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Why do women wear pants, but men don't wear skirts?


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RecordProducer

I know single moms of 2 or 3 kids who work hard and take care of their kids. You think "So what?"

 

I know a man who is a single father of 3 little children and works hard. You think "Wow!" Actually I don't know any men who are single fathers.

 

Why is it acceptable for a woman to act both like a mother AND a provider, but for men these two roles are exclusive? Men do contribute to parenthood greatly, but it seems like it's too hard for them to take a double role when it comes to sole custody of more than one little child.

 

I would never get divorced if divorce meant that I would get shared custody of my children. But many men don't have a problem with giving up 50% (or more) of their time with their own children.

 

If a man leaves his wife and kids, that's understandable. If a woman leaves her husband and kids, she is a monster. It seems like children are more valuable to the mother than to the father and this belief is socially acceptable. When a woman gets divorced, she has her kids on her back to take care of and support. When men divorce, they are usually only obligated to pay child support and they complain about that - is if those are not their own children!

 

I think nobody complains about this type of role-sharing, because women don't want to give up their motherhood and also don't want to give up their freedom to work. I guess the reward comes with the observation that many men marry single mothers, while many women refuse to marry men with kids, even if the kids live with the mother.

 

Some people state that women get less paid for the same job position, but I think this only has to do with the fact that women agree to smaller salaries in certain instances. Indeed, if this were entirely true, employers would only employ women and pay them less. :laugh: But if there are e.g. two math teachers with the same skills and work experience and the male one gets a higher salary than the female one then women ARE discriminated against. My father worked in Brusells, in the opera orchestra and he said that women were less paid for the very same job position, only because they were women. I think this is a saddistic and humiliating way of showing a woman that she is less worthwhile only because she is a woman. The reason why I mentioned income as an element in the role-sharing is because I think it's a consequence of it in two ways:

 

1. A single mother will settle for less before someone else takes the job, because she has to support her kids. In addition, she can't apply for jobs that invlove traveling and working long hours every day, because she has children waiting for her at home. So she is limited in terms of time.

 

2. A married woman views her salary as secondary and in her mind it's not only acceptable, but usually preferable, if she makes less than her husband. In her own eyes (and his), he would feel less of a man if she makes more money than he does. And since her world revolves around him, it's more important to her to please him than to be complately independent.

 

Any comments? Please don't give me lonely examples that confirm the opposite. If you think that IN GENERAL I described the roles falsely, I would be happy to hear your opinions.

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The woman would never give up the kid anyway. And the first six months or more, the kids specifically needs the mother, and after that, the mother is kinda already taking care of stuff, no need to rock the boat. It's also about how much slacking the mother let the father get away with.

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Your whole theam is way over Generalized. In many cases the Man will fight for custody of the Children. The courts more often then not favor the Mother in a custody fight. Often the only type of custody he can get is joint. He has to except those terms if he wants any kind of relationship with his children. The vast majority of men do willing pay their child support. In fact when Woman do loss custody and ordered to pay support they are more likely to be delinquent then men. In both cases the most used excuse is they feel the the spouse and a new relationship, a new boyfriend or girlfriend are benefiting from the payments and not the kids.

Right now in the US in about 30% of the married families with Kids the woman is making more then the man. That number is growing. Yet many woman in surveys say that would not marry a man who did not make at least as much as she does. Most woman still want the man to be the bread winner. This isn't just a case of male ego. Female ego is also in play here. Many woman still see their own value in being able to win over the best man. In our society that often means the guy who will earn the most money. She gets a better house a better car a better wardrobe etc. The Throphy wives ae not a myth.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hate to say this but men don't really know how to take care of their own children. More often than not, who did all the cleaning, help with all the homework, cooked all the meals, changed all the diapers? Always the women doing the majority of the work. If a man just started doing all of that he would get overwhelmed, impatient, possibly even hurt the kids due to his inability to cope. I've seen overwhelmed fathers that were about to physically hurt their children. Most men don't belong taking care of children full-time. It takes a strong, hard-working, mature and emotionally stable man to do so. For thousands of years, women have been the child-rearers so we are likely more inclined to cope with children 24/7 than men. If men were the primary child-rearers, there would be many more child-related deaths. Men brush over motherhood like it's the easiest thing. HAHA! Yeah right, you try it for one day! I remember an article about how brooke shields said she once felt like tossing her child out the window. The difference with men and women is that men are more likely to follow through on those acts. Some mothers go stir crazy and end up harming their kids so imagine all the deaths there would be if men were in charge. Men can't handle birth and they can't handle children either! You always hear about even some BF murdering their girlfriends kid.. it happens every day.

Most of the brutal crimes in the world including rape, murder etc are done by men. In some countries, it's completely ok for the father to murder his own daughter if she had sex before marriage. How many serial female murderers have their been? What? A couple? Men make up the majority of crime in the world and definitely shouldn't be trusted being the sole provider of children unless they are actually more stable than the mother.

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I've often heard men at work talk about having to "babysit" their kids some night or other when the wife had to be away from home. I've never heard a woman say she was "babysitting" her own kids.

