6 year old and her temper tantrums

[almostthere]

My daughter has been difficult from about 1 year old. her terrible twos brought me to my knees in tears shaking my head and just not knowing what else i can do.

 

She is a wonderful little girl. Full of engery and so cute and sweet on her good days (sometimes moments...not every day is either good or bad most of the time its a little of both).

 

Me and my bf have been living together since June of this year. The tantrums have been bad for the past few weeks. She really likes him but i cannot help but think that she was better when he wasnt there. He is great to her and my son. my son told me and him that he treats them like they were his own kids. my daughter asks all the time if he has asked me to marry him yet because she wants us to be married and if i great upset at him (i wont argue in frnt of them...although we have had only one so far) she asks me if we are breaking up. So she really does like him.

 

I consider myself to be a good mom. my kids are my #1 priority. With all the things i have going on in my life they are still put first.

 

last night I had a homework assignment to do for school. I needed the kids to be in bed by 8 pm (normal time anyway) and quiet and good for me. She was playing on the computer and her brother was in the bath. I gave them both a little extra time because i had to run some errands with them at my college and we got home with only a half hour til bed. we already ate but i like for them to be able to play and talk to them a bit.

 

anyway, i said 5 more minutes and that she could make one more picture. Then i said ok bedtime and she got really mad at me. she started coloring another picture and i said no its time for bed it was 830. she scratched my wrist (first time she ever physically did anything to me) and started slapping the computer screen. I turned off the computer and sent her out of my room. she came back in, turned on te computer and i said no and turned it off. she then started slapping the computer screen again and my bf said to her that she needs to calm down. she then looked at him and said i hate you! I got really mad at that and spanked her (which i never do) and sent her to bed.

 

My bf then said he would handle it because he feels she needs to be taught a lesson and she will stop. he said i am too easy on her. so he wouldnt let her out of her room til she apologized to me and stopped crying. i know she was starting to listen to him because she did eventually calm down but i still didnt feel right about it but seeing as i have tried everything but this aproach maybe it would work.

 

eventually an hour and half later the fit was over and they stopped yelling at each other and she came in my room and we (me and my daughter) agreed that she needs a "big" friend to talk to (couselor).

 

How do you handle these situations? how do you handle temper tantrums? positive or negative approach?

 

I am almost at the point of asking my bf to leave because i think she may stop. but then if she didnt i lose the best person not only for me but my kids. i am confused and sad at this point. spanking er is not an option and I cannot ignore her like last night. it broke my heart and i sat there with tears in my eyes doubting myself as a parent and te choices i have made (mainly the divorce...even though there was mental abuse sometimes i think i should have just dealt with it. I have strongly considered it going back just so the kids can be raised by mom and dad).

 

any advice?

[superconductor]

Kids are smart. They can play parents off one another (or, in this case, you and your bf) because they know that they can get their way.

 

It's a power struggle, pure and simple. And when you're involved in a power struggle with your child, you must win.

 

They will cry. They will scream. They will kick, spit, hold their breath until they pass out, bang furniture, and all the rest.

 

DO

NOT

GIVE

IN.

 

As soon as you give in, you're reinforcing the bad behaviour. It's like saying, "No, little Sally/Johnny, you can't do that until you scream at the top of your lungs. Then I'll let you."

 

Also, do not yell. It may take every ounce of self-control you have, but shouting back only escalates the situation.

 

You and your bf need to be on the same page here, too. Otherwise, the child will run the household and shred any sense of peace you have.

 

It's not because they're evil, it's just because they have no conception of other people's needs. And, frankly, they shouldn't, because that only comes with time, maturity and parenting.

 

So, in short:

• When you make a decision, stick to it regardless of how violent or loud the child gets;
  
• Make sure you and your bf are a "united front" in dealing with the behaviour;
  
• Never, ever, under any circumstances, give in.
  

[blind_otter]

I don't know if this is applicable, but with my nephew and nieces, and the children of friends all around this age I have observed the behavior of temper tantrums rather closely and have drawn some general conclusions.

 

It seems to me that temper tantrums occur when the child, for some specific reason, is having difficulty accepting the growth process that is normal for all children. For some reason, perhaps due to instability in the past connected with relationships with parents or caregivers (this is just a theory, mind you) -- they cling very mightily to their current developmental stages, or worse yet, revert. And thus the transition during this period, for some children can be painful.

