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How can one define the "right" age difference in a relationship?


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Reading some of the posts on younger women (minors in most cases) in love with much older men makes me wonder just what age difference is appropriate for a relationship.

 

Obviously in the case of these teen-agers the age difference factor is more serious, but what about a woman in her mid-twenties going out with a man in his fourties for example? I don't see the age difference factor being as relavant when the two parties are both mature adults.

 

(When I was involved with Pavel I was 25 and he was 42 and in many instances I acted more "adult" than he. An earlier boyfriend of mine was ten years older than me, but he acted even older than Pavel.I have NEVER been in a relationship with a man my own age.)

 

I personally think it works much if the woman is younger than the man. I have more of a problem with younger men going out with older women. Do you agree with me? What are your opinions on this issue?

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Reading some of the posts on younger women

(minors in most cases) in love with much older

men makes me wonder just what age difference is

appropriate for a relationship.

 

 

 

It's a great question, and one I've been asking myself

 

 

after reading a lot of the messages here lately. My personal

 

 

situation is, of course, related: I'm a 28-year-old man

 

 

dating an 18-year-old woman. There are special challenges

 

 

to dating someone older or younger, of course, but my

 

 

personal feeling is that as long as both are mature, both

 

 

share the same (or similar) values systems (I'm sure most

 

 

people will agree that our values systems change drastically

 

 

as we get older), and both are comfortable with the

 

 

relationship, age differences aren't a huge issue. This,

 

 

of course, assumes that both people are above the age of

 

 

consent!

 

 

 

For what it's worth, Here's a few of the challenges (none

 

 

very major) that my own relationship has presented. I'd

 

 

love to hear about some obstacles that others have

 

 

encountered, too!

 

 


  •  
     
  • She doesn't understand what it means to end a long-term
     
     
    relationship. When we started dating, I was in the process
     
     
    of ending a 10-year relationship with my then-wife (we had
     
     
    been married for 5 of those years). Ending that relationship
     
     
    was the right thing to do, but my girlfriend didn't
     
     
    understand my feelings at all and wasn't very supportive.
     
     
  • She doesn't have a very good grasp of the value of
     
     
    money, savings, etc. Did any of us before we had to be
     
     
    self-sufficient?
     
     
  • I'm pretty out-of-touch with the styles of dress,
     
     
    speech, music, and dance that are popular with younger
     
     
    people today.
     
     
  • Her parents were initially wary of our age difference,
     
     
    but they've warmed up to me.
     
     

I personally think it works much if the woman

is younger than the man

 

 

 

Why is that? I agree that when there's an age difference

 

 

it's usually a younger woman/older man relationship, but

 

 

why should this be any more stable than the other way

 

 

around? Are women more emotionally mature than men?

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  • 5 weeks later...
Chalandria Salem

I don't se anything wrong with dating older men. My parents are 20 years apart. They're older now, and they were both married once before, but they are happy, and I am happy with my b/f who is 4 years older. Go ahead.

 

have fun,

 

Chal

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