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Help I am so stunned


worm

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My boyfriend of three yrs have had ups and downs but recently we have had a great relationship aside from him being in the service and 11 hours away. I went to see him two times and we talked. He started acting like he really wanted to get me a ring for christmas ..Engagement ring. Even told his family he was thinking about it. Well he found out where he is soon to be stationed which is even farther away and also he will be going out to sea for alittle while. After that he totally started pushing me away , not calling acting like he did not want to be with me. He said he loved me and he did want to marry me but knew it would be hard. And he did not wana start a marriage that way. WEll we talked it out and he said he was sorry for the way he had been treating me. That was three weeks ago . And I have heard nothing from him...He just came home for the holidays yesterday and has not even called me. I love him so much. And based on his actions and the way I felt he was happy while he was with me in the flesh..But now he is acting like I dont exist . like we are over and he does not even care.....What is up ....???? Could he be scared.....He is only 20 so I know he has some growing up to do. But Please anybody that could help me UNDERSTAND this let me know.......

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It sounds like he is confused and just doesn't know how to handle this situation. I'm sure he loves you and I'm sure he wants to marry you. He may be terrified that while he is at his remote duty station or out to sea, you will find somebody else. He may have other fears and concerns as well.

 

The best thing is to have a good discussion with him and try to bring out his fears and reservations and talk them out. Hey, getting married is scary enough for a 20-year-old man without adding all the other issues he has to consider here. Getting married is not like going to an amusement park...there are a lot of heavy duty responsibilities that a man must assume in taking such a major step.

 

Be patient with your guy. He's going through a lot of stuff right now. If his behavior continues without explanation, you will have no choice but to make a decision about the relationship in general. You don't need a guy who won't communicate and one who can't handle crisis with some degree of levelheadedness.

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