CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Looking at the thread about why men date some women and settle down with others, it was brought up that men want to settle down with a woman who cooks. How true is this? Would you date a girl that did not cook and had little interest to learn? Is that really a deal breaker for most men? If so then I am screwed! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I'd be fine with a woman who appreciates my cooking and took me out to dinner once in awhile. The important thing is appreciation, and that works both ways. My wife and I both love to cook, but I was cooking and hosting parties for a couple decades before I met her. Not a deal-breaker for me by any stretch. 3 billion minus one Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I'm also screwed.. as I don't cook... I just spoke to a guy from a dating site... and I told him I hate to cook.. didn't seem to matter to him.. I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, don't cook.. but I scr*ew like no one else.. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Na, you're not screwed- you can learn easily! I know my recent ex was very much into being with a woman who nurtured him, made his meals and doted on him. I guess I didn't really mind that because I have a tendancy to nurture. I have also dated guys that love to cook and do their own cleaning. I think it is an individual thing. If you met a guy that valued the cooking thing, I am sure you'd learn to compromise. ONLY as long as he was worthy of such compromise. That's my view of a relationship- when you love someone, it's essential to try and fulfill each others needs. I really like it when a guy will do things like take my car to the mechanic or other traditional guy things. I can and do take care of those things myself- but I'd gladly cook or clean if it was a fair trade off. Don't tell anyone I said that! lol. You are never going to lose a man because you can't cook. If you think it's something you'd like, practice and see if you like it! Link to post Share on other sites
kashmir Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I'm just wondering why some women don't cook. It seems like they're even proud to establish that fact... I think in these days, it's a bit hypocritical for the man to want a woman who cooks when he doesn't cook himself, but when the man cooks I think it's 100% reasonable for him to want a woman who cooks. Cooking is not a burden that's assigned to the female gender. Stop looking at it like that! It's a very useful skill for anyone! And I don't care if you're all into your career - everyone should have time to cook. In many ways it's healthier since it allows you to have more control over your diet, but it's also much less expensive than always eating out. So yes, cooking would be a deal breaker for me, not because I expect to come home, sit in my chair, smoke my pipe, and have my wife cook for me, but because I feel it's a necessity for everyone to have, and there's no reason for a woman not to learn how to cook. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I believe I was the one who made the cooking comment, and while I enjoy home cooking as much as the next guy it's not meant to be literal to that degree. I meant it as shorthand for a much more complex concept that's probably best summarized as "taking on a traditional female role in the relationship" more than anything so specific as preparing meals. Link to post Share on other sites
joeLove Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Those who say they can't cook, is it because they don't know how to do it or because they don't want to learn how to do it? Cooking is really easy to learn... If you take an hour every week end, one can become a good cook within a couple of months ... Also, one can ask their parents (mother) for hints and tips ... and it would go even faster ... To me, being able to cook is not really a matter of can ... but want ... Link to post Share on other sites
boxing123 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 You have to eat 3 times a day for the rest of your lives. If you have children, they have to eat. Eating processed/microwaved garbage leads to fat people. Same for fast food. So, I feel it is important. If you want the man to cook for you, then you cut the grass, fix things, lift things, pay for going out to eat, etc. I never understood "I can't cook". men are not asking for gourmet meals. Boil some potatoes, make some rice, a salad, some meat, etc. Not rocket science. If a woman claims she can't cook, then what can she do if she can barely feed herself. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 If a woman claims she can't cook, then what can she do if she can barely feed herself. She uses her excellent education and earning power to pay someone else to do it for her, like the pool boy, gardener, mechanic, plumber, etc, etc. Gotta love the modern world Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 what about those of us (women) who want to cook but just can't? I would love to be a better cook. I envy my girlfriends who can. I am absolutely HORRIBLE at it! Just last week, I invented a new recipe I named "Spaghetti and Meatglass". I tried to make spaghetti and meatballs for the old man. Like.. real meat balls. Did everything according to the recipe. But, instead of boiling the water for the pasta, I turned the wrong burner on (I have a glass top stove so it's just a flat surface) and heated up the glass baking dish I used for broiling the meatballs and it shattered all over. Including shooting shards of glass into the pan with the sauce. ugh. some of us just suck at this! Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 If a woman claims she can't cook, then what can she do if she can barely feed herself. Order in I'd imagine. Or those weird microwave meals that actually smell nice but look neither edible or appetizing. Even the biggest moron on the planet knows how to use a microwave. My mother always says she can't cook, actually she can and is rather fantastic at it. She just doesn't like to. She only had to learn because she had a young family. I think it's having the drive to do it rather than any particular abilities. But I can cook and love doing so, so maybe I'm wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
