Husband wants to Pose

[suegirl]

I would like some opinions on something that could potentially cause some conflict in my marriage. A group of my husband's friends have recently learned of a group of older men in Vermont who produced a calender featuring themselves in the nude for the purpose of raising funds for community projects, etc. They got widespread attention including spots on The Today Show, The Tonight Show, etc., and received much fan mail from supporters including The Red Hat Society. They even have a website devoted to their publication. Their photos don't show everything but are done with camera angles and strategically placed props to preserve their modesty (barely). There are, however a few bare behinds visible in some of the photos.

 

This group of friends, all from mid-60's to mid-80's educated men have determined they would like to do a similar calender and have invited my 64 year old husband to join them. They want to do a satire on pro football players as they get older. They have arranged to use a local football facility for their photo shoots. They will feature a group photo of all of them in the shower room (bare backsides toward the camera). They also want to feature a 'team member' each month with plenty of bare skin showing. They have discussed possibly featuring a few of the monthly featured men standing in front of their locker in shoulder pads and a jockstrap. I feel this particular thing is in very bad taste considering the fact that this calender will be available for public viewing including by the younger generations. There have been other negative comments about this, so those type photos may not be included. The shower photo is definitely planned, however.

 

I'm not really comfortable with the thought of my husband appearing in the buff for all my friends, neighbors and community to view. He has not decided to accept or not, considering my thoughts on this matter.

 

My questions are:

 

Am I over-reacting to this in not wanting everyone, especially women I know in our community to see my husband without his clothes?

 

Am I being a kill-joy?

 

Is this whole thing appropriate for a community-centered project?

 

How would other women react to this?

[Mythical]

Hey Sue,

This must be a difficult situation for you.

In my opinion I prob wouldn't mind I would see it more as a joke/ fun thing.

I am only 20 so our opinions can be totally different.

I can see how you would be uncomfortable with this too.

[bluechocolate]

Have you seen the film "Calendar Girls"?

Calendar Girls is about the women of the Rylstone Women's Institute in North Yorkshire. This Women's Group produces a calendar each year based around scenes of the Yorkshire dales. In 1999, one of the ladies husbands became ill with leukemia. He would say that if the ladies planted Sunflowers, he'd make sure he'd get better so he could see them. Unfortunately, he didn't pull through and in order to raise funds for Leukemia research the women decided to make an alternative calendar of themselves in the nude hoping to sell a few hundred copies around their villages. This calendar in fact became a worldwide sensation, out-selling even those of Britney Spears and Cindy Crawford.

Alas, since then it has been done to death & it's doubtful that your husbands calendar will become a runaway international success (though I'm sure you'll be heartened to hear that!).

[quankanne]

I can see both sides of this: he's MY husband, and I don't want other females to get to see his naughtybits ... however, I am quite proud of the fact that he's got nice legs and a great butt for an older man! *if* the shots were were tastefully done – more like suggestions and teasing, rather than full-blown exposure, I could go for it. But that's me – I like the idea of tasteful suggestion when it comes to sexuality, not the in-your-face to the point where it's boring because it's so common crap.

 

talk with him. Find out what all is involved, and give yourself time to get used to the idea that he might actually do this. If you're still uncomfortable with the proposal, be honest and tell him why – if he's a considerate fellow, he'll respect your reasons for not wanting him to go along with it.

 

on the bright side, some of these athletes have done a great job keeping themselves physically fit, and serve as great role models for older men. I had a neighbor in college who was with the Houston Oilers when the club started up back in the 60s and he was still pretty dang fine looking for a 52-year-old former athlete. It was a joy to behold him in shorts! *pant pant*

[riobikini]

re:

 

Suegirl: " Am I over-reacting to this in not wanting everyone, especially women I know in our community to see my husband without his clothes?

 

Am I being a kill-joy?

 

Is this whole thing appropriate for a community-centered project?

 

How would other women react to this?"

 

Cigar, bourbon, mahogany chair -and strategically placed Wallstreet Journal...