 

IMO how you deal with their difficulty during transitions from various developmental levels can determine their future success in attaining developmental goals independent of parental guidance, as teens and young adults.

 

Part of this involves maybe exposing your child to growth-oriented activities. Demanding more responsibility from them and enabling them to take charge over certain life activities. Easing them into managing the more adult emotions and situations that they have to deal with more and more as they get older and spend more time independent on one on one adult supervision.

 

For example a friend on mine had struggled with his son for 2 years after his divorce. The boy resisted change, and could be very stubborn. He also, consciously or subconsciously, reverted back to a prior developmental stage and though he was 7, began asking his father to do more things for him, things that he had mastered and began to learn for himself (basic things, like preparing his own glass of juice or using the controls of the DVD player -- things he had obviously mastered already, if he could use a controller on a PS2 or an XBox so well....)

 

Recently the boy was given charge of a youngish dog, amybe 1-2 years old. Not a puppy, because those demand a lot of attention and specific care. He was given specific clear instructions, on feeding and walking, bathing and playing. He began to blossom.

 

The new dimension of someone new living in the house (BF) may present this girl with a challenge that she is unfamiliar with and perhaps having difficulty adjusting to -- which manifests as childish temper tantrums. It has little to do with your BF as a person, and more to do with your daughter learning to accept and adjust to different emotions or situations in her life. But this is something that she will have to learn, so I wouldn't go so far as to suggest your BF move out. This transition will be difficult no matter what the age of your daughter, I would venture to guess.

 

I saw my own niece revert temporarily, when her baby brother was born. Specifically with temper tantrums and potty training, but she of course is only 3.

 

This is just a theory, but I thought I'd throw it out there since I have been observing this behavior in children who face new situations in their home life, at various developmental stages, and I took a leap and drew (perhaps inaccurate) conclusions.

[RecordProducer]

What parents usually do when they have "bad" kids is tolerate their behavior until one point then isolate themselves. Both approaches yield with very bad results. Children first walk all over you then try to make you pay attention to them at whatever cost. It's a vicious circle. Then the parent goes crazy and applies whatever methods of punishment. Then she or he feels guilty and the level of tolerance raises again. And this cycle repeats over and over again.

 

The secret is: persistence and consistence. Five more minutes gives them the challenge of asking for 35 more minutes. Children need discipline and affection. When you cuddle with her and play with her, she probably treats you much better. When she is bad, don't sit on the computer and don't give up. Stand next to her and make her do what you want her to do. When she listens to you finally, reward her with words of appreciation. She must see that NOT listening to you is not an option.

[KLG]

Google "Love and Logic". This is a great way to disapline!

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

See....This is why I'm not having kids...Thanx Almost...You just set it in stone for me....I'm getting my tubes tied tomorrow....

[ddw5195]

My daughter has been difficult from about 1 year old. her terrible twos brought me to my knees in tears shaking my head and just not knowing what else i can do.

 

She is a wonderful little girl. Full of engery and so cute and sweet on her good days (sometimes moments...not every day is either good or bad most of the time its a little of both).

 

Me and my bf have been living together since June of this year. The tantrums have been bad for the past few weeks. She really likes him but i cannot help but think that she was better when he wasnt there. He is great to her and my son. my son told me and him that he treats them like they were his own kids. my daughter asks all the time if he has asked me to marry him yet because she wants us to be married and if i great upset at him (i wont argue in frnt of them...although we have had only one so far) she asks me if we are breaking up. So she really does like him.

 

I consider myself to be a good mom. my kids are my #1 priority. With all the things i have going on in my life they are still put first.

 

last night I had a homework assignment to do for school. I needed the kids to be in bed by 8 pm (normal time anyway) and quiet and good for me. She was playing on the computer and her brother was in the bath. I gave them both a little extra time because i had to run some errands with them at my college and we got home with only a half hour til bed. we already ate but i like for them to be able to play and talk to them a bit.

