i'm torn between two

[popsicle]

um, this is kinda weird me doing this, but i don't know what else to do. My partner (whom I love with all my heart and soul) and I ended our relationship lately we had to move apart and it just wouldn't work. Now although I love him, and have no doubt of that, I ended up cheating on him before our relationship ended. Now I am confused as what to do about the person I cheated on him with. I know that its easy to say that I can't love him if I cheated on him, and in a way, you'd be right, but thats just a general opinion and not how I feel in my heart. I'm not sure how I feel on this other person, and won't do anything until I am over my boyfriend and sure of my feelings for this other person. The problem arrises because I feel that the other person (call him B) expects somthing from me now. Although I have explained things to him, I still feel presurised and also guilty as now he is trying not to be near me, which isn't that easy as we work in the same building, and its not that big. What can I do? I'm so confused

[Chris]

Dear Torn,

 

Usually when you feel like you shouldn't do something then you shouldn't do it. You should not feel pressure in a relationship. If you feel pressure, then it is not healthy for everyone involved. I think you want to feel loved. That is why you were involved with a second person. Your second relationship has added to the confusion. You both have become attached. That is normal. But, it doesn't necessary mean you are right for each other. It sounds like you made a mistake and you probably don't want to hurt the second person. You will hurt him by not being honest. It sounds like you need time and space. You need to relay this to him. You may need to move on. Sometimes we make mistakes that we are not always proud of. Don't beat yourself up. We all learn. Hang in there!! You will meet someone that you will love and will love you. All relationships need to grow and they take work.

 

Chris

um, this is kinda weird me doing this, but i don't know what else to do. My partner (whom I love with all my heart and soul) and I ended our relationship lately we had to move apart and it just wouldn't work. Now although I love him, and have no doubt of that, I ended up cheating on him before our relationship ended. Now I am confused as what to do about the person I cheated on him with. I know that its easy to say that I can't love him if I cheated on him, and in a way, you'd be right, but thats just a general opinion and not how I feel in my heart. I'm not sure how I feel on this other person, and won't do anything until I am over my boyfriend and sure of my feelings for this other person. The problem arrises because I feel that the other person (call him B) expects somthing from me now. Although I have explained things to him, I still feel presurised and also guilty as now he is trying not to be near me, which isn't that easy as we work in the same building, and its not that big. What can I do? I'm so confused

[Rick]

Adding to what Chris said, you need to sort out what you feel now, one person at a time. I have been in your position, only I am on the other end. It is a very painful process to go through when you are fighting for someone that is torn between two people. It isn't fair to either of them and it isn't fair to you. The best thing for you to do is to sort your feelings out, make a decision and see what happens. Otherwise you run the risk of losing them both.