responsibility

[twkvfx]

how much responsibitlity do parents have for their children. i know it's an obvious question, but i'm interested in knowing your opinions.

[basscatcher]

how much responsibitlity do parents have for their children. i know it's an obvious question, but i'm interested in knowing your opinions.

 

I believe if you have children you are responsible for them.

It is your responsiblity to love them, care for them, protect them, listen to them, comfort them, guide them, disipline them, educate them, be there for them, inform them.

 

When they reach a certain age typically preteen they are well set into their ways and beliefs. Their morals and values are pretty much already foundationed in them. All one can do is tweak their beliefs, so-to-speak, about what is wrong or right in grown-up, real world situations.

 

I do believe that if a child is on the wrong road, it usually--not always--is from a lack on the parents part of being a parent to the child. Most parents don't know how to be parents anymore; in my opinion.

 

If my son was to break the law and get in trouble, I would be there for him but I won't save him from what punishment he is sentenced to by the law. He broke the law so he has to be responsible for his actions. I didn't raise my son to be a outlaw.. I have pretty much been there for my son through everything. I have taught him, guided him, educated him, loved him, comforted him, given him enough room to grow, and the most important thing I feel I have done with him is I never lied or hide life from him.. He knows my mistakes. He knows my weaknesses as a human. He knows my failures. I explain life issues with him. He is very intellectually relationship smart. He is very intelligent with matters of sociology and pshychology of people. He is independant and logical. He is a no-nonsense kind of kid but has a sense of humor that will make your sides hurt from laughter..

 

He father hasn't really been apart of his life since he was in 2nd grade. He is going to be a junior this year in High School. He knows who his dad is and what he is all about. He prefers to keep minimal contact with him because of his lifestyle choices..(drugs, alcohol, abusive nature).

 

So I do feel parents have full responsiblity for their children until their children have the ability to reason as an adult which is typically around the age of 17-give or take on maturity.

[Trimmer]

I think one of the most important (and most difficult) things that parents have to do is to help and encourage a child to grow and develop so that as the child reaches adulthood, the responsibilities have gradually shifted to the point where the young adult is ready to take them on.

 

Parents take all responsibility for everything a newborn does from eating to changing diapers, transporting from place to place, keeping a baby physically safe, etc... The inherent task of a child growing up is to gradually learn to take on the responsibilities of life at times that are developmentally appropriate. It's a continuous process; in school, you don't learn everything on graduation day - that day is just a ceremony, an arbitrary marker or celibration. In life, you don't suddenly - BAM! - start taking responsibility for everything on your 18th birthday. You build up to that throughout your whole life.

 

A parent's job - and sometimes a very difficult one - is to start out being completely responsible for you, and then to help and guide you as you develop and to gradually loosen the boundaries as you are able to handle more responsibility. Part of this is understanding what is appropriate at a given age or developmental level. You don't expect a 3-month old to feed itself, but you wouldn't expect to have to feed a typical 5 or 6 year old. You wouldn't want a 5 year-old using a stove without constant, direct supervision, but it might be appropriate for a teenager to help cook meals.

 

The idea is, that when you get to that point where you are ready to separate from your family and go be your own person, you've gone through the developmental stages necessary to transition to taking responsibilty for yourself. A kid who has had everything "done for them" until they leave home, will have a sudden and rude awakening upon trying to figure out the real world and take responsibility for themselves. Conversely, a kid who is left relatively unsupported or emotionally abandoned to figure things out for themselves may be equipped to handle the mechanical responsibilities of life - "going through the motions" - but may have missed some developmental steps important to dealing with the emotional realities of adult life.

 

The parents' responsibility is to figure out that balance of providing enough support and assistance and a safe and healthy environment, while loosening the boundaries and allowing the child to gradually assume more personal responsibility as time goes on toward the transition to adulthood.