 

anyway, i said 5 more minutes and that she could make one more picture. Then i said ok bedtime and she got really mad at me. she started coloring another picture and i said no its time for bed it was 830. she scratched my wrist (first time she ever physically did anything to me) and started slapping the computer screen. I turned off the computer and sent her out of my room. she came back in, turned on te computer and i said no and turned it off. she then started slapping the computer screen again and my bf said to her that she needs to calm down. she then looked at him and said i hate you! I got really mad at that and spanked her (which i never do) and sent her to bed.

 

My bf then said he would handle it because he feels she needs to be taught a lesson and she will stop. he said i am too easy on her. so he wouldnt let her out of her room til she apologized to me and stopped crying. i know she was starting to listen to him because she did eventually calm down but i still didnt feel right about it but seeing as i have tried everything but this aproach maybe it would work.

 

eventually an hour and half later the fit was over and they stopped yelling at each other and she came in my room and we (me and my daughter) agreed that she needs a "big" friend to talk to (couselor).

 

How do you handle these situations? how do you handle temper tantrums? positive or negative approach?

 

I am almost at the point of asking my bf to leave because i think she may stop. but then if she didnt i lose the best person not only for me but my kids. i am confused and sad at this point. spanking er is not an option and I cannot ignore her like last night. it broke my heart and i sat there with tears in my eyes doubting myself as a parent and te choices i have made (mainly the divorce...even though there was mental abuse sometimes i think i should have just dealt with it. I have strongly considered it going back just so the kids can be raised by mom and dad).

 

any advice?

 

Alot of people go with the darwin thing no spanks no hitting. I myself go to the good book. THE B.I.B.L.E! in there it tells you to spare the rod you spoil the child. for all of you that will be ready to pounce and say that that is abuse well look back in the day of the 70's and early 80's and even before that. this is where the switch bush was in effect. my grandmother had two of them grow expecally for us kids that she kept on a regular basises. if we were bad we went and pick our own switch out which was so o'my gosh the walk alone was man I did it now. I have a 5 year old daughter that is very,very spoiled. she is loved beyound compare. I just was complemented just the other day on how well she acts and is yes mam and no sir. please and thank you. I do not tolrate throwing fits and she will tell you that. I have a best friend that her son is terrible. he is nine and barley knows how to tie his shoes. why because instead of being a parent she is a friend and argues instead of I said what goes and that is that. you are not in control she has it all and when this occurs she knows nothing is going to happen except be sent to her room. well he** if that is all that is going to happen and I usualy get my way then I would do the same. you are ready to toss the man you love out the door, who loves you, not only you but excepts your children and loves them as well. all because of why? you know maybe it you need to let him have a little control cause that is probly what she needs. to tell you the truth she is not a baby anymore just a young adult that is needing to be molded to and adult to cop with the way we all live now. the old saying goes just like my mom says. you pick and choose your battles. what is ment by that is you can let some go but when it comes to it she needs a good old but whooping and sent to bed!! I finaly told my friend of over 20years that she is hindering her son!! know what she took my advice and he is a changed child. what is funny is she knows what kinda person I am... I love children!! my house is the hang out for all the kids in the neborahood. I tell all the parents that this is my form of disipline. and it depends on what is happining. if they have gone some where with me then 1. I tell them to strighten up. 2. it is the last time I will tell you 3. I spank( and I dont mean beat I will pop there hand or bottom and then I call there parent. I also tell there parents that if there child can not behave at my house because I have certian rules thne they will not come back over as far as my goes she is told one time with the warning and maybe a second but if I had to go past the second time I spank. I have a time out chair to and it works great expecally if placed in the corner hands in the lap and feet on the floor and face to the corner. belive me she is not beat by no means but I have tor that but up a time or two. maybe you shold think of this and use it to good use. there will be times that you child will smart off or roll her eyes or just be plain ugly, like I said pick and choose your battles. not all needs to lead into a spank but it does need to be said that if you are going to do this then I am going to spank. I can take my daughter anywhere and she is good as gold. on the other hand if she goes with her father anywhere she is the biggest mess you would ever saw. she does him like yours does to you. why....cause you have no control and no consaquienc(sorry for the spelling). he has the same effect as go to your room thing. you must be firm but loving and not be a friend but a mother and then a friend. she needs to know her boundries and right now she has none. it will only take a few times and she will get the hint that you mean what you say. hope I helped. p.s I did not mean by no way you are not a good mother I just wanted to give some input on how I raise mine and I think you are a wonderful person already because you are seaking advise on what else you can do. just think in this day and age we have the if you spank theroy blown way out of porportion. back in the day the kids acted like they need to and if they did not you saw the next time by gollie they were well respective. now because you have these people that say spanking is a form of abuse that the kids 60% are drop outs, on drugs or have been to jail bunches of times and the poor teachers teaching these kids are in for the ride of there life. I have a cop friend that works with me and he says that in his day shift he patrols the school and walks the hall to make sure kids are doing what they are supposed to and he said to me which I could not belive my ears that the kids in the high and middle now middle is on 5-8 will walk up on him like they are the threat and he should be scared!!!! he is a cop and in uniform!!!! I tell this if mine tried to do something like that she would not be able to sit down cause her backside would be red!!!!

