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Daughter just broke up with her first REAL boyfriend


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So my daughter was dating a boy for about 5 months. At 15 it was a pretty big deal. He is a sweet boy, and brought out a lot of good in my daughter I think.

 

Anyway, they broke up last week, and I think I might be more upset than they are! lol. My daughter is pretty emotionally detached to just about everything, so I am always wondering what she is feeling. I actually talked to both of them while the break up was happening (She was at a friends, and he came over because they were fighting and he wanted his sweater back) So anyway, before they dated, they were very good friends, I mentioned to them, that maybe it was best if they were fighting all the time as a couple that they should at this point try to at least salvage the friendship instead of forcing something until they hate each other. And that's what they did. I'm proud of them for making that decision, I'm still sad for them though. They were so cute together (until they started fighting all the time)

 

I try to remind myself though, when I was 15 and had just broken up with my "first love" my mom was also pretty upset. She really liked my boyfriend. When I started dating the next guy, my mom was not impressed with him, and made comments to me like, "I wish you were still with so and so" I remind myself of this because, that boyfriend that broke up with me at 15, is now in prison for fraud and drugs. The next boyfriend that she wasn't so enthused about, is now my husband. And he has stuck with me through the worst times in our lives.

 

I guess it's just strange to me to be seeing things on the other side now, as the parent. I've got to start letting go little by little and let my daughter decide what is best for her in that department.

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I guess it's just strange to me to be seeing things on the other side now, as the parent. I've got to start letting go little by little and let my daughter decide what is best for her in that department.

 

IMHO, 15 is too young for a one-on-one relationship with a BF. And you're a little too involved in trying to manage the participants. You should be a resource and a chaperone, not a middleman.

 

I'd guess others might feel differently...

 

Mr. Lucky

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RoseyViolet

Way to go Mom, yes, I think you've just processed through what might be the best thing for you moving forward. As much as it hurts to let our kids be hurt, it's so important in their own development and discovery that there is no short cut to it at all.

My only response would be to sit your daughter down and have a chat with her about what you wrote about as far as your personal experience and what you learned about it. She will be able to bond to you and understand there may be a greater lesson to learn through all of this and that mom has her back in it all.

Good job Momma, you're there during a pivotal time in her life giving love and support!

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I think I wrote here on some other thread that I would like to be a Father to daughters,

 

wonder how I would deal with this type of scenario??

 

I dont know, I guess while this is a pretty trivial thing to a random observer it is probably a pretty big deal for a 15 year old,

 

I think that you are there as a support though and she knows that is the main thing, I am sure she will figure out her own way of moving on from it, but if needs be ready to step in and offer support,

 

she probably needs it you know, there will be an hour or something some day when it will all come to a head and just being there to offer a reassuring word , keep it all in perspective,

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Miss Clavel

ya, i was thinking while i was reading your poast, you're a little too involved. wow.

 

she has ten years before she has to worry about who you like and who she will marry.

 

your mom didn't like your now husband in the beginning and she actually told you?

 

anyway, after a break up i "run the drill". which is similar to breaking a bad habit.

 

clean up, get organized, keep busy. don't give in and go backwards. it's over.

 

has she said why they fight? that's what i'm was concerned about while i was reading your poast. does she fight with others normally? is it just him? does he not get along with others?

 

maybe they are fighting because one of them wants to "go all the way"?

 

that's a topic you might want to get involved with.

Edited by Miss Clavel
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