Lostparent Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) Hello all I am new here and in need some advice with my 16 year old son. I am honestly pretty lost with my son, he was recently attacked at school by another student by what was all accounts a gang thing this kid had to attack another stud to get into said gang and he chose my son. And stabbed him multiple times and he spent a few weeks in the hospital and We were lucky to have not lost him. Well he was recovering really well and then his girlfriend broke up with him and he has gone downhill from there. He is gaining a lot of weight sleeping a lot not taking showers I don’t know why his girlfriend broke up with him I do know they still talk a lot and her parents contacted me the other day and just warned me to keep a close eye on my son. I don’t know what to do, I have him in counseling and he is seeing a psychiatrist so I am unsure what else I can do. He is still struggling really badly with pain and nightmares. He won’t talk to me and has no interest in things he used to. His grades are slipping significantly as well. What shoul I do with my son? I don’t know how to make this right or fix this. Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) Hello all I am new here and in need some advice with my 16 year old son. I am honestly pretty lost with my son, he was recently attacked at school by another student by what was all accounts a gang thing this kid had to attack another stud to get into said gang and he chose my son. And stabbed him multiple times and he spent a few weeks in the hospital and We were lucky to have not lost him. Well he was recovering really well and then his girlfriend broke up with him <snip> This is a LOT for any 16 year old to be dealing with. Can you find a therapist or a support group to help you? I'm glad he is seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist because he will have a lot to process through this. Hang in there and keep doing what you are doing and reach out to his doctors/team to see if they can give you any advice. Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 My heart just goes out to your son, you and your family. I wish I had something solid to give you... other than maybe the whole family doing therapy together. Solid support. I barely survived my teenage years. Without going into detail our family ended up moving far away. My parents sold their house in the city and bought some land in the mountains. We pulled together as family and build a new home and new lives. Our family needed the drastic change. Maybe your family just needs a super long vacation. I will keep you all in my prayers. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 You should get him some therapy or a counselor. Ask the school or his doctors for a referral. Most adults couldn't process everything that happened to him. Get him professional help. You will safe his life. these mental injures are as real as the stab wounds but a lot harder to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 I am so sorry. You keep him in therapy. That's the most important thing. Other than that, is there some way to transfer him out of that school? My gosh, he went through too much to be expected to have to live in fear anymore. Get him in a safer environment, even if you have to move. Move out of that mess. But keep him in therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 No advice but I have a15 year old son and I just wanted to say that I think all of that was/is a horrible thing to have to go through for both of you. I’m heartbroken just to hear it. Has the person who did this been jailed or removed as a threat? Is your son at the same school still? Link to post Share on other sites
AmyHershaw Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) Sorry to hear this has happened to you and your son. As someone who has struggled with depression since the age of 17, I understand it is difficult for others to provide support when they aren't qualified psychiatrists, but someone who has depression wants people to be there for them. Unfortunately, I didn't have support from my parents and that worsened the situation. It's a dark, dreadful place to be in life and your son will be wanting someone to reach out to as everyone who suffers with depression wants to find a solution to their problems. It is good he is seeing a professional, although counseling didn't have many benefits for myself, you don't know how helpful it will be till you attempt it. Tell your son you'll stand by him no matter what and if he ever needs someone to talk to, you'll always be there. I wish you and your son all the best. Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostparent Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 I already have him in counseling, And no we haven’t switched him out of the school as he was adamantly against it and begged us not to move him from the schools as he didn’t want to be seen as broken and weak. As far as I know the kid that stabbed my son repeatedly is in juvenile detention charged with attempted murder. The prosecution is pressing hard for my son to testify and to give a victims testimony. It is really hard to sleep at night because at night he will have nightmares and let out these blood curdling screams that you can hear clear across the house. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Your poor son. Just keep on loving him through this. It's the best you can do & he knows you are there for him. It won't be easy but it sounds like you have the pieces in place to help him. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 (edited) <snip> It is really hard to sleep at night because at night he will have nightmares and let out these blood curdling screams that you can hear clear across the house. I think you need to find a therapist that specializes in PTSD. Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostparent Posted January 8, 2019 Author Share Posted January 8, 2019 His dad and I have been debating having him committed because we aren’t totally sure what else to do in all honesty. He has offen expressed himself that he isn’t sure why he didn’t die and that it would have been much easier then fighting and living and that he wishes he has died because what he is going through right now just isn’t worth it and that he has lost everything including his girlfriend and doesn’t know how to keep going. Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 His dad and I have been debating having him committed because we aren’t totally sure what else to do in all honesty. He has offen expressed himself that he isn’t sure why he didn’t die and that it would have been much easier then fighting and living and that he wishes he has died because what he is going through right now just isn’t worth it and that he has lost everything including his girlfriend and doesn’t know how to keep going. An inpatient treatment might be good for him, just make sure you do your research on the facilities and professionals running them. I also want to point out that trauma and depression can't really be cured overnight, it takes a lot of time and effort and there are a lot of steps back just when you feel like you're making progress. You just have to plow through and be there for him as support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostparent Posted January 9, 2019 Author Share Posted January 9, 2019 It isn’t that we are after a quick or instant fix but it just feels like what we are currently doing isn’t enough. Not to mention he came home absolutely wasted and was missing half his cloths and dropped off by some girl we didn’t even recognize I mean this incident just makes us feel like we are losing control of our kid. Our son has never been interested in drinking or drugs and his ex was his first and only girlfriend and he was with her for the better part of two years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostparent Posted January 10, 2019 Author Share Posted January 10, 2019 His ex girlfriend contacted me today she hasn’t done that in ages not since this all happened. She told me he has been sleeping around with a couple women twice his age. This just really infuriated me that these two women are taking advantage of my kid. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 His ex girlfriend contacted me today she hasn’t done that in ages not since this all happened. She told me he has been sleeping around with a couple women twice his age. This just really infuriated me that these two women are taking advantage of my kid. Rightfully so. That's terrible. He may well need inpatient treatment. Be glad he is still a minor, because after 18 there is nothing you can do. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you all. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts