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My Fiancee works too much - I work too little. Feeling worthless/lonely.


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She just took a second job on the weekends. This puts her at 6 days (roughly 50 hours) a week. She took the job to pay off her old dept in the hopes that we may be able to buy the house we're currently renting.

 

She works hard at both jobs. She's a receptionist during the week, and she works long hours at a clinic that is always slammed with patients, often hours after she was supposed to get off. Her weekend job is a sales position in a mall, equally busy, but with the added stress of working retail.

 

I work sales too, but my job is much, much easier. Mostly I just play video games while I'm waiting for customers. Occasionally I vacuum or stock the shelves, but it's a really, really laid back job. I spend very little time actually working.

 

Now her only day off is Friday (a day I work.) She's only working weekends for the next six weeks, afterward we'll need to be in full wedding preparation mode, but... I miss her guys. This last weekend sucked. I missed her all day and when she finally got off work she was naturally tired and stressed out.

 

I feel like I'm not pulling my weight. I've applied for other, better paying jobs, but have heard nothing back. Even if I were to take a weekend job myself, it would be rather pointless as I would have to arrange child care for my daughter, which would likely cost nearly as much as I would be making at the second job.

 

My roommate and her girlfriend are spending more and more time alone together, which is cool, but it adds to the feeling of loneliness, especially in this huge new house. My daughter is keeping to herself more too. Unless I put a movie on she'll generally stay up in her room.

 

There is a huge plus to this, and that's time to focus on my artwork. I got a lot done last weekend for the first time this year, but it isn't as fulfilling as it was when I was single...

 

I don't know... I guess I just needed to rant. I wouldn't say that anything is wrong really. I have a really good life. Just a little melancholie today... Maybe stressing out about the wedding a bit. We still have so much to get done...

 

Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks :)

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I would suggest you help her out by being the person who runs the errands and does more of the cleaning for the next 6 weeks. Make sure to listen if she needs to rant about her day, maybe give her a foot rub or run a bath for her and hangout in the bathroom while she lets off steam about the ridiculous people she had to deal with. It will not go unnoticed.

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Well yesterday I cooked breakfast, drove her to work, cleaned the bathroom, brought her lunch at work, helped my daughter unpack, clean and vacuum her room, rearranged the furniture in our bedroom, stirred the crock pot periodically, assembled two computers, got some artwork done, picked her up from work, and did the dishes. Sooo.. keeping busy, yeah, but it's not the same as actually working.

 

What I really need to get done is the wedding stuff, addressing invitations and such, but it's so lame to do it by myself...

Edited by Obama08
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blind_otter
Well yesterday I cooked breakfast, drove her to work, cleaned the bathroom, brought her lunch at work, unpacked, cleaned and vacuumed my daughter's room, rearranged the furniture in our bedroom, stirred the crock pot periodically, assembled two computers, got some artwork done, picked her up from work, and did the dishes. Sooo.. keeping busy, yeah, but it's not the same actually working. Plus she asked me to do most of that stuff.

 

Well I think you're doing a great job, and what you are doing is very necessary, even if she did ask you.

 

I work in an accounting firm that is very busy from january until april 15. I work overtime almost every day (not today, hooray!) and I work on sundays. My SO picks up the slack, I ask him to get dinner ready or do chores here and there and I really really really appreciate it when he does this stuff.

 

It's the little things, O-08.

 

Do the wedding stuff, too. I know it feels lame - but in most couple the woman is left doing all that stuff herself, so you pitching in is great!

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Hmmmm... I think I'm gonna swipe her little black book during my lunch break and surprise her with the address labels tonight. It is nice having a job where I can get other things done on the clock.

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whichwayisup
Unless I put a movie on she'll generally stay up in her room.

 

An 8 or 9 year old girl shouldn't be spending alot of time alone in her room. She should be active! Instead of putting a movie in, GO out with her. Spend the day, see a movie somewhere, or take her bowling, shopping, go to the Museum or something fun for her, and for you, just to spend quality time together.

 

As for your job, well, keep looking! Something will come your way.

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An 8 or 9 year old girl shouldn't be spending alot of time alone in her room. She should be active! Instead of putting a movie in, GO out with her. Spend the day, see a movie somewhere, or take her bowling, shopping, go to the Museum or something fun for her, and for you, just to spend quality time together.

 

Still a bit too cold for most of that. Too poor for the rest :( Ice skating is free though, and while I don't have skates I take her to the park and read while she skates. She also gets some exercise on the Wii... but yeah, not the same.

 

She'd play in the rest of the house more if she didn't have to clean up each mess before making another :p

 

After breakup we'll start spending more time outside. She needs a bike...

Edited by Obama08
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whichwayisup

It's not too cold to go see a movie, or take her to a see a play, art show or something kiddy and crafty...The Zoo even would be fun. Kids are supposed to be outside, atleast when I was a kid, we had NO choice, rain or shine, cold or not, you're out there for afew hours to get fresh air and exercise... Anyway, good idea about the bike.

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By cold I mean -40. Right now it's... 18 above.

 

By poor I mean I have food in the fridge, gas in my tank, a maxed credit card and... two dollars in my wallet, with another couple bucks in spare change until payday, which will all go to bills.

 

Next time I'll have any extra money will be... Saturday April 5th. I oughta have at least $50 left over from that paycheck... enough for something fun I guess. Movie, bowling, something...

 

I really hate being poor...

 

The job I applied for (and am totally qualified for) pays literally twice what I'm making now, with full benefits, free tuition for employees spouses and kids, and paid vacations. I really want that job... but it's been more than three months now and I've heard nothing back. The listing still shows the job open though, and my application is still "pending"...

 

*sigh*

Edited by Obama08
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blind_otter

So what does she do up there to occupy her time (daughter)? Read/videogames/TV?

 

She doesn't have a PC in her room, does she? I won't allow SO's son to get on the computer without supervision. He's 10.

 

I mean - you could get on the 2 girls 1 cup site without saying your age or anything!!!

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Her computer is in the living room, and we don't watch TV in my house. Mostly she reads, doodles, and plays with her toys.

Edited by Obama08
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What about a playdate with some of her friends?
Once every couple weeks + Birthday parties. She needs to meet some neighborhood kids once it warms up a bit.

 

She loves her daycare too, and I'm friends with the people who run it, so we'll often visit after hours. They have two kids she gets along with well.

 

__________

 

I do find it a bit funny how every thread I post in quickly switches from the topic at hand to concern for the welfare of my kid. Do I really come off as that bad a father?

Edited by Obama08
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Getting the address labels done just upset her. Apparently it was something she wanted to do together :(

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