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Committment


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Love and marriage do not necessarily go together. There are so many hundreds of answers to your question. There is no general answer and you or a competent psychologist would have to be the one to answer the question in your specific case.

 

Though there could be one or more reasons in your case, many of the common ones are listed here. One or more may apply to you...or none of them at all may be applicable in your case:

 

1. Fear of commitment

 

2. Fear of being engulfed in the psyche of another person

 

3. Fear of abandonment later in the marriage

 

4. Lack of a proper role model for a relationship, not having come from a functional family

 

5. Inability to make a final decision

 

6. Fear of responsibility

 

7. Fear of loss of freedom, identity, having too many demands placed upon him, etc.

 

8. Financial difficulties or fear finances may be insufficient for marriage.

 

9. Fear of parenthood and parental responsibilities

 

10. Fear of disclosing heretofore undisclosed information about self that may cause rejection

 

11. Flames still flickering for an ex lover; hope that the person may again become available

 

12. Subscription to the Better Deal Theory...that someone else may come along after the commitment is made

 

13. Already married

 

14. In older men, fear of being drained of assets in case the marriage fails. Too shy to ask for prenuptual agreement

 

15. Dissatisfaction with one or more aspects of the other person, not enough problems to leave the relationship but too many problems to marry the person

 

16. Excessive debt and an unwillingness to disclose this to partner because of embarassment

 

17. Absolute satisfaction with the level of the relationship right now and fear that marriage could change that

 

18. Fear that partner may change signficantly after marriage, based on what others have related or what he has observed in other people

 

19. Obsessions with pornography, masturbation, or other preoccupations that partner would find out about in a marriage situation

 

20. Just doesn't want to get married right now and no particular reason

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