Marijuana has messed up my son's life

[AlwaysSomething2]

My son, 25yo, is addicted to marijuana. I found out about it almost a year ago and am not sure what to do. I kicked him out of the house after trying to help him for about 3 months and found out he went back to it.

 

Looking back at the incidents in his life prior to me finding out, he has not held a job for more than a year. Always starting off motivated then losing it. He always has a job but has changed jobs so much due to being fired or quitting. He doesn't manage his money well. He lost his car, which I spent thousands getting back for him. He has not been able to pass any classes he takes in college. When I found out, it was because he stole from me. I tried to get him to realize that he needs help but he thinks he can stop the habit himself. He said he's gone 3-6 months several times with out it before in the 7 years he's been doing it so he feels he can do it long term by himself.

 

Well, apparently not, because he just had a down moment in his life where he lost his job and didn't know where he would get the money to pay for his rent for the apartment for the first month's rent and dealt with it by smoking, getting caught and now he is on probation for 9 months.

 

He is between jobs right now since he recently got fired and is waiting to start the new job he got hired to do. He lost his car, and lost his license due to excess toll violations and doesn't know where he will get the money in time to pay for the counseling classes the judge ordered him to take. I told him he will have to figure it out on his own. That I was done helping him financially.

 

This is a first for me and I'm not sure what to do. He has no record but if he doesn't do what he is told to do by the judge, he will be arrested. He is a good person, doesn't hang out but this habit is messing him up badly. I can't stand to see him like that but don't want to enable him either. How much help do you give to your child going through such problem and where/when do you draw the line?

[VeveCakes]

This is not a marijuana issue but a personality issue.

[whichwayisup]

Tell him you love him and will do everything you can for him to get help. He needs drug rehab and counseling badly. He's made some bad decisions and at 25 he needs to grow up, take responsibility and admit he needs help. If he refuses, then sadly you may have to back away and let him hit rock bottom before he realizes the way out is to reach out.

[anika99]

While I haven't smoked pot since I was young, many people I know are regular marijuana users including within my family. I have aunts and uncles who have used pot their whole adult lives and yet live productive healthy lives. I have friends who smoke weed and I have 2 adult sons myself, one who smokes pot and one who does not.

 

Not one of the marijuana users I know steal, get fired, lose their license, neglect to pay their rent/mortgage, etc. I really think your son has deeper issues than marijuana use. The pot smoking may be exacerbating those issues but it's not the cause of his issues. Perhaps it's an ongoing problem with depression. Many people will turn to substance use/abuse in order to mask and soothe painful feelings. Your son really needs counselling and I think getting him there should be the main focus, not the pot use.