audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 So there's been a lot of threads lately where emotion vs. logic in the context of a relationship came up. What exactly does that mean? How does it affect things, depending on which wins out in the end or throughout the relationship? If you overthink it, seems it could be bad. If you let "feelings" dictate, could also be bad. ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 You work with everything you have. Too much of anything is often not good for you. If you allow your emotions to dominate, without any rational checks and balances, this is when you make your worst decisions in life. If you allow your rational mind to dominate everything, you can easily lose out on what life has to offer, in terms of being human. Balance is key. If it's wasted, negative emotion, you redirect it with your rational mind, to something useful or let it go, after allowing a short period to vent/rage/cry/whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Balance, yes. I am guilty of both, but I guess I'm really wondering what the "rational check and balance" constitutes. Is it that you're a single mom, trying to get kids through school, so you put a brake on dating? You lost your job and hope to recover before committing to a relationship? Other similar situations that require more focus? Does it mean that emotion is wholly irrational? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Is it that you're a single mom, trying to get kids through school, so you put a brake on dating? How much time and energy do you have? If you can spread yourself to the point of being able to juggle everything and still keep all the balls in the air, why not? If something starts to fall down, time to peel back. You lost your job and hope to recover before committing to a relationship? Once again, where are you emotionally and intellectually? Try not to overestimate your abilities. Better to promise less and deliver more. Other similar situations that require more focus? Who are you? Do you have limitless bounds of focus and energy? Does it mean that emotion is wholly irrational? Yes, emotion is wholly irrational. Your intellect is what keeps it reasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 A humorous description: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM Emotion is a motivator and marker of thought and memory IMO. Emotion in and of itself is not irrational, though it can be the impetus for irrational thought and the breakdown of logic. An eternal conundrum Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Emotion knows no boundaries. It's up to the rational mind to herd cats... Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 (edited) A humorous description: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM Emotion is a motivator and marker of thought and memory IMO. Emotion in and of itself is not irrational, though it can be the impetus for irrational thought and the breakdown of logic. An eternal conundrum Cute video. Interesting that, as a female, I can relate to the "Nothing Box." A past SO introduced me to Zen Buddhism, which I've used to learn how to quieten the mind. Does wonders for approaching life in a more calm, rational way... Since I work in a deadline driven industry, at the last minute, there truly is no room for getting emotional. But I'm wondering how we decide, in relationships, which overtakes the other without external influence e.g. meditation? Edited March 19, 2008 by audrey_1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrey_1 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 So really, do you use your logic to suppress your emotions and your emotions to suppress your logic? How do the two peacefully co-exist? What are the "types" of people that seem to lean one way or the other? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 So really, do you use your logic to suppress your emotions and your emotions to suppress your logic? How do the two peacefully co-exist? I have no idea how you balance the two. My logic tells me one thing and my emotions tell me something totally different. Sometimes, logic tells you run away, and yet you stay till the bitter end. I wish I knew how to listen to myself and do what's good for me (not for anyone else). If ever you do figure it out, please do share. Link to post Share on other sites
JerseyShortie Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 "Emotional" side pertains to letting your emotions decide your choices. Not always a bad thing in the right circumstances. "Logic" is basing your choices on factual items or items that lead to a rational conclusion. When using either side too much, you can get in trouble. There needs to be a balance between your emotional and logical sides. Women tend to error on the side of emotions and men tend to error on the side of logic. The problem is that what is logical for a man, might not really be logical for the situation at hand for both parties. He is only looking at things from one perspective, his male perspective. And what emotions a woman may feel, may not be what he is feeling at all because she is also only looking at it from one side. Men tend to think that because the are more "logical", they are right. While men might look at things more logically in subjects regarding math and science, that is far from the case when men are dealing with women. Men are no more logical when it comes to women then women are when it comes to men. So basically, "emotional logic" is more specific to women, "rational logic" is more specific to men, and both sexes are completely crazy in their own logical right. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 "Emotional" side pertains to letting your emotions decide your choices. Not always a bad thing in the right circumstances. "Logic" is basing your choices on factual items or items that lead to a rational conclusion. When using either side too much, you can get in trouble. There needs to be a balance between your emotional and logical sides. Women tend to error on the side of emotions and men tend to error on the side of logic. The problem is that what is logical for a man, might not really be logical for the situation at hand for both parties. He is only looking at things from one perspective, his male perspective. And what emotions a woman may feel, may not be what he is feeling at all because she is also only looking at it from one side. Men tend to think that because the are more "logical", they are right. While men might look at things more logically in subjects regarding math and science, that is far from the case when men are dealing with women. Men are no more logical when it comes to women then women are when it comes to men. So basically, "emotional logic" is more specific to women, "rational logic" is more specific to men, and both sexes are completely crazy in their own logical right. Well...not exactly. I tend to allow myself to be governed more by logic, than emotion, and I'm a woman. You might be confusing logic, with gender bias. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Emotion as in "spark"? I hear alot of women use that term alot. You hardly ever hear men use it. Women will say: "I really enjoy being with you and we have great chemistry, but that spark is just missing". Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrey_1 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 But how can you look at a relationship logically? Does that mean you're considering how much a potential partner (or you) makes, whether they have good genes for any future children, and stuff like that? If you let your "heart" lead you, would you end up with someone you "feel" deeply for despite all the rest? Would one be better than the other? Still trying to wrap my head around it. If someone you're dating says ... "I know I should be pursuing a serious commitment, but my logical mind (which unlike my heart has never failed/hurt me) tells me to take it one step at a time." ... how should one process that? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Raging hormones or not, you can look at a relationship logically. Step back and gauge his actions. Do they equal his words? If the two are out-of-synch and his words are what's fueling the relationship, what do you have? Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Again I agree. Actions always speak louder than words. If somone says they love you but never do the little things to show you, then do they really? Dont think so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrey_1 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 "Emotional" side pertains to letting your emotions decide your choices. Not always a bad thing in the right circumstances. "Logic" is basing your choices on factual items or items that lead to a rational conclusion. When using either side too much, you can get in trouble. There needs to be a balance between your emotional and logical sides. What could a "rational conclusion" be in a relationship between two people? Raging hormones or not, you can look at a relationship logically. Step back and gauge his actions. Do they equal his words? If the two are out-of-synch and his words are what's fueling the relationship, what do you have? His actions and words have been in sync. I've never dated someone who admittedly is operating from this "logical" perspective, so it's been a learning curve, but one I've welcomed. He is losing his job, which is (presumably) why he put on the brakes. I'm in a much better situation than he is, and I don't think his pride will allow him to make it official until he's more stable, which is fine. I'm just discussing the topic more generally out of curiosity, rather than applying it to my specific situation, though it does shed some light... Link to post Share on other sites
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