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If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with?


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I'm considering getting back together with someone I'm not really "in love" with. I've accepted that the ex I was really hung up on will never be back in the picture. And I really don't think it would be best anyway. He has proven time and time again that he is a selfish, arrogant person and could never be trusted. I guess my question is this...do you agree with the phrase "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"? I'm starting to think that being single is not better than being with someone who will at least be a trusted companion and love you a great deal. I mean the "in love" feeling goes away with most people anyway right? How important is that? Life is short and while I wish I could have my "golden years" back that one of my exes stole from me, it doesn't seem that I will be able to re-create the feelings I had then. Maybe I should just accept this and be with someone that I know really cares.

 

Thoughts?

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TogetherForever

:laugh:The only thing I know about this subject is the song about it:laugh:

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:laugh:The only thing I know about this subject is the song about it:laugh:

 

:laugh:

 

I couldn't even remember where I heard the phrase!

 

...ok nevermind with this question though. I just can't do it. I just can't force it....and I have recently met a few people that I'm interested in so I'm going to see where that goes.

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whichwayisup
I'm considering getting back together with someone I'm not really "in love" with

By doing that, you're settling. You're better off alone and waiting till the next guy comes along that you could fall inlove with.

 

It also isn't fair to be with him you if you don't love him. It's selfish of you to want him back because you can't have the ex.

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I disagree with the phrase completely. As much as being alone sucks sometimes, I prefer that to being with someone I shouldn't be with. Ultimately by doing this you would be settling and using the other party involved. No one will win. Besides, what happens later if you become "in love" with someone else? Will you stay in the relationship because it was the choice you made, or will you jump ship and end up hurting someone who admittedly cares a great deal for you?

 

Ultimately you're going to make your own choice, and if there's one thing that I'm starting to notice, people usually post with their minds made up for others to affirm that choice. I feel sorry for this guy...

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Jersey Shortie

I think if you do this, you are being unfair to yourself and especially to the man that you are "settling for".

 

I personally think the phrase: "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you are with", is not something that should be applied to your situation. I think sometimes people forget how good they have it, the grass is always greener on the other side. So it should be applied more to that type of situation.

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Ultimately you're going to make your own choice, and if there's one thing that I'm starting to notice, people usually post with their minds made up for others to affirm that choice. I feel sorry for this guy...

 

I've realized that I just can't force it. I'm scared that I will never be "in love" again though. It scares me because I want to be able to know how that feels again - in the true sense of the word. I don't want to hurt him but I do feel like I am. Reason being....I still talk to him all the time and I know that he's in love with me and I'm not with him. However I still want him around because I do care about him and can't stand the thought of not having him in my life at all. I know that it's probably leading him on though. Do I just stop talking to him? I really don't want to be selfish.

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