commitment. He comes over once a week for an hour and calls everyday? Please.

 

Anyway...the thing is:

 

OW is OPTIONAL. Wife is not. Thats the difference. And you have to know that. Every time you are unhappy with him and want to complain you have to remember thats not what you're there for. You are optional.

[Jersey Shortie]

His choice was always his wife, he was just getting something extra on the side because he could. Of course these guys cheat with younger women because "youth" is very attractive. Women will do the same

 

His choice was always himself. How you can even say that when he cheated on his wife and completely disrespected her is byond me. Of course these guys cheat with younger women? Wow. I mean, don't even get married if thats what you think.

 

 

 

Playing the misogyny card cuts no ice with me.

 

The only one playing the misogyny card here is you.

 

 

The girlfriends of these married men have a choice. They can respect the man, his family, his marriage and avoid sexual contact with them, or they can have an affair. It's their choice.

 

Just so I am undestanding correctly, you are saying it's their choice that the man decides to cheat?

 

While I agree that it takes a special kind of weakness for a married man to fall in bed with the first hot number that strolls his way, fact is that the mistress has to make a conscious choice to bed him.

 

What does that have to do with a man's responsiblity towards his family?

Again another message about how little regard these women give married men.

 

This is yet another thread where you're making false assumptions about men and then extrapolating upon those false assumptions.

 

So you don't think men treat their mistresses better?

[tanbark813]

So you don't think men treat their mistresses better?

 

Nope. Some might. Some don't. A lot of men don't even have mistresses. And "male public figures in the lime light" is a very skewed and very narrow demographic on which to base a theory.

[Thaddeus]

The only one playing the misogyny card here is you.

Oh, really?

Again another message about how little regard women receive.

Just so I am undestanding correctly, you are saying it's their choice that the man decides to cheat?

It's their choice that a man decides to cheat with them.

What does that have to do with a man's responsiblity towards his family?

A man does have responsibilities towards his family. Who's going to argue that?

 

And the mistress has a responsibility too. She cannot control him, but she can control herself. She may not be able to stop him from having an affair, but she can stop him from having an affair with her.

 

Look, point is that both parties have to take responsibilities for their actions. Should a man cheat? No. Full stop. Should a woman pursue a married man? No. Full stop.

 

This whole "men=bad, women=victim" assumption goes nowhere.

 

But the point remains: When the affair is discovered, it's usually (though not exclusively) the case whereby the affair ends and the man ends up back with his wife. Now, why that takes place is another thread entirely (divorce laws which financially destroy the male may play a part), but that seems to be the general rule.

[Taramere]

I think a man who's keeping his options open by playing a few women along (whether wife and girfriend or girlfriend and f*ck buddy) probably quantifies the treatment he dishes out to a particular woman according to a calculation based on the total sum of the values of the following variables at the time he is treating (or not treating) her.

 

1. Sexual attraction to the woman

2. Trust in her

3. Reliance on her

4. Likelihood that she will walk away if he doesn't treat her well

5. Perception of the availability of other "as good or better" options available to him

6. Assets (both tangible and intangible) that he will lose if the relationship ends

7. Perception (whether valid or tainted by his subjective judgement) of her level of intelligence

8. Perception of the woman's self esteem. Linked to this, his perception of what she's liable to put up with from him. Linked to that what she's already put up with from him.

9. Guilt

[grogster]

Treatment is a matter of perception. An unmarried OW may be lavished with gifts and alpha sex but feel unfairly treated by her MM who won't leave his wife and family for her.

 

While the BS will feel ill-treated based on the infidelity and all that the betrayal entails. The wife has been emotionally and sexually eclipsed, and she'll never feel better treated than the OW.

 

So who is treated the best? The MM, of course. He has the legitimacy that marriage and family bestow coupled with hot, illicit sex with the OW. He is both inlaw and outlaw.

[Jersey Shortie]

Look, point is that both parties have to take responsibilities for their actions. Should a man cheat? No. Full stop. Should a woman pursue a married man? No. Full stop.

 

This whole "men=bad, women=victim" assumption goes nowhere.

 

But the point remains: When the affair is discovered, it's usually (though not exclusively) the case whereby the affair ends and the man ends up back with his wife. Now, why that takes place is another thread entirely (divorce laws which financially destroy the male may play a part), but that seems to be the general rule.

 

The only one I consider the victim is the married woman that wasn't cheating. And I personally think the greater responsibilty goes to the person cheating that has the family then it does to the single person who is sleeping with the already commited person. While I don't think what they are doing is right, I hold the person with the responsiblity of the family to a higher commitment level.

 

I guess I don't get why you think it's so great that the man goes back to the wife, for whatever reason. The man already degraded his own wife by sleeping with another woman. At this point, him going back to his wife means very little. Certainly doesn't mean he is treating her right *now*, after the fact.

[GorillaTheater]

Treatment is a matter of perception. An unmarried OW may be lavished with gifts and alpha sex but feel unfairly treated by her MM who won't leave his wife and family for her.

 

While the BS will feel ill-treated based on the infidelity and all that the betrayal entails. The wife has been emotionally and sexually eclipsed, and she'll never feel better treated than the OW.

 

So who is treated the best? The MM, of course. He has the legitimacy that marriage and family bestow coupled with hot, illicit sex with the OW. He is both inlaw and outlaw.

 

The best answer on the thread. Taking the betrayal as a whole, it doesn't seem to matter very much which woman is "treated" better.

[clv0116]

I was trying to find a way to described a real girlfriend oppesssed to a girlfriend on the side that a man would be cheating with.

 

Who decides which GF is 'real' and which is not? What if a guy has 5 girlfriends? How many are real?

[Jersey Shortie]

Who decides which GF is 'real' and which is not? What if a guy has 5 girlfriends? How many are real?

 

Who cares if a man is dating 5 women that all know about each other. This is about situations when a man is clearly dating or married to one woman but going behind her back to be with other women.

[carhill]

The correct answer is his dog

[clv0116]

Who cares if a man is dating 5 women that all know about each other.

 

Who said they know about each other? Why should spending time with a man entitle a woman to know every detail of his personal life?

[stillafool]

His choice was always himself. How you can even say that when he cheated on his wife and completely disrespected her is byond me. Of course these guys cheat with younger women? Wow. I mean, don't even get married if thats what you think.

 

I don't even know what you are talking about? I'm on the side of the wife. I am saying his "major" choice was always his wife. Yes men cheat with younger women because, sorry - youth is attractive. Not to just men but women also! That's a fact. And, I am married, thank you!!!

 

 

 

 

Just so I am undestanding correctly, you are saying it's their choice that the man decides to cheat?

 

No, what she is saying is women have a choice to respect themselves and other women and not skank around with someone else's man much less their husband!

 

What does that have to do with a man's responsiblity towards his family?

 

Nothing. But she isn't talking about the man's responsibility she is talking about women's responsibility to be decent human beings towards other women.