[ddw5195]

My daughter has been difficult from about 1 year old. her terrible twos brought me to my knees in tears shaking my head and just not knowing what else i can do.

 

She is a wonderful little girl. Full of engery and so cute and sweet on her good days (sometimes moments...not every day is either good or bad most of the time its a little of both).

 

Me and my bf have been living together since June of this year. The tantrums have been bad for the past few weeks. She really likes him but i cannot help but think that she was better when he wasnt there. He is great to her and my son. my son told me and him that he treats them like they were his own kids. my daughter asks all the time if he has asked me to marry him yet because she wants us to be married and if i great upset at him (i wont argue in frnt of them...although we have had only one so far) she asks me if we are breaking up. So she really does like him.

 

I consider myself to be a good mom. my kids are my #1 priority. With all the things i have going on in my life they are still put first.

 

last night I had a homework assignment to do for school. I needed the kids to be in bed by 8 pm (normal time anyway) and quiet and good for me. She was playing on the computer and her brother was in the bath. I gave them both a little extra time because i had to run some errands with them at my college and we got home with only a half hour til bed. we already ate but i like for them to be able to play and talk to them a bit.

 

anyway, i said 5 more minutes and that she could make one more picture. Then i said ok bedtime and she got really mad at me. she started coloring another picture and i said no its time for bed it was 830. she scratched my wrist (first time she ever physically did anything to me) and started slapping the computer screen. I turned off the computer and sent her out of my room. she came back in, turned on te computer and i said no and turned it off. she then started slapping the computer screen again and my bf said to her that she needs to calm down. she then looked at him and said i hate you! I got really mad at that and spanked her (which i never do) and sent her to bed.

 

My bf then said he would handle it because he feels she needs to be taught a lesson and she will stop. he said i am too easy on her. so he wouldnt let her out of her room til she apologized to me and stopped crying. i know she was starting to listen to him because she did eventually calm down but i still didnt feel right about it but seeing as i have tried everything but this aproach maybe it would work.

 

eventually an hour and half later the fit was over and they stopped yelling at each other and she came in my room and we (me and my daughter) agreed that she needs a "big" friend to talk to (couselor).

 

How do you handle these situations? how do you handle temper tantrums? positive or negative approach?

 

I am almost at the point of asking my bf to leave because i think she may stop. but then if she didnt i lose the best person not only for me but my kids. i am confused and sad at this point. spanking er is not an option and I cannot ignore her like last night. it broke my heart and i sat there with tears in my eyes doubting myself as a parent and te choices i have made (mainly the divorce...even though there was mental abuse sometimes i think i should have just dealt with it. I have strongly considered it going back just so the kids can be raised by mom and dad).

 

any advice?

 

