what do you think about inter-cultural relnships

[yes]

I live in a very multicultural city full of immigrants. I am also an immigrant - i speak a language other than english at home, etc. (I came here when i was 14)

 

The issue is ... there's an opinion out there that two people cannot really connect fully unless they grew up in the same culture, speak the same language, etc... not that that's enough, but that it's necessary.

 

Indeed, i sometimes laugh at jokes in my language and i cant help thinking - damn, i wish i could share 'em with my friends, but oops - they dont speak my language!

 

anyway, i KNOW by now that i can be friends (in a loose sense - a tight aquaintance, i suppose) with people who were born n raised in a diff. culture... but what about a relationship?

 

ever since i moved here, i made a point of not getting stuck in the community of immigrants from my country... esp. i made sure not to date guys from my country - i wanted to learn english, learn about the local culture, etc.

 

and i did!

 

but now im starting to have doubts - maybe i should go out w/ guys from my country after all... we'll have SO much more in common...

 

on the other hand, i think human emotions, feelings, thoughts, - are not culture-bounded ... this is my usual opinion - i dont care where the guy is from, i only care who he is and how he acts, etc.

 

Any comments? Thanks

 

PS religion isnt an issue for me. i dont belong to any religious tradition even though i was raised in a largery christian country. I would never date a religious guy b/c of my personal beliefs anyway... So this is purely about culture... Religion is out of question ...

 

Thanks.

[Chris]

The only advice I have is that you should do what makes you happy. I have had friends who have had meaningful full relationships like you speak of. Maybe my advice is a little cloudy at this point, because I would do anything to have my relationship back, but I believe you should go for whatever you think will make you happy, and if you are happy hold on to the relationship, don't let it slip away.

I live in a very multicultural city full of immigrants. I am also an immigrant - i speak a language other than english at home, etc. (I came here when i was 14) The issue is ... there's an opinion out there that two people cannot really connect fully unless they grew up in the same culture, speak the same language, etc... not that that's enough, but that it's necessary. Indeed, i sometimes laugh at jokes in my language and i cant help thinking - damn, i wish i could share 'em with my friends, but oops - they dont speak my language! anyway, i KNOW by now that i can be friends (in a loose sense - a tight aquaintance, i suppose) with people who were born n raised in a diff. culture... but what about a relationship? ever since i moved here, i made a point of not getting stuck in the community of immigrants from my country... esp. i made sure not to date guys from my country - i wanted to learn english, learn about the local culture, etc. and i did! but now im starting to have doubts - maybe i should go out w/ guys from my country after all... we'll have SO much more in common... on the other hand, i think human emotions, feelings, thoughts, - are not culture-bounded ... this is my usual opinion - i dont care where the guy is from, i only care who he is and how he acts, etc. Any comments? Thanks PS religion isnt an issue for me. i dont belong to any religious tradition even though i was raised in a largery christian country. I would never date a religious guy b/c of my personal beliefs anyway... So this is purely about culture... Religion is out of question ... Thanks.

[exfriend]

Are you averting from men from your own culture? If you are, maybe you should start to date them. I'm saying this because I usually date outside of my culture because I feel that stereotypes of men in my culture are true (men in my culture are controlling and old fashioned). After I voiced my opinions about that subject to some of my male cousins, they pointed out that that is the wrong thing to do. So, if you haven't dated inside your culture, you should, see what it's like.

[witchbreed]

I live with my boyfriend. We live in Germany, where we both are strangers. I am Swiss and he is Welsh, we come from different society back-grounds too. Working class versus upper middle-class. There is differences in our upbringing and sometimes this has led to difficulties, like in my culture having a drink with a man does not have to mean dating, but in the English working class it does. I have on the other hand never found someone I feel so good with, I truly love and respect and trust. Different backgrounds have their ups too, broadens the horizon. But look at the personality, there is good and bad in every culture, there is oldfashioned people and modern people in all kinds of culture. Follow your own feelings. Btw I myself never got on with men from "my" own culture and society, tried, but didnt work out. On the other hand I know many people who are happy with someone of a similar background. You have to find out for yourself.