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Am I overanalyzing?


dreamgirl

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Hello,

 

This is my first posting, and since everyone seems friendly, I've decided to post. Here goes my situation:

 

I occasionally crease the sheets with a guy I met some time ago. Therefore, the relationship is entirely based on sex. I mean, we'll talk and be genuinely interested in what the other has to say, but ultimatley, the conversation leads to sex. Lately, it's been me that has been doing most of the dialing,(not that he rang me much to begin with). He's made it clear to me, when conversing with him, that he is not a chaser, he can't commit (or doesn't want to anyway), and he's overall, a bit of a bad boy, you know what I'm saying? I'm all right with that.

 

Perhaps it's this bad boy image that has me calling him for some carnal pleasure. Whatever the case is, each and everytime we hooked up, the sex was not good. During our last chat he told me that he thinks he's not a good lover. He says it's this feeling he gets. Well, to be frank, he is right. He's not that great a lover, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I just told him that I think he's charming in his own way, and I told him that he's very attractive and sexy. This is true. He's all that, but a good lover he's not.

 

Is it strange for a guy to admit to his lack skills in the bedroom? What guy would admit to thinking he can't stir a woman? For the times that he came over, I could sense that he was very comfortable with me. This last chat I had with him, he said that he couldn't BELIEVE I wasn't sleeping with anyone on a regular basis, and that he couldn't BELIEVE I didn't have a boyfriend, AND he brought up the time I told him I had a one night stand (I know! I cringe at the thought I even mentioned that to him) He asked if I ever called the one night stand guy, and so I told him no, it was just that, a one night stand, and that he was from out of town. I asked what about you, he said that he's never had the opportunity for a one night stand, and then

 

he said, "how come I wasn't invited to your place, the first time we met..."? etc etc. I just didn't answer that one, because there was the chance that I could have invited him, but I didn't. He asked for my number instead,we went out on a few dates, then had sex on few other dates. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew the sex wasn't good. But, I would call occassionally thinking maybe it would be better that time. Sometimes, I would just call to say hello. I don't know. You'll have to excuse my rambling.

 

Well, I don't currently have a boyfriend, and my sex life, is really not his complete business right? We started talking about the times we were together, and again he said that he thinks he's not a good lover. Anyway, after all that, he suggested phone sex, (only because there was no way of actually physically seeing eachother that night, or so he says) So, we got into it. He asked how I was feeling afterward, and we chatted for a long time after that about things here and there.

 

There was even mention of cooking dinner for eachother some time, and that was about it. I ended the conversation after some time, and he said, "talk to you soon".

 

Somehow, something is telling me not to call him back. Maybe just to chat, but not to push the sex thing. Of course, it doesn't take Einstein to figure that out. If it weren't for the fact that I like him, I wouldn't care. Now, I'm starting to think what HE thinks of me. I guess this is where the 'overanalyzing' comes in.

 

What would guys make of this, if anything?

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A = You say that the relationship is entirely based on sex,

 

B = the sex is not good.

 

Using my ultimate, whiz-bang, and completely error prone mathematical abilities, I come up with:

 

A + B = relationship not good.

 

This guy wants you to help him become a better lover! The next time he mentions his lack of knowledge about how to fold the sheets, ask him if he would like for you to help him with the instructions.

 

Obviously, you guys are comfortable talking about sex. No one I know of wants to hear someone else tell them they are a sorry sheet creaser. My guess is, he senses it, so his comments are his way of opening the door for you to offer some friendly guidance on how to make the bed, the right way!

 

You never know, this guy could possibly be a great catch. He may have been dumped before, partially, because of his lack of skills in the sheet department. If you have the time, energy, patience and desire, you may be able to turn him into a fair prospect. Even if things don't work out between you and him, someday, somewhere, some lady will want to hug your neck for teaching him to be the sheet creaser around.

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