Alot of people go with the darwin thing no spanks no hitting. I myself go to the good book. THE B.I.B.L.E! in there it tells you to spare the rod you spoil the child. for all of you that will be ready to pounce and say that that is abuse well look back in the day of the 70's and early 80's and even before that. this is where the switch bush was in effect. my grandmother had two of them grow expecally for us kids that she kept on a regular basises. if we were bad we went and pick our own switch out which was so o'my gosh the walk alone was man I did it now. I have a 5 year old daughter that is very,very spoiled. she is loved beyound compare.I am not saying by no means that I am the best parent and you should only take my advice but justletting you know what AI do. I just was complemented just the other day on how well she acts and is yes mam and no sir. please and thank you. I do not tolrate throwing fits and she will tell you that. I have a best friend that her son is terrible. My daughter is very smart, she was tying her shoes at age two and knew all abc,123,where she lived and her birthday. this is because I worked with her, I made it fun. my friend's son is nine and barley knows how to tie his shoes. she is wisking him off to see a counslor once every two to 4weeks. shhhh, that creates problems, I think why because when they grow to be an adult they say well I guess I am not normal because I was sent off to a doctor all the time. in some cases by all means they need a BIG friend as you call it. have you had her checked fro any add's or adh? my friend has had trouble,why because instead of being a parent she is a friend I am certainly not saying that is the case but my friend argues instead of I said what goes and that is that. you are not in control she has it all and when this occurs she knows nothing is going to happen except be sent to her room. well he** if that is all that is going to happen and I usualy get my way then I would do the same. you are ready to toss the man you love out the door, who loves you, not only you but excepts your children and loves them as well. all because of why? you know maybe it you need to let him have a little control cause that is probly what she needs. to tell you the truth she is not a baby anymore just a young adult that is needing to be molded to and adult to cop with the way we all live now. the old saying goes just like my mom says. you pick and choose your battles. what is ment by that is you can let some go but when it comes to it she needs a good old but whooping and sent to bed!! I finaly told my friend of over 20years that she is hindering her son!! know what she took my advice and he is a changed child. what is funny is she knows what kinda person I am... I love children!! my house is the hang out for all the kids in the neborahood. I tell all the parents that this is my form of disipline. and it depends on what is happining. if they have gone some where with me then 1. I tell them to strighten up. 2. it is the last time I will tell you 3. I spank( and I dont mean beat I will pop there hand or bottom and then I call there parent. I also tell there parents that if there child can not behave at my house because I have certian rules thne they will not come back over as far as my goes she is told one time with the warning and maybe a second but if I had to go past the second time I spank. I have a time out chair to and it works great expecally if placed in the corner hands in the lap and feet on the floor and face to the corner. belive me she is not beat by no means but I have tor that but up a time or two. maybe you shold think of this and use it to good use. there will be times that you child will smart off or roll her eyes or just be plain ugly, like I said pick and choose your battles. not all needs to lead into a spank but it does need to be said that if you are going to do this then I am going to spank. I can take my daughter anywhere and she is good as gold. on the other hand if she goes with her father anywhere she is the biggest mess you would ever saw. she does him like yours does to you. why....cause you have no control and no consaquienc(sorry for the spelling). he has the same effect as go to your room thing. you must be firm but loving and not be a friend but a mother and then a friend. she needs to know her boundries and right now she has none. it will only take a few times and she will get the hint that you mean what you say. hope I helped. p.s I did not mean by no way you are not a good mother I just wanted to give some input on how I raise mine and I think you are a wonderful person already because you are seaking advise on what else you can do. just think in this day and age we have the if you spank theroy blown way out of porportion. back in the day the kids acted like they need to and if they did not you saw the next time by gollie they were well respective. now because you have these people that say spanking is a form of abuse that the kids 60% are drop outs, on drugs or have been to jail bunches of times and the poor teachers teaching these kids are in for the ride of there life. I have a cop friend that works with me and he says that in his day shift he patrols the school and walks the hall to make sure kids are doing what they are supposed to and he said to me which I could not belive my ears that the kids in the high and middle now middle is on 5-8 will walk up on him like they are the threat and he should be scared!!!! he is a cop and in uniform!!!! I tell this if mine tried to do something like that she would not be able to sit down cause her backside would be red!!!!

[superconductor]

I myself go to the good book. THE B.I.B.L.E!

You mean, of course, the same book that says it's ok to sell your daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7)? Or that it's preferable to let a crowd of angry men rape and beat your daughters rather than turn someone out of the house (Genesis 19:6)? That it's perfectly acceptable in God's eyes to send a man off to war so that another may sleep with his wife (Samuel 2, 11:3,4)? Or even to have multiple wives (Samuel 1, 25:43)? Or that it's - astonishingly - acceptable or a girl to get her father blotto and then sleep with him (Genesis 9:20-27)?

