come and gone Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Hi there. I've been getting to know this new guy for about 1 month and a half. We've been getting along fine; nothing more than just a friendship right now, although I would like for it to progress. Anywho, I had a Halloween party on the weekend and he showed up. He didn't say much cause most of the people there were my friends. So, he left at the end of the party and I haven't heard from him since. I know it's only been three days but he usually calls me every evening. I don't want to call him cause I figure if he wants to see me, he'll call. What could be his problem? Maybe he just doesn't want to see me anymore but that was so fast, I never saw it comming. Should I call him afterall or just wait? Please give me some advice! -Thanx Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 There are dozens of reasons he may not have called, from illness to having his phone shut off to just being busy. He may have met someone he liked at your party...hmmmm. I hope you made him feel comfortable at your party by introducing him to all your friends and making sure he stayed occupied socially. If you did this, good. You'll hear from him, I'm sure. He's probably just giving you a little hard time right now, a challenge...and it seems to be working very well. Link to post Share on other sites
come and gone Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Tony, The thing is, when he came to my party, I was sorta-happy, you know. I'd been drinking for a while. I think I introduced him to my friends. I know he's really shy and I did come over and talk to him but I had 17 other people there to attend to also. I don't think he liked anyone at the party cause most of the girls had their boyfriends there with them. (not like that always matters) Besides, I didn't want to smother him either cause we're not that close yet. Not at all. Yeah, he's doing a nice job of making me crazy but I'll just wait and see what happens. I would have liked to go out with him for Halloween tonight but he didn't call, so that was that. How long do I give him before I give this up? A week, two, three? Please w.b. a.s.a.p. Thank you so much for the reply! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 I don't think it's ever a good idea to just sit around and wait for anybody to call. Just go about your business of life and if he calls he calls and if not, he doesn't. If after a week you don't hear from him, you have absolutely nothing to lose by dropping him a note saying you hope he enjoyed your party, hope he's OK, etc....or you could even call him for that matter. But the purpose of the call would not be to see him again, because he's just way too RUDE for you, the purpose would be to get closure for yourself and to see just why JERKS go to parties and never call again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Yeah, he's doing a nice job of making me crazy but I'll just wait and see what happens. I would have liked to go out with him for Halloween tonight but he didn't call, so that was that. Ugh. Okay, I'm convinced that you could lock Tony and me in a room for a month and when you opened it up, we would still disagree on this point: Making it hard for you!!?? You said yourself he was shy! He walked into a party full of couples, by himself!! That's going to be really rough on anybody who's shy!!!! Call him tomorrow and ask him how he liked the party. -------- There's a difference between working this whole "I'm desperate / just interested / hard to get so you better be thankful when you call" angle (and I grudgingly admit this facet does truly exist) and just throwing away chances waiting by the phone to ring. Call him. Do any people not named Tony think differently, especially if you are of the female persuasion? Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 I don't think it's ever a good idea to just sit around and wait for anybody to call. Just go about your business of life and if he calls he calls and if not, he doesn't. Yes, let's give him all the power. Tony, come on. If after a week you don't hear from him, you have absolutely nothing to lose by dropping him a note I've been told women not only now vote, but they, like .. know how to dial!! saying you hope he enjoyed your party, hope he's OK, etc....or you could even call him for that matter. But the purpose of the call would not be to see him again, because he's just way too RUDE for you, the purpose would be to get closure for yourself and to see just why JERKS go to parties and never call again. Oh yeah, he's a jerk all right. Oh wait, you didn't call either. But you're the GIRL. And good girls do not do that. Still figuring out that voting thing I suppose (less than a week now eh)? We'll never agree on this one, see? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Yes, locked in a room together or left free, I would disagree with you on this one. Giving this guy one week to call gives come and gone more time to assess the measure of his rudeness. If he doesn't call in that amount of time, he's not worth messing with. After that, come and gone has no other good reason for contact except to satisfy her own curiosity and get closure. I don't believe in giving rude people a way out. If she called so soon and put him on the spot, he could easily weazel out by saying he was "just getting ready to call." The chump doesn't deserve a break like that. While we're on the subject of being locked in a room together, do you eat a lot of beans? Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 his rudeness How in the he** was this guy rude??!! Neither person attempted contact with the other. ----------------------- Nope, no beans. But, Kids in the Hall is on comedy central in 3 minutes. The little pleasures of the newly single life ... Anybody else watch it? (Dave Foley is by far the best looking one in drag. Took me almost 10 years to decide.) Tougher choice because I'm straight? Not sure. Oops, 2 minutes. But really, help us out people . . . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 YOU ASK: "How in the he** was this guy rude??!!" In many parts of the world, it is gracious to thank a host for a good time and to express appreciation for being invited to a party. After someone you have known for a while has been so kind, it is rude to attend a function at their home and then not contact them in the circumstances we are now discussing. This may not be rude where you are from, in your opinion, or in the landscape of your upbrining and I respect that. But I consider it rude and I hope you will respect that. Under the circumstances presented here, not contacting this kind and gracious lady at least to once again acknowledge her kindness is rude and lacks class, in my opinion based on my own personal upbringing. If you ever found it in your heart to honor one of my parties with your presence and never called again in your life, I would not consider you to be rude...knowing that in your way of thinking it is not. Yes, I like Kids in the Hall. So we agree on something, although I can't watch it now. I will tape it and watch it tomorrow if you don't object. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 YOU ASK: "How in the he** was this guy rude??!!" In many parts of the world, it is gracious to thank a host for a good time and to express appreciation for being invited to a party. Yes it is. You have absolutely no basis to assume that didn't happen now do you? None. In filling in the details in your own head, you could be slipping from the real situation. After someone you have known for a while has been so kind, it is rude to attend a function at their home and then not contact them in the circumstances we are now discussing. This may not be rude where you are from, in your opinion, or in the landscape of your upbrining and I respect that. But I consider it rude and I hope you will respect that. Thanks for getting my upbrining involved. I think that's really important here. Especially when, she never complained about him being rude (that was completely yours) and in fact he may have already thanked her as he left. But again, it's easier just to assume things and fire off an answer, I realize. Under the circumstances presented here, not contacting this kind and gracious lady at least to once again acknowledge her kindness is rude and lacks class, in my opinion based on my own personal upbringing. So he should thank her multiple times in a number of ways? Is it okay to thank her several times in person or should he also follow up by fax and certified letter as well? (This is a red herring and you know it!) If you ever found it in your heart to honor one of my parties with your presence and never called again in your life, I would not consider you to be rude...knowing that in your way of thinking it is not. 3 days is not a lifetime. And you don't know ^&$#( about my way of thinking pal. Yes, I like Kids in the Hall. So we agree on something, although I can't watch it now. I will tape it and watch it tomorrow if you don't object. No not at all. Night of the cow man! Folks: Isn't it sad when two people who just have to have the last word post on the same board in the wee hours of the morning? Please, won't you help by posting your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 You have got the last word as far as I'm concerned. Your rantings about my posts serve no usedful purpose to anyone. Don't ever expect me to reply to you ever again. For me, clarifying things for you is not a constructive enterprise. Link to post Share on other sites
marigold Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 You have got the last word as far as I'm concerned. Your rantings about my posts serve no usedful purpose to anyone. Don't ever expect me to reply to you ever again. For me, clarifying things for you is not a constructive enterprise. I disagree that the rantings (and your replies) serve no useful purpose...I have found them to be very amusing. I'm not sure if it was all meant in good fun or you're serious, though..... : ) Link to post Share on other sites
come and gone Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Well, all in all, you have suceeded in confusing me more than before. One of you says he should call and the other says I should. Maybe I'm old fashioned or maybe I just expect some respect, but I refuse to call him after he came to MY party. I invited him, entertained him and so forth. Why should it now be up to me to call him and see what's up with him? Maybe he's trying to let me know he's not interessted anymore, but what a poor way to show it. I've decided to wait things out and if he's a no-caller, I can find someone more than willing to want to spend time with me! Yeah baby. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 I've decided to wait things out and if he's a no-caller, I can find someone more than willing to want to spend time with me! You have made an excellent decision. See, you aren't as confused as you thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 Sorry, I just wanted to see how far to the right this message board would go.LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 I think this message board can go on as long as the problems continue. let's see. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 The site administrator is going to get rid of the red border so that should help things a lot. Let's hope not very many problems can go on this far. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Maybe I'm old fashioned or maybe I just expect some respect, but I refuse to call him after he came to MY party. I invited him, entertained him and so forth. Why should it now be up to me to call him and see Well, first step is to put it out of your mind. Because if you're going to wait for him to call, what's left to think about? Some would argue that you're just timid. Like me. (And here's where Tony comes to your defense .. watch) *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Better test it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Better test it. And again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 And again. And yet again. Webmaster: Your border color really, really sux. (IMHO of course.) Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 And yet again. Webmaster: Your border color really, really sux. (IMHO of course.) Hmmmm... Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Hmmmm... And again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Hmmmm... Looks like it just wraps around indefinitely. (It's nice to screw around with somebody else's software for a change.) Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Looks like it just wraps around indefinitely. (It's nice to screw around with somebody else's software for a change.) Uh oh, but now we have that irritating sroll bar at the bottom. Link to post Share on other sites
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