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friendship and relationship issues


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To cut a long story short, my best friend and I have feelings for each other. It all began at school where we started hanging out together when we were around 16, we spent all our time together and just totally clicked, however, neither of us ever told each other at the time how we felt. Fast forward a few years, and he goes away to work for a gap year, and I get a call saying he has met this girl, who soon becomes his girlfriend and 5 years later, he is still with her. Again, still said nothing of how I felt as was afraid of ruining the friendship. He then came home and he and the girlfriend moved in together and he moved away again to start college.

Later that year I was travelling around a bit looking at colleges and went to look at one near to him, so went to stay at his and girlfriends for the weekend, to catch up with my best mate, and look at the college. Anyway, me and him went out one eve (his girlfriend is a bit older than us, and not really into going out too much) and got drunk, and basically, he spilt his heart, told me he had always liked me etc, never had the courage to say and I told him I felt the same, and we ended up kissing. Felt awful the next day, and got away from his as quick as possible. We then spoke over the phone later in the week, and he said he just couldn't leave his gf because she had made so many sacrifices etc and he didn't want to break her heart - so we decided to move on and forget about it, and carry on as normal as best mates.

Then, a couple of years later - similar incident, except this time, we didn't kiss, I told him no, we had made our decision and I had met somebody else and was with him now. Again, we moved on and stayed mates.

Again, another year later, it happened again. It was the other night, and we got drunk and spoke of our regrets at not doing anything, and basically ended up just talking about everything, hugging etc - nothing else. I am still with the same person I was with last time, he is still with his girlfriend. My boyfriend is lovely, he woulddo anything for me, and up until the other night, I had pretty much accepted that this is how things will be, but these feelings for my friend just won't go away. My opinion is to perhaps cut ties with my friend, I mean, it is pretty obvious this isn't going to go away, and seeing each other make a life with someone else is tough. I mean, I kinda think that it would be easier to move on this way rather than staying friends, as it seems as if there will always be something there. Basically, we don't want to break up with our partners as both are lovely, and I guess we don't want to break their hearts - which I know is the easy way out, but I guess this way nobody gets hurt. I just don't really know what to do, as it would be hard not having my best mate not part of my life anymore, but he is always going to be more than that, regardless of whether or not anything happens or not.

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