 

If it was my "L" posing practically nude -I'd be the *first* in line for a calendar.

 

And buy up armloads for all my friends.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

[IpAncA]

Sure I can see both sides to this too but if your not ok with it then your H should take that into consideration.

 

If there going to be covered up "some what" then seeing his butt shouldn't be a problem.

 

Not sure I want to see someone butt naked who's in their 80s.

 

To be honest this sounds harmless and could be fun.

[suegirl]

I think the women in North Yorkshire started this whole thing, and others such as the group in Vermont followed suit. This isn't a bunch of well-preserved guys from sports of past. In fact, most of them look totally out of place in any sports scenario. They are after laughs only (and sales). As far as how tastefully done it is, I guess that's a matter of opinion. Their won't be any frontal nudity, but the shower photo will be a full head-to-toe shot of all of them facing the wall, twelve bare rear ends directly toward the camera. I can't imagine running into the first woman I know in a store and having to know she saw my husband in his birthday suit, even if it was only a rear view.

 

I forgot to mention in my original post that I had visited with two of my closest friends, conservative ladies whose husbands aren't involved in this and, surprisingly, they both said they didn't see anything wrong with this and wouldn't mind if their husbands wanted to participate. I truly expected them to say 'no way'.

[quankanne]

maybe they're looking at this as a lark, with no real harm done?

[IpAncA]

I forgot to mention in my original post that I had visited with two of my closest friends, conservative ladies whose husbands aren't involved in this and, surprisingly, they both said they didn't see anything wrong with this and wouldn't mind if their husbands wanted to participate. I truly expected them to say 'no way'.

 

I actually wouldn't have a problem with my H doing this. I think it would be funny. Plus I could say that my H is in a calendar. You can even have him sign it.

 

I think you shouldn't worry what others think. Thats there problem not yours.

 

What's your H's opinion on this?

[suegirl]

He's very nervous but excited about it, if that makes sense. One of the guys on the Vermont calender said on their website that he would still turn red just walking into a public place just knowing that so many people had seen him naked. They say they embarrassed themselves for a good cause. My husband admits it would be strange facing people, particularly women who had seen his entire bare backside. He doesn't know what to expect.

[Road Rage]

Suegirl

 

Don`t let your husband do it. People get carried away and do stupid things for charity. The bottom line is that you have reservations about it and that is enough. Your husband should respect that. His bare butt belongs in your bedroom.

[whichwayisup]

Let him do it. You even said he's excited about it!

 

I think if he doesn't do it, he'll regret it and possibly blame you - IF you tell him NO.

 

Let him make the choice and make sure you tell him "honey, I support whatever you decide to do."

 

And, who CARES which women, men, see his naked bits. I'm sure this calendar is going to be tasteful and respectful - Maybe even abit sexy... It's good for his ego, will be fun and who knows??? Maybe one day you'll be asked to pose too. (just trying to get you to laugh.)

[Curmudgeon]

I agree completely.

 

I'm 60 and not in bad shape for my age but the only one who knows that for a fact, and the only one who should know it for a fact, is the LADY I'm married to. She appreciates the fact that I'm a GENTLEMAN and this would not play well with her or with me.

 

I think it's horribly undignified.

 

As always, just one man's opinion!

[suegirl]

Thanks, everyone for all the replies (I've been away for a while and haven't been able to write).

 

My thoughts were similar to curmudgeon's, obviously. Most of the opinions on this board are against him doing it. I was very surpised that my two friends and virtually all of the participants in a similar board on a different website stated they didn't see a problem with it.

 

Maybe there are some newer readers who would like to contribute some thoughts???

[Aloros]

As an artist, I'm likely very biased. I go to life-drawing sessions and draw naked people regularly, with all their naughty bits exposed. I see it as more of an art thing. I've chatted with the models afterwards, with no awkwardness. It's just...naked people. To me it's just not that big of a deal.Now if he were lying spread-eagled with an erection and a lascivious grin, I could see where you might have misgivings. But a bit of bum?To each his/her own, of course, but I'd say let him do it!