Jump to content

Multiple Personalities


Sinrus

Recommended Posts

alright, Ive always had a list of personalities, depending on who im around, what im communicating through, if im playing a character, or how I feel. For a long time I was that solitary kid in the back of math class who seemed the loner. And I was fine with that, i still had a lot of friends, but I was never really open. Then one day in G.A.T.E. (some class for those who excell in academics) my teacher talked to me, and she became a really good friend. (This is just a breifing right here) And basically, she made my personality a lot different. Now im that guy who sits around commenting on everything and pissing off some teachers, while humouring others. So with my newer group of friends i've had this hyper attitude, ive never been scared to do just about anything, and I was usally open to anything. But now that me and my friend have become more than friends, ive heard that my personality is different. I know that I am a lot more subtle with my girlfriend, and a lot of times I prefer to just sit back with her while we do whatever. Well, I guess im just not always active and spending enough time with my friends. I see it as them just whining because now theres someone in my life who often ranks above them. My girlfriend wants us to still be together as often was we can, which is basically how it has been, but she also wants me to still have fun with my friends. Well, I have as much time as I can, but my mind is clearly elsewhere. I still trust these guys and their all still good friends, but with my girlfriend being my girlfriend, I guess Im just not fun enough for them. Any help??

Link to post
Share on other sites

...she also wants me to still have fun with my friends. Well, I have as much time as I can, but my mind is clearly elsewhere. I still trust these guys and their all still good friends, but with my girlfriend being my girlfriend, I guess Im just not fun enough for them. Any help??

 

from what i can gather from your post, i think it's highly unlikely that you're "not fun enough for them". what's probably more the case is that sometimes, when a person gets a boyfriend/girlfriend, it's so easy and so natural to want to spend as much time with them as possible. and that means having to divide your time between your boyfriend/girlfriend and your friends.

 

it's also quite easy to unknowingly put yourself in the situation where you see very little of your friends because you want to spend most of your time with your girlfriend - and your friends will 9 times out of 10 really be aware of this, especially if they are all single.

 

it's really quite easy to strike a balance between your girlfriend and your friends. your girlfriend is right - you need to have fun with your friends too. friends are important, just as a girlfriend is. but there needs to be a healthy balance between the two.

 

in regards to your personality being different around your girlfriend, i don't quite understand what you mean by "subtle". do you mean that you don't have this "hyper attitude" around her?

 

but if your friends sense that she "ranks above them", they may be a little offended. a relationship is always on a different level to a friendship, but you don't want to shut your friends out in any way. girlfriends come in and out of your life, but friends will always remain. you don't want to lose that or sour that in any way.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, ok. Before we were in a relationship we were friends for about a year, before we noticed this attraction. and me, her and these friends whom i am referring to are all one big group. Weve always done most of our outings together. their all single, and never been in a relationship. This relationship is my first, if it wasnt noticed, so I have a lot to still discover first hand. Such as this topic. And when I refer to my personality, I mean around her im usually a lot more calm, and kind of like my old self, which kind of is like the real me. All my drawing and every character ive ever played has been the solitary guy.(I play games that involve making characters, such as D&D and Alternity and any free forum game, if you know what im talkign about) My hyper attitude just kinda came along, and I guess its just dying down now, which they dont seem to like. I've still got to try a lot of things to try and satisfy both sides, but im just looking for some help.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You aren't doing anybody any favors by being somebody you aren't. Don't try to put on some false personality for your buddies. It seems you are yourself with your girl. I think if you feel that's the true you, you ought to stay that way and find friends who like you just like that.

 

Putting on some big false self in order to attract friends is outright fraud. So the guy your friends like is a fraud, a misrepresentation and NOT the real you. The guy your girl likes IS the real you. If there's some way you can get your friends to accept you for the person you are, fine. Otherwise, send them on.

 

What Miss Mojo said was very true. Friends are extremely important and they last a lot longer than many relationships. As you get older, you will value friendship even more. Just make sure the friendships you have are based on the real you, honesty, sincerity, etc.

 

It's quite normal to reduce contact with friends during the height of a new relationship. But that doesn't make it good. Your friends feel slighted, even abused. It doesn't make anybody feel good to be rejected by a friend, only to have them return a year later when they get dumped and need a shoulder to cry on.

 

Not very many people are able to master this routine but I hope you try to. I totally agree that romantic relationships do have to take priority but friendships are extremely important as well. Try your best to appropriately accomodate both.

Link to post
Share on other sites

And when I refer to my personality, I mean around her im usually a lot more calm, and kind of like my old self, which kind of is like the real me.

 

it's great that you are able to feel this way around your girlfriend. i've always believed that a boyfriend or girlfriend should bring out the best in you, and most importantly, you should be able to be yourself around them.

 

..but, you should be able to be yourself around your friends. if they don't like the real you, then don't try and be somebody you're not. they're the one's with the problem if they can't accept the way you are. people are forever changing and discovering things about their personalities. i used to be painfully shy as a child, and then around 16 or 17 i just came out of my shell oneday. it's how we evolve as people. and i believe the people i was hanging around made me comfortable enough to just let the real me flow out. and all my friends and family accept me for who i am. if they don't like it, they can lump it.

 

i would definitely suspect that the fact that all your friends are single has something to do with their reaction towards you. they've never been in this situation before, so they don't know that you can't spend every spare second with them. you have other priorities now. but they will find out what it's like when they get involved with people too.

 

you sound very happy with this girl, so just go with it and never be afraid to just be yourself around *anyone*.

 

:)

 

I've still

got to try a lot of things to try and satisfy both sides, but im just looking for some help.
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...