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dealing with a stalker


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I currently live in a gated-type community with my parents. The area has several nice walking trails and paved roads which I enjoy fitness walking on. I first started walking in the spring of 2007-around April. Everything was going fine, and I established a planned route.

 

Around May, I noticed while on my walk, a man walking his dogs. I thought nothing of it. I said, "Hello" waved and passed him on my walk. About a month later I saw him again as I was going to pass him. This time, he hurried his pace to match mine and we had a little bit of small talk. I was being friendly, as he lives 2 blocks form me, and he seemed decent. Basically, this was what our conversation was:

Him: Why aren't you in school? (as it was daytime)

Me: I'm in college.

Him: Oh, where, and what are you studying?

Me: school name-Nursing

Him: Oh, my daughter went to name of school, except now she's a doctor.

-By this time he's giggling like a little schoolgirl, which I thought was odd-

Him: where do you live?

Me: (I was a bit creeped out) over there (pointed in vague direction)

-he got silent-

 

We had reached the end of the road, and as I was about to turn towards home, I noticed he was following me...so I quick veered right and went on my way- he went the opposite direction-

 

 

After that, I was a bit creeped out, but I figured he was just being friendly, because he was probably lonely, as he does have a wife.

After that, whenever I would take my usual route, I would see him sitting up in his garage with his yappy dogs watching me as I walked by. After that, I changed routes.

 

In July, I needed a route change and just decided to heck with it- so i walked past his house. As usual, he was sitting in his garage (which is atop a steep hill) as I was passing, he conveniently rolled a tennis ball down the driveway trying to catch my attention to pick it up- I ignored him. I kept walking.

As I reached the end of the road, I heard a car behind me-as I turned around, I saw a car swerving back and forth...then stop at the end of the road in front of me. It was him "creeper"-he pulled over in a horizontal way in which blocked me form crossing the road. He then rolled the window down, leaned out then pointed towards my house and yelled "Want a Ride!?"...by this time, I was royally p*ssed off and scared and I screamed "NO!" stomping my foot. he laughed and drove away.

 

I am kicking myself for not calling the cops, but I was scared and my parents weren't fully aware fo the extent of this "stalking"

 

After that incident, I quit exercising altogether. I wasn't going to risk it. However, a few months later, i decided to go back to it-taking a different route...several blocks from that usual route, which is a street across the channel. Everything was fine, until the day he found my new route. After that, I took a different-he found it-vice versa.

 

It's been several months of not doing anything legally- as he hasn't touched me nor talked to me since that day he leaned out his car. however, he never ceases to find my new routes and follow the exact pattern.

 

The last straw came a week ago, when I looked out the back window onto the golf course to see him walking his dogs in back of my house. he wasn't looking at my house, but I have a feeling he knows the general location of it. I've always gone out of my way to NOT lead him to my home...

 

What should I do? is this enough to file a restraining order? The restraining order would have my name on it, and if he has my name, he will have no trouble of finding me via internet, and the order would have my home address on it...correct?

 

Please, can somebody help me. I can't handle this right now.

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I don't know that there's much you can do. In my county you have to have three documented incidents where the police were involved before you can get a restraining order.

 

I would join a gym, and be done with it. At least there, there are a lot of people around...

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Is this guy a lot older than you? eww!!!!

 

I love walking too, but it sounds like it might be agood idea to walk elsewhere and/or join a gym, at least for a few months.

 

a restraining order would be dangerous - if he's crazy he'll hunt you down, restraining order or no.

 

have you told your parents? you should at the very least for safety.

 

i used to be a big feminist and so i can understand not wanting to give up your enjoyable form of exercise. however, sometimes, you just have to "give up". or is there a neighborhood watch kind of thing? maybe you can talk to whoever heads that up.

 

filing a police report isn't a bad idea, because then you will have gone on record...

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you need to probably confront him. Not necesarily alone, but just let him know he creeps you out and that you don't need an apology or anything all you need is for him to not talk or stare at you while on your walks and that would be fine. Tell him you know he was trying to be friendly but that it would be apreciated if he would just leave you completely alone. Personaly none of this was that horible, I think your letting it get to you to much. I mean he really should have got the picture after you did that stomp the foot thing and yelled "No" when he tried to give you a ride. What state are you in that will affect the laws

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1)TELL your parents everything, involve them!

2)Definately get the police involved by talking to them and letting them know exactly what has been going on and how often you see him around you.

 

Another thing to think about doing, with your parents along your side, is talk to his wife. Let her know wtf her creepy husband has been doing. And make sure SHE knows the cops are aware of this too.

 

Hang out with friends while you exercise, you shouldn't have to stop just because of him. Don't be alone at night, always have someone with you.

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The guy, (after doing some research from the area directory) is 69 years old...and I am guessing his wife is rarely around or very ill.

 

I WILL NOT be anywhere near this creep. I do not want him to know my name, where I live, and who my parents are. He is basically, a sick person who gets joy out of making me feel scared/intimidated.

 

I have joined a gym since, but I see him walking in the back of my house (I live on a golf course). I know him name and address...but I really don't know what to tell the cops-as the car incident happened on July 17th. None of my evidence is even relevant anymore.

 

I am NOT going to talk to him ever again nor give him the time of day. He doesn't deserve it and it's just going to egg him on more.

 

I just want this creep gone.

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69 what a sexualy numbered age to be. He's some crazy old man, you shouldn't let it upset you this much. Just call the cops if theres another situation. You never really properly confronted this guy though. Oh well, try to forget about this

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xpaperxcutx

OMG creepy much?

Next time he does anything, make sure you have a cell with you to call the cops. And don't pass by his house alone next time, you never know what he might do. Definitely let your parents in on the situation just in case something were to occur in the future.

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whichwayisup

Have you told your folks about it yet? If you aren't going to call the cops and tell them what's been going on, atleast let your family know and your friends. Better to have lots of eyes watching too..

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