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

You mean, of course, the same book that says it's ok to sell your daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7)? Or that it's preferable to let a crowd of angry men rape and beat your daughters rather than turn someone out of the house (Genesis 19:6)? That it's perfectly acceptable in God's eyes to send a man off to war so that another may sleep with his wife (Samuel 2, 11:3,4)? Or even to have multiple wives (Samuel 1, 25:43)? Or that it's - astonishingly - acceptable or a girl to get her father blotto and then sleep with him (Genesis 9:20-27)?

 

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP...I applaud you!!!!! Very well said.

:lmao:

[a4a]

You mean, of course, the same book that says it's ok to sell your daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7)? Or that it's preferable to let a crowd of angry men rape and beat your daughters rather than turn someone out of the house (Genesis 19:6)? That it's perfectly acceptable in God's eyes to send a man off to war so that another may sleep with his wife (Samuel 2, 11:3,4)? Or even to have multiple wives (Samuel 1, 25:43)? Or that it's - astonishingly - acceptable or a girl to get her father blotto and then sleep with him (Genesis 9:20-27)?

 

 

ahhhhh......... how much can you get for a daughter at the slave market these days? I have my eye on a new sofa.... need some cash. :lmao: This would be an interesting thread but not my forte..... incest, slavery, stonings...... ahhhhh.... we need to live by it!

[superconductor]

ahhhhh......... how much can you get for a daughter at the slave market these days? I have my eye on a new sofa...

Maybe you can work out some sort of trade. Save the tax that way.

[ddw5195]

You mean, of course, the same book that says it's ok to sell your daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7)? Or that it's preferable to let a crowd of angry men rape and beat your daughters rather than turn someone out of the house (Genesis 19:6)? That it's perfectly acceptable in God's eyes to send a man off to war so that another may sleep with his wife (Samuel 2, 11:3,4)? Or even to have multiple wives (Samuel 1, 25:43)? Or that it's - astonishingly - acceptable or a girl to get her father blotto and then sleep with him (Genesis 9:20-27)?

 

The same book!!!! maybe you need to read all the chapters not just the one you are quoteing.

[ddw5195]

Kids are smart. They can play parents off one another (or, in this case, you and your bf) because they know that they can get their way.

 

It's a power struggle, pure and simple. And when you're involved in a power struggle with your child, you must win.

 

They will cry. They will scream. They will kick, spit, hold their breath until they pass out, bang furniture, and all the rest.

 

DO

NOT

GIVE

IN.

 

As soon as you give in, you're reinforcing the bad behaviour. It's like saying, "No, little Sally/Johnny, you can't do that until you scream at the top of your lungs. Then I'll let you."

 

Also, do not yell. It may take every ounce of self-control you have, but shouting back only escalates the situation.

 

You and your bf need to be on the same page here, too. Otherwise, the child will run the household and shred any sense of peace you have.

 

It's not because they're evil, it's just because they have no conception of other people's needs. And, frankly, they shouldn't, because that only comes with time, maturity and parenting.

 

So, in short:

• When you make a decision, stick to it regardless of how violent or loud the child gets;
  
• Make sure you and your bf are a "united front" in dealing with the behaviour;
  
• Never, ever, under any circumstances, give in.

sounds to me like DR.superman has his phd and no kids at that!

[ddw5195]

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP...I applaud you!!!!! Very well said.

:lmao:

 

I would say before you clap, Exodus 21:7 as superconductor said about being beat...Read it.... first of all it is THE LAW CONCERNING "SERVANTS" in the passage you are reffering to it is talking how servants work for the master back in the old days which in by the way is old testment. v21: says " if a man sells his daughter to be a MAIDSERVENT(not to be beaten nor raped) here is the important part you left out!!!! SHE SHALL NOT GO OUT AS THE MALESERVENTS DO!! it is inportant you take all the verses in the scripts into text then you will get your answer.

[calalily]

I think that you'll also find that the ancient King who advocated this was also the King that had a child that God had to smite, he turned out so badly.

 

My advice is to ignore them - my son used to throw tantrums for about 45 minutes, but soon stopped when I showed him that I wasn't going to listen (cause it's all about getting your attention, which would be why she is doing it more with another person in the house taking that attention).

