Re: my mother died over eight years ago and i still miss her!

[Jenna]

Janet,

 

I am so sorry about your loss- and I understand. I think it is perfectly natural to still need your mother. Only her body is gone- not your feelings, your love and your need for her- these things will probably always remain. The pain however, will fade in time- but not completely disappear. There are always going to times when you need her- and things will remind you of her- this is how the memories stay alive- so it is a good thing.

 

You can still talk to her- anytime you want to- and she has probably taught you well enough -that you will be able to solve your problems without actually "hearing" her words. In this-she will always remain with you.

 

I am 29 years old- and my grandmother died when I was 11. I still miss her deeply- and I have dreams about her all the time. In my dreams- she is still alive- and in my life as it is today. I love those dreams- and look forward to having them.

 

We all have ways of keeping out memories alive- some positive and some not. Instead of missing your Mom only when you are upset about something- concentrate on remembering her in a positive setting. Go to the places she enjoyed- listen to the music that she liked, visit her friends, look at old pictures. You aren't expected to stop missing her- ever. She is your mother and you will always feel connected with her- remember- "this is a good thing."

 

Jenna

does the pain ever go away? i mean when i get in a fight with my fiance my first instinct is to call my mom, and suddenly i realize i can never ever call her again. i get so frustrated. my mom was my only friend and now i have no one but my kids but are all grown. i get so angry that she is gone, i want and need to talk to her and cry on her shoulder, but she is not available any more. is this sick or unhealthy? does the pain ever go away of missing someone? i just wish one more time i could talk to her, just to tell her i miss her and i need her.

[Tony T]

No, the pain never fully goes away. Luckily, you were able to have your mother around for a very long time. At your age it far easier to cope with her death. My mother died when I was 13 and I'm still dealing with it.

 

You will be fine. Let this be a call to find more close friends and other avenues of support to help you in your times of need.

 

The pain will lessen over time, but you will always be a part of your mother and you can't change that. Pay tribute to her by moving forward and living a good life. That seems to be the way it's supposed to work.

[Deejette]

You can also talk with her soul. That is what I do with my father who passed away. I speak with him in my mind, ask him for answers to my questions.

 

My mother is very ill right now, and quite old, so I am already dreading the day when she will not be around anymore. I still confide my problems in her and she gives me advice.

 

When you really love someone, it will always hurt that they are not around. We wish that life could be free from such pain, but it does connect us to one another, so we can be a comfort to each other, after the loved one is gone.

No, the pain never fully goes away. Luckily, you were able to have your mother around for a very long time. At your age it far easier to cope with her death. My mother died when I was 13 and I'm still dealing with it. You will be fine. Let this be a call to find more close friends and other avenues of support to help you in your times of need. The pain will lessen over time, but you will always be a part of your mother and you can't change that. Pay tribute to her by moving forward and living a good life. That seems to be the way it's supposed to work.