Shygirl15 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I was wondering how common is it for divorced or separated men to do activities like shop for groceries, shovel snow, cut grass on weekly basis, for a woman they divorced or about to divorce? Would you do it if your ex asked you to help out? Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 My ex- husband (well papers not final) and I grab a beer ocassionally and do a few things together here and there but we have a dog that we share custody and that keeps us attached in some form. I'm in a commited relationship w someone though...So to answer your question yes it happens quiet often and anytime he asks me for help or the other way around he is always there...we are friends and it is very doable for some people while others never talk to each other again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shygirl15 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 MSue, is the guy you're in relationship with okay with that? I never had a problem with my BF running errands for his wife, but during lunch with a group of co-workers today, I casually mentioned that he shovelled snow at his wife's house on Tuesday and everybody thought it was very absurd. It felt a little awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I sometimes pick up milk for my kids on the way home dropping them off. So, in a way, it's also for their Mom and that's where the request comes from. I wouldn't be so petty to tell my kids that their Mom can go and get milk herself , that would be silly. But then, I don't have a g/f, so there isn't someone to take issue with my decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shygirl15 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 Very understandable to me. However when I spoke to my sister, she asked me a valid question; that will I still be okay if we moved in together and he still continues to shovel snow every now and then and be on the roster for cutting grass every Sunday? She feels that whatever position I have now on this issue should continue even when we move in together. I honestly don't have a problem with it now but I'm sure I will not like it to continue when we live together. Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 My BF is fine sometimes and sometimes not...but I don't pay attention...it is what it is...I am in no way shape or form in love with my ex-H but enjoy catching up and his help when I need ...if you don't have a problem with it and you are secure of yourself and your relationship...who cares!!! But you may want to be careful who you share it with cause people are judgemental...and will think your nuts or stupid or whatever the heck they feel like...it is possible that you may change your mind when you move in...but worry about the here and now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shygirl15 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Great advice there, MSue thanks a lot. Thing is, we'll start living together very soon so I can't help but think about these things and how to handle them best. I will bring it up with him and see what he has to say about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts