nycelodean Posted January 2, 2003 Share Posted January 2, 2003 I would like to get a sense of what people think about age differences in older woman/younger man couples: How much is too much of an age difference? My previous boyfriend is in his 60's, I'm in my mid 30's, and my current boyfriend is 24. My family thought the previous was too old and now I'm getting grief for the younger one. Thanks for the input! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 2, 2003 Share Posted January 2, 2003 As long as you're happy in the relationships, that's all that matters. However, as a practical matter if you want children you have to consider the older man's age. You don't want a 15 year old teenager with an 85 year old daddy. You also have to understand that the older man may not be able to get it up or last very long about the time you're really wanting to get down and to business. You have to consider the maturity level of the younger man. Also consider that when you start aging, there are good chances he will stray on you (just reality, nothing personal). You always have to think about the future in matters like this. Otherwise, if you get along well, have fun and have lots in common...no problem. My best advice is to go out with men who are your age or older by no more than eight to ten years max. The younger ones are still growing up. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBillyT Posted January 2, 2003 Share Posted January 2, 2003 I can't really say how much is too much of an age different. To me age doesn't really matter anyways. It more about your love for him and his love for you. I dated a guy who was 8 years older than me. Other people had a problem with it but I didn't. I was just graduating and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life when he was helping me decide. But that's fine. It's about how you and the guy feels. Because love don't need an age limit. If you love him and he love you then fine. But don't used the person. ANd don't break or put a crack in the persons heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 3, 2003 Share Posted January 3, 2003 Tony brought up some very valid points. The only thing I would add to it is...sometimes age really IS just a number. Personality and Maturity add into this. However, as another 24 year old, let me tell you that most guys my age are incredibly immature and will drive you insane. I perfer older guys bc they already have the things few guys my age can even concieve...figured out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted January 4, 2003 Author Share Posted January 4, 2003 I wanted to thank everyone former and future, for your feedback. Wanted to point out however, to Tony: 1) I look at least ten years younger; the 24 year old looks about five years older and is not your typical 24 year old; the 60 year old looks about ten years younger, and absolutely has no problem "getting it up", has quite a strong sex drive, stronger than the 24 year old who has hangups about sex. 2) After thinking about the age thing, I've come to the conclusion that women should be able to date down if they are expected to date up. Cynthia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 MOST guys my age REALLY dont get it! Good luck!!! Oh and by the way, who cares how old you guys "look." It's really not anyone's business...if they accept you or not. All that matters is if you two "click" TOGETHER. It is my opinion that if someone isn't willing to support me no matter what, they aren't a true friend and don't deserve to be in my life anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Dolly Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Originally posted by nycelodean How much is too much of an age difference? My previous boyfriend is in his 60's, I'm in my mid 30's, and my current boyfriend is 24. Wow! you must be very bold, accept my compliments! I used to date with older guys than me, approx. 10-25 years older... and got problems when my good friend of 22 yo (I am 26) asked me to date. I just could not imagine our relations though I liked him because I always felt like his elder sister and did not feel any sexual attraction Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted January 9, 2003 Author Share Posted January 9, 2003 ALLY: You are right that age difference, given that it's within legal and decent means, is noone's business. I pointed out the looks issue to state that social opinions of others can and do interfere and place strains on a relationship. Evenif it's noone's business, a relationship has more chances of succeeding the less social strain exist. What don't you think guys your age "get"? May I comment that I think you have a cute personality? DOLLY: I'm not bold, usually. I'm shy, actually. The 24 year old is a college friend when I was a reentry student. He had no idea I was much older, and after having wonderful evenings with him, including with his family, lately, I finally told him which felt awkward. It's my brother who gave me grief over the age difference, and my take on it is that my younger brother would rather I not date anyone younger than he is because it threatens the dynamic in our relationship. CYNTHIA Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 It has been my experience that guys my age dont get MANY things. 1) Most guys have no idea what to do in bed. They think that the female "Love button" works like the elevator button...and some get offended if you try to "teach" them. 2) Many of them don't want anything significant, aside from sex, and when that's the case they don't communicate that that is their intention. 3) Communication is a big thing that guys my age haven't figured out yet. I guess they are afraid of PMS or something. They aren't usually direct, will not voice their intentions, or even explain to you why they might want to break up...if you get the pleasure of them telling you that breaking up is what they want in the first place. 4) They haven't yet reached the point in their life where they are older...and see that most women "their" age are now married, divorced, and most all have luggage. So they haven't yet learned that what "nice" girls they were once surrounded by, are a rareity that should be cherished...and should have been cherished then. 5) They really haven't figured out how NOT to piss a woman off either with the stupid things...which makes #2 even more difficult. Like not getting why you can only watch him play Playstation 2 for 30 minutes to an hour without getting irritated. Those kinda things... Granted, not all guys my age are like this...but the ones that aren't are usually taken anyway, so they dont count. PS Thank you so much for your complement! It made my day!! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 If YOU are uncomfortable with the age difference - then its too much of a difference. If you are comfortable than there is no problem -- no matter what anyone else thinks. My ex-sister is now married to someone who is several years younger than her oldest daughter! But hey, whatever floats your boat! Link to post Share on other sites
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