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My Boyfriend's Ex


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Old 14th December 2017, 9:09 AM   #1
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My Boyfriend's Ex

My boyfriend's Ex is generally a great mom, except when she is dating.

For some reason, she wreaks havoc with my boyfriend as they share two boys together. Last week she introduced the boys to her new boyfriend without consulting my bf. They have a six month rule.
Every weekend she goes off an hour a way and spends time with the new guy. we watch the children as she has them over the week.

I''m beginning to form some resentment...with my own bf because he says she rushes into it these things since divorce, last time she wanted to move in with another guy miles away and didn't end well. They have a friendly co-parenting plan with no binding agreements. This one is kind of concerning because her new bf lives over an hour away and we are afraid she'll move the kids to that area. It just seems like everything is rushed and it plays on my bf's emotions as he he's protective of the kids. Once we think we have a "routine" down but now our weekends are shot. She picks them up late on Sunday night. I want to stay out of it because it's frankly not in my realm to "say" anythinig, but I'd like to hear from other people who have co-parented. Can a single mother make it work with a guy with no kids who lives further from the "home base."? There are so many mixed feelings with this scenario. This weekend she made plans to take the boys to a christmas party at a schoolmate's and since she's going out of town, I will take them. It's all playing out on social media so it's hard to ignore. I know I sound erratic and insecure, but I need help managing my feelings. We have been together over a year, and this the big "issue."

Last edited by alex1030; 14th December 2017 at 9:17 AM..
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Old 14th December 2017, 6:29 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alex1030 View Post
My boyfriend's Ex is generally a great mom, except when she is dating.

For some reason, she wreaks havoc with my boyfriend as they share two boys together. Last week she introduced the boys to her new boyfriend without consulting my bf. They have a six month rule.
Every weekend she goes off an hour a way and spends time with the new guy. we watch the children as she has them over the week.

I''m beginning to form some resentment...with my own bf because he says she rushes into it these things since divorce, last time she wanted to move in with another guy miles away and didn't end well. They have a friendly co-parenting plan with no binding agreements. This one is kind of concerning because her new bf lives over an hour away and we are afraid she'll move the kids to that area. It just seems like everything is rushed and it plays on my bf's emotions as he he's protective of the kids. Once we think we have a "routine" down but now our weekends are shot. She picks them up late on Sunday night. I want to stay out of it because it's frankly not in my realm to "say" anythinig, but I'd like to hear from other people who have co-parented. Can a single mother make it work with a guy with no kids who lives further from the "home base."? There are so many mixed feelings with this scenario. This weekend she made plans to take the boys to a christmas party at a schoolmate's and since she's going out of town, I will take them. It's all playing out on social media so it's hard to ignore. I know I sound erratic and insecure, but I need help managing my feelings. We have been together over a year, and this the big "issue."
Terrible idea. They should go to mediation and get a shared parenting plan in writing. I would always advise this, even in cases of the friendliest exes.

As far as introducing a boyfriend too soon - I agree that it's not the best idea, but she well within her right to do this. Look, her love life should be her business. That's why your boyfriend should get a set custody schedule, that way there are no worries about when she's dropping the kids off or whether she's moving to another area, as well as no meddling in each other's love lives and love choices.
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Old 14th December 2017, 6:38 PM   #3
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I already answered in the other thread you started about this. It's not your business and not your problem. If the situation is making your bf unhappy and that is impacting your relationship with him then your problem is with him as he should keep drama with his ex separate from his relationship with you. You can't do anything about what his ex does so there is no sense in getting upset about it.
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Old 14th December 2017, 6:46 PM   #4
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Also I read your previous threads and I'm a little confused about this 6 month rule that your bf and his ex supposedly have. In a prior thread he moved in with you at just 6 months of dating. Im guessing you met his kids and he met yours long before he moved in right? I mean at least I would hope so. It would be terrible if the the first time his kids met you he was already moved in with you. Which makes me think that he didn't abide by any six month rule when it came to his kids meeting you. I think he has double standards where his ex is concerned and I think he is actually jealous when she dates.
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