What actually is Date Rape ?

[ssss]

I know the " technical" definition. But please tell whether my encounter was one. Just for the sake of wanting to know the fact as i am still from time to tim emotionally affected by the incidence.

 

Few years back I had an agreement with my ex-bf that he would not actually "get inside". He kept the promise well all alonge. I was still virgin that time. But then suddenly one night, when we were on the bed, before I became aware, he told me that he was already "a bit " inside me and would like to get in further. Out of my expectation, before I could figure out what's happening, he kept saying that he was ready half inside and he proceeded to do what he wanted to. He did "ask" for my "permission", but I must admit that I was not smart enough to know how to react then. I was a bit scared and I just did not have the time to think through and before I was able to respond, he managed to get in. He did not use great force but I was definitely not 100 % willing to allow him in.

 

Was that a date rape or was it not? Just wanna find out. The whole thing was like a dream. Please advise.

[Tony T]

No, it was not date rape.

 

He did not forcibly take your clothes off. He did not forcibly put his penis inside of you. He told you step by step what he was doing and you did not tell him to stop.

 

You have got to be some kind of nuts if you think you can take your clothes off, spread your legs, and let an excited man come at you with an erect penis and have the self-restraint day after day not to do anything more than just put the its tip on your vagina. That's just plain nuts.

 

If anybody raped anybody, it was you doing the raping. You were teasing the hell out of this guy. If you stick your hand in a tiger's cage, you can bet your life it will bit it right off. If you spread your legs for a guy, expect him to go all the way...eventually...unless he's gay.

 

You said you were not 100 percent willing. Well, I would say anything above 51 percent would make it NOT a crime. You also said it was like a dream. If it were rape, it would have been like a nightmare.

 

There are lots more fair ways of exciting or teasing a guy. But spread your legs, babe, and you better expect some business.

 

Most reasonable guys would assume that if a girl put herself in this position more than a few times, she was wanting something more than a good "tip."

[magic]

nm

[sparkle]

I totally agree with you, Tony.

 

Talk about cockteasing the poor guy...

 

Actually, a while back, my guy friend's girlfriend tried to say the same thing about him...that he "date raped" her because she told him he couldn't go 'inside', and once he did, she didn't want to push him away. It's funny that she brought this up a while later, when he broke up with her.

[MegaB]

I don't agree with Tony all the way, especially the way he accuses you of date raping instead of your boyfriend. However, I do agree that it was not a date rape.

 

If you gave him permission (whether out of lack of knowing what was happening) it was still a permission. But I must ask...what did you not know was happening? The sexual act? the fact that you were not suppose to give him permission? If it were dreamy, were you drunk? Did you just want to create a trauma like many people do nowadays by saying that you were date raped? I just hope that's not the case though.

[Tony T]

I'm not a female but but I think if you are raped, while on a date or otherwise, you don't have to go home...turn on your computer...sign onto the Internet...get on a forum...ask people whether or not you were actually raped...and wait for the answer.

 

Rape is a violent act where someone forces sex with another person against their will.

 

Rape is not where a naked woman has her legs wide open and is allowing a man to place his erect penis up against her vagina and then he takes liberty to slowly penetrate while she lays there and thinks about it.

 

I just don't think you have to ask people if you've been raped.

 

When a woman is raped, I think she goes to the nearest phone and calls the police.

 

DUH!!!

[Artlover]

I have to admit, I skipped over this post many times, because I assumed it was another "joke post," but I decided to finally read it. I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier. First of all, not all women who are raped (by a date or a stranger) call the police (if only that were true). Secondly, rape is a violent act and the victim has to have made it CLEAR that they are not in accordance with the act, so I don't think an actual rape occured, in this case.

 

What I do think has happened, and this is FAR more common, is the person posting has not learned how to take control over her sexual life. Some women either go through a phase (particularly when young) where they feel they have to go along sexually with whatever the man they're with wants. Or they never grow out of this and take part in unhealthy sexual situations. This problem is rampant.

 

Perhaps the poster's self esteem is low and she does not know how to avoid sexually compromising situations. She feels victimized, because she knows she really didn't want to have sex with that guy, for whatever reason, and let it happen anyway. She FEELS raped, but she has to take responsibilty for putting herself in that spot. And perhaps she should stop seeing that guy or anyone else until she gets professional help so she an learn to say NO with conviction!

I'm not a female but but I think if you are raped, while on a date or otherwise, you don't have to go home...turn on your computer...sign onto the Internet...get on a forum...ask people whether or not you were actually raped...and wait for the answer. Rape is a violent act where someone forces sex with another person against their will. Rape is not where a naked woman has her legs wide open and is allowing a man to place his erect penis up against her vagina and then he takes liberty to slowly penetrate while she lays there and thinks about it. I just don't think you have to ask people if you've been raped. When a woman is raped, I think she goes to the nearest phone and calls the police. DUH!!!