boxing123 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 True, same for men. You have to be the guy that can fix things, or afford to pay someone else to fix them. I think the biggest turn off is when someone says "I can't". No offense meant to anyone on the thread, but I think "Does she have a very low IQ, or just lazy?" Like asking a guy to put air in your tires, and he says "I can't". When I date I run into very few women that can cook. I really think the ones that do are taken, more often than not. It is not only extremely practical, it sets the tone of a giving relationship. Someone actually working to create something for me. Which in turn opens up my giving side. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 My mother always says she can't cook, actually she can and is rather fantastic at it. She just doesn't like to. That's me. Can do it, and am good at it. Don't like to, though. Like anything that you HAVE to do everyday, it becomes a chore. It's the shopping that gets me. The best food is with fresh ingredients and spices. And I hate going to the grocery store. I hate finding time to shop either after work or on weekends. Actually, I dislike all kinds of shopping. Especially in the crappy winter weather we have here. When I took a year long sabbatical from work, I cooked more. But I was living in San Francisco then, and I had a little deli at the corner with fruits and veggies fresh from the farmer's market right there. Even so, I didn't really like doing it. I like to sometimes cook for people, when the mood strikes and I want to. But if it were to become expected of me every single day and taken for granted, f*ck that. And I would have zero interest in being with a man who had those kinds of expectations and desires. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 You have to eat 3 times a day for the rest of your lives. If you have children, they have to eat. Eating processed/microwaved garbage leads to fat people. Same for fast food. I agree here a little. Yes, everyone has to eat 3 times a day. I however do not cook, and I have NEVER had a weight problem. My mom barely ever cooked when I was growing up, and I have always been petite. I am 5'2 about 106lbs.... no problem there. I just have no interest at it, I want to learn, but I am just worried that I would be horrible at it. I feel like I wouldn't do a good job. I don't mind cleaning. I would love to be in a R where the guy cooks, and I clean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 You are never going to lose a man because you can't cook. I hope you're right Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I would say in the short run you won't lose a man over the no cooking thing... but on the other hand it'll be a strike against you and just one more reason to break up instead of asking you to marry him Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Much of the stuff I cook is mindless and effortless. Whenever I make fancy things the kids don't like it anyway. I think a woman who could not cook could approximate cooking to the point where the average guy would be satsified. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 Much of the stuff I cook is mindless and effortless. Whenever I make fancy things the kids don't like it anyway. I think a woman who could not cook could approximate cooking to the point where the average guy would be satsified. Give me an example of these mindless and effortless meals you are talking about here. I mean I can do hot dogs, mac and cheese, rice a roni, easy things like that. But I have never cooked a whole meal, or even meat. I have thought about taking a cooking class, but I need to find a beginners class which seems hard to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Much of the stuff I cook is mindless and effortless. Whenever I make fancy things the kids don't like it anyway. I think a woman who could not cook could approximate cooking to the point where the average guy would be satsified. when a woman says she can't cook I imagine a woman whould couldn't put togather the simplest of dishes... if you can make pasta, broccoli and chicken you can cook Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 I would say in the short run you won't lose a man over the no cooking thing... but on the other hand it'll be a strike against you and just one more reason to break up instead of asking you to marry him I mean seriously, that would make you not want to propose? I make my own money, I am independent, I am smart, I am in shape, I take care of myself, I am faithful, loving, caring, but because I do not cook they won't want to marry me? Link to post Share on other sites
Dumbledore Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Home-cooked stuff never tastes as good as McDonald's. I don't know what their secret is, but they obviously wouldn't have become one of the world's favourite restaurants if it was that easy. Give your guy a rechargeable gift card (don't forget to top it up regularly), and he'll forget all about you burning the odd morsel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 when a woman says she can't cook I imagine a woman whould couldn't put togather the simplest of dishes... if you can make pasta, broccoli and chicken you can cook I have done pasta a few times, but never chicken or broccoli. LOL I do feel pathetic, I really do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 Home-cooked stuff never tastes as good as McDonald's. I don't know what their secret is, but they obviously wouldn't have become one of the world's favourite restaurants if it was that easy. Give your guy a rechargeable gift card (don't forget to top it up regularly), and he'll forget all about you burning the odd morsel. LOL I agree here! But I grew up with my mom not cooking for me. I grew up on TV dinners, cereal, sandwiches, etc... So I am used to it. In fact my first year living in the dorms I gained weight because they had all this cooked food. I loved it, and I was not used to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 Part of the problem is that I live on my own, I do not have children. So for me it is cheaper to eat simple things like cereal, PB&J, grilled cheese, etc... It is kind of expensive to go out and buy all that is neccesary to cook a meal. For a family its cheaper to cook, but for a single person I am not too sure about that. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Home-cooked stuff never tastes as good as McDonald's. I don't know what their secret is, but they obviously wouldn't have become one of the world's favourite restaurants if it was that easy. Give your guy a rechargeable gift card (don't forget to top it up regularly), and he'll forget all about you burning the odd morsel. It's MSG. It's in all the fast food. And a lot of restaurant food. Link to post Share on other sites
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