 

But an important part is to praise her up when she is good - spend heaps of time letting her lounge on you etc. - so that she gets the message that tantrums are boring for her and you.

[ddw5195]

You mean, of course, the same book that says it's ok to sell your daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7)? Or that it's preferable to let a crowd of angry men rape and beat your daughters rather than turn someone out of the house (Genesis 19:6)? That it's perfectly acceptable in God's eyes to send a man off to war so that another may sleep with his wife (Samuel 2, 11:3,4)? Or even to have multiple wives (Samuel 1, 25:43)? Or that it's - astonishingly - acceptable or a girl to get her father blotto and then sleep with him (Genesis 9:20-27)?

ref:

exodus 21:7 read from verse one to the end expecally 21:7. it says and if a man sells his daughter to be a ___maidservent____she shall NOT go out as the menservents.

Ref:

Genesis 19:6 you really need to read all to have concept of this.

REF:

2 samuel 11:3,4- you need to read where in 2 samuel if you read futher in verse 11:27 it reads and when she was done mourning for her husband, david sent and brought her back to his house and made her his wife and she borfe him a son. BUT THE THING THAT DAVID HAS DONE DISPLEASED THE LORD!!

Thus makes a point to make sure you are reading all to make the text quoteable!!

[superconductor]

Look, ddw, if you have a strong faith, then that's all good.

 

But the moment you - or anyone else, for that matter - uses their faith as some sort of supernatural excuse to beat a child, then it's obviously gone too far.

 

*edited to add*

 

By the way, I have read the entire bible, cover to cover. The examples I chose were in response to the "spare the rod, spoil the child" example, which has been used for generations to beat children senseless.

[RecordProducer]

I think this thread is abundant with good advice!

[ddw5195]

Look, ddw, if you have a strong faith, then that's all good.

 

But the moment you - or anyone else, for that matter - uses their faith as some sort of supernatural excuse to beat a child, then it's obviously gone too far.

 

*edited to add*

 

By the way, I have read the entire bible, cover to cover. The examples I chose were in response to the "spare the rod, spoil the child" example, which has been used for generations to beat children senseless.

]

not for one second do I belive you have read the entire book from cover to cover!! not only that I certainly dont belive that you have read it and understood the verses!!! it has taken years for the scolars just to get half way through it!! you might have called yourself reading it but I dought the whole thing. and as far as beating a child, I said nothing about beating a child!! if you read what I wrote I said a pop on the bottom or a pop on the hand. yes you are right there are people whom beat there children and I belive that is what it is. I certainly belive when I here on the 6 o'clock news about a child being beat or hurt it makes me ill to my stomach and pray that God (as he says in the bible) you that hurts my children big or small will pay!!! second of all you are the one instead giving your intrests to the person asking you decided to quote on mine!! lets just say you have a different opion and that when is all said and done I know where I am going and I probly wont see you there. so next time instead of trying to quote something on someone else give your advice to the person that is asking.

[superconductor]

Hey, believe whatever you want. My self-esteem isn't even remotely connected to whatever you think of me.

 

By the way, your argument may have a little more veracity if you could learn to spell.

 

Anyway, my advice to the OP remains: consistency is the key. Giving in to a child's rantings will only make things worse.

[ddw5195]

Hey, believe whatever you want. My self-esteem isn't even remotely connected to whatever you think of me.

 

By the way, your argument may have a little more veracity if you could learn to spell.

 

Anyway, my advice to the OP remains: consistency is the key. Giving in to a child's rantings will only make things worse.

 

 

Be glad and if spelling is all I have to worry with then hey I am happy!!!

[calalily]

Not for one second do I believe you have read it either. It goes "he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him". "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is from a burlesque poem written by Samuel Butler in the 1600s.

 

Rehoboam, Solomon's son (the man who wrote proverbs wherein this advice resides) was so decadent God had to wipe him from the Earth. Took me 2.5 years to read the Bible - as you can see, I know it well - it doesn't even advocate smacking, but discipline. "Rod" was often a euphemism for discipline and authority.

 

Smacking qualifies as extra attention, so I think it is bad idea. Just keep in mind that while she is having this tantrum, and you're ignoring her, that you're not hurting her, you're helping her - she can't stay this way for the rest of her life (or at least I'm sure you don't want that to happen lol).