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I hate to say this but men don't really know how to take care of their own children. More often than not, who did all the cleaning, help with all the homework, cooked all the meals, changed all the diapers? Always the women doing the majority of the work. If a man just started doing all of that he would get overwhelmed, impatient, possibly even hurt the kids due to his inability to cope. I've seen overwhelmed fathers that were about to physically hurt their children. Most men don't belong taking care of children full-time. It takes a strong, hard-working, mature and emotionally stable man to do so. For thousands of years, women have been the child-rearers so we are likely more inclined to cope with children 24/7 than men. If men were the primary child-rearers, there would be many more child-related deaths. Men brush over motherhood like it's the easiest thing. HAHA! Yeah right, you try it for one day! I remember an article about how brooke shields said she once felt like tossing her child out the window. The difference with men and women is that men are more likely to follow through on those acts. Some mothers go stir crazy and end up harming their kids so imagine all the deaths there would be if men were in charge. Men can't handle birth and they can't handle children either! You always hear about even some BF murdering their girlfriends kid.. it happens every day.

Most of the brutal crimes in the world including rape, murder etc are done by men. In some countries, it's completely ok for the father to murder his own daughter if she had sex before marriage. How many serial female murderers have their been? What? A couple? Men make up the majority of crime in the world and definitely shouldn't be trusted being the sole provider of children unless they are actually more stable than the mother.

 

stop living in the previous century and try to move on if you can :p

 

if the situation arises , men can do an equally good job as a woman. its just that traditionally , women have always done the caring role and recently the dual role of working and taking care for the kids.... either it was demanded of by them or its an accpeted fact because they are better at it then men ... which doesnt mean men cant do it or suck at it.

 

its just that its a rare phenomenon where men have been asked to do that role so much so you really cant make judgements about men and how they would perform as a single parent ... if you dont know swimming and are thrown in the water , you will splash around to save yourself... if you are handed over a kid without a woman around , survival instincts kick in and you do everything to raise the kid and take care of the both.

 

RP , all i say is women can wear pants , real men wear the skirts.

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SurpriseSurprise

The issue is tradition. I have a non-traditional arrangement or role reversal marrage. She makes more money and when we have kids I will be the one staying home with the kids. The pants and skirt thing is kind of an odd statement. Woman do have more fredom to do both but there is no fasion for men to wear skirts. If this was a way to attract woman maybe but I doubt a woman would find a man attractive if he wore a skirt but a man still finds a woman attractive if she wears pants.

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Speaking as the father of a 20 something daughter, my daughter will be the first to tell anyone that I was the one that raised her after her mother and I divorced. My daughter lived with me... I took care of the cooking and cleaning (I did it all before I was married... never needed a woman for that)... so I suppose that makes me one of the rare few... if we believe the generality that was given above.

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Trialbyfire

Sorry but I'm not interested in men with children who are older than 8 years even though I love kids. Reason being is that I would be concerned about how the children were raised by a previous mother, a mother that either left her children or the courts felt the father was the better care-giver. It would have to be a special kind of guy who is capable of doing this with enough patience and caring to ensure for stable children. Love is not enough.

 

As for Brooke Shields, she went through post-partum depression.

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Lets see skirt wearing men? Scottish and Pacific Islanders are two groups of men that come to mind.

For those Thats ay woman are better at raising Kids, That does not mean all woman are good Mothers there are a lot of sloppy and careless woman out there.

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Trialbyfire

Topper, you've now made me curious. Generally speaking of course, do you believe that there is a large percentage (50%+) or more of men that both want and are patient/capable enough of raising children, as equally well if not better than 50%+ women?

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Other than a woman bearing the children it appears that our "enlightened" western societies have concluded that there really is no difference between men an women...so sad. This conclusion has, in my view, actually enslaved the average woman rather than liberate her to fulfill the unique role(s) she could fulfill. By us concluding that her goal is to do everything a man can do, in the process she has exchanged her unique role of true mothering and guiding the home. The old African proverb, "the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the nation" presents us the unsettling question..."who is actually rocking the cradle?" The answer is: mostly the child care facilities. I honestly don't want to leave that responsibility to them. They'll never consistently be able to love and nurture like my dear wife can.

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SurpriseSurprise
Topper, you've now made me curious. Generally speaking of course, do you believe that there is a large percentage (50%+) or more of men that both want and are patient/capable enough of raising children, as equally well if not better than 50%+ women?

 

I don't know about statistics but I would like to think I can do this with the same level of care and patients that the child needs. I guess you could call this statement sexist. If it is true that men can not raise children then men better keep the woman at home and the men at work.

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1) But many men don't have a problem with giving up 50% (or more) of their time with their own children.

 

2) When men divorce, they are usually only obligated to pay child support and they complain about that - as if those are not their own children!

 

3) A married woman views her salary as secondary and in her mind it's not only acceptable, but usually preferable, if she makes less than her husband. In her own eyes (and his), he would feel less of a man if she makes more money than he does. And since her world revolves around him, it's more important to her to please him than to be completely independent.

 

1) Any REAL man has a problem with this but given the way many of the courts still are, they don't have a choice.

 

2) Where do you get that? I paid child support, which i increased voluntarily and incrementally whenever my salary increased, and continued paying for two years after the court order stipulated to make sure my daughters were well provided for. i never resented it.

 

3) Neither my wife nor me. if she'd made more than I did that wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. I'm confident enough in my manhood that such things don't matter or have an effect on me. My wife's "delightful independence" was a major attraction for me.

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Trialbyfire
I don't know about statistics but I would like to think I can do this with the same level of care and patients that the child needs. I guess you could call this statement sexist. If it is true that men can not raise children then men better keep the woman at home and the men at work.

While I believe that most men have the abilities, do they and will they want to do this?

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SurpriseSurprise
While I believe that most men have the abilities, do they and will they want to do this?

 

True most men do not want to be a househusband. It also should not be a stibmatism if they want take that role on. The woman should not feel she is abandoning her children to a lesser upbringing if her husband takes that role.

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