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Old 21st March 2018, 3:50 PM   #16
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I'd be more concerned he's putting these commitments on the table 8 weeks in than I would be worried about his parenting style. To me, that's an alarming timeline...

Mr. Lucky
This. Definitely.
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Old 21st March 2018, 4:15 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky View Post
I'd be more concerned he's putting these commitments on the table 8 weeks in than I would be worried about his parenting style. To me, that's an alarming timeline...

Mr. Lucky



Agreed, and after our first real argument I explained to him that his discussion of that was putting too much pressure on the relationship. To that he confirmed he wasn't thinking imminent near future, more like a year or two down the road. I said make it three and stop bullshirting yourself, basically! lol But ya I never met a guy that came on so strong so fast. Maybe it's just what they do in his Greek culture, who knows? weird for sure
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Old 21st March 2018, 4:16 PM   #18
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This. Definitely.

Yes I am still trying to figure out this weirdness. lol
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Old 21st March 2018, 4:29 PM   #19
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Agreed, and after our first real argument I explained to him that his discussion of that was putting too much pressure on the relationship. To that he confirmed he wasn't thinking imminent near future, more like a year or two down the road. I said make it three and stop bullshirting yourself, basically! lol But ya I never met a guy that came on so strong so fast. Maybe it's just what they do in his Greek culture, who knows? weird for sure
It could be that he's looking for a mother to help raise his children yet doesn't really want that woman to change things or give input on how to raise HIS kids.

The first guy I dated after my divorce was like this. Talked about the future and long term and marriage within weeks of dating. We hadn't even slept together yet and he wanted to put a ring on me and mother his daughter who he had full custody of. Yet when I would suggest things about how to deal with his daughter, he would dismiss me and get pissy.

That's all I needed to see to know I had to run.
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"Stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump.
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Old 21st March 2018, 4:43 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Michelle ma Belle View Post
It could be that he's looking for a mother to help raise his children yet doesn't really want that woman to change things or give input on how to raise HIS kids.

The first guy I dated after my divorce was like this. Talked about the future and long term and marriage within weeks of dating. We hadn't even slept together yet and he wanted to put a ring on me and mother his daughter who he had full custody of. Yet when I would suggest things about how to deal with his daughter, he would dismiss me and get pissy.

That's all I needed to see to know I had to run.


Amazing! How can a guy talk out of both sides of his mouth? Wants the serious commitment, wants you to be a step-parent but doesn't want you to actually have input? so basically they expect you to agree with they way they parent and it's my way or the highway mentality? I don't think so, especially when his kids can be so rude, obnoxious and spoiled.
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Old 24th March 2018, 9:48 PM   #21
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You could change up how you give him the advice. Make a suggestion and make it in such a way that he thinks he is coming up with the idea. For instance, if you are hanging out with him on the weekend, and the kids are still up, say to him how great it would be if the kids were in bed so yall could watch the game in peace or you could give him a back massage (whatever works). Maybe if come at your boyfriend from a different angle, he will be more receptive of your advice. Looks like you may have your hands full if you stay with him but blended families can work. Good luck!
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Old 26th March 2018, 9:43 AM   #22
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You could change up how you give him the advice. Make a suggestion and make it in such a way that he thinks he is coming up with the idea. For instance, if you are hanging out with him on the weekend, and the kids are still up, say to him how great it would be if the kids were in bed so yall could watch the game in peace or you could give him a back massage (whatever works). Maybe if come at your boyfriend from a different angle, he will be more receptive of your advice. Looks like you may have your hands full if you stay with him but blended families can work. Good luck!


Yes, indeed it is all in the delivery. Thank you. Make it his idea and Bingo! I can't just throw myself into this, so taking a step back and easing in.
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