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Stuck between a rock and a hard place?????


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I have a slight problem. My friends have been trying to fix me up lately and one of my close guy friends introduced me to his best friend. He is a real nice guy, and he came over before the holidays, he wants me to call him when I get back on New Years Eve. The problem is that I got along really well with him, and we talked a lot, but I am not physically attracted to him at all. He is not bad looking, its just not really attractive to me. I don't know what kind of future he is planning for himself, but I just don't see anything happening between us. However, he told my friend that he thought things were going great between us. I don't want my friend to be upset with me, because he thought that this would be the perfect match, but I don't know how to handle both sides of the situation. What do I tell the best friend, and what do I tell the guy with out looking like a terrible person?

 

CM

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Hey that's a tough one. That's the biggest problem with getting "fixed up" by people close to you -- they are almost automatically involved with the relationship from the get-go. Can you talk to your close guy friend about it and be honest? He might have some insight into the way to "let him down easy." Definitely don't let the pressure of not wanting to hurt their feelings keep you in something you don't want to be in -- only prolongs the agony. If you handle this well now, who knows, the guy might become a good friend someday...

 

But as far as "what to say" -- you can be honest without being inconsiderate. But expect that the guy is going to be disappointed no matter what. Hurt feelings will result, but you can minimize the hurt by making sure you tell him that you think he's a great person, but you are really interested in just being friends. You may even want to say that the idea of having your close guy friend in the picture makes it a little uncomfortable for you because you don't want to put him in the position of "being in the middle" at some point. I don't know, just a few ideas. Good luck!

I have a slight problem. My friends have been trying to fix me up lately and one of my close guy friends introduced me to his best friend. He is a real nice guy, and he came over before the holidays, he wants me to call him when I get back on New Years Eve. The problem is that I got along really well with him, and we talked a lot, but I am not physically attracted to him at all. He is not bad looking, its just not really attractive to me. I don't know what kind of future he is planning for himself, but I just don't see anything happening between us. However, he told my friend that he thought things were going great between us. I don't want my friend to be upset with me, because he thought that this would be the perfect match, but I don't know how to handle both sides of the situation. What do I tell the best friend, and what do I tell the guy with out looking like a terrible person? CM
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