Strongerlife Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 My ex is playing the "Disney dad" part - all fun, day trips etc and points out to our boys how much fun he does with them. Now he tells our almost 15 year old he can get a tatto. And not to tell me but I heard him talking on the phone. My son was upset when I said it was crazy, he thinks his dad can just do it and I'll have to accept it. Any advice? I'm the custodial parent, he has them on weekends. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Talk to your son about the permanency of his choice, not that a 15 year old has any concept of the long view. You probably can't do much to stop dad from taking him on his weekend. Unless it's on his face or neck, it's only a tattoo. I don't like them either but there are worse things out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Our state requires Parental consent for underage tatoo markings......(unless you are in a recognized tribe and its apart of your ceremonials). Can you compromise and get a Henna tatoo? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Can you compromise and get a Henna tatoo? Great idea. Be aware that your ex is probably enjoying your angst over this. I'd focus on your son, not on him... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Reputable tattooists won't tattoo an under 18 even with parental consent. At least, that's how it is here. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 The sad truth is, he really can just do it and you just have to accept it. Even if the state asks for parental consent, his father is his parent too so he can just sign for him. If your ex actually wanted to co-parent properly he would have talked to you about it first to make sure you were both on the same page. I'm guessing he's not that guy though since he doesn't appear to be too involved in actually being a parent rather than an adult friend your son gets to hang out with every other weekend. There is nothing you can do about that really either. What you CAN do however is focus on your son. Talk to him about why he wants a tattoo, ask what he's thinking about getting, where does he want it, why does he want it. Look at pictures online with him and help him think it through. Talk to him about what happens down the line if he decides he doesn't like it, etc. Tell him your concerns. Talk to him more like you would an adult because he's almost there. He's only 15, but in 3 years he'll be able to make these decisions without your guidance. That isn't that long away. Show him you are interested in what he wants and that you just want to help him think it through, not just jump in without thinking. It's something he'll need to know how to do as an adult anyway. Now's the time to start loosening the reigns a little and let him know that his thoughts and desires are important to you. I'm not saying you telling him that it's ok just because his father says it's ok. I'm saying that you laying down the law and saying "no" without a discussion is just going to push him to want to do it all the more. So why not make it a discussion where you can show him what it means to be an adult. Make sure you show him pictures of people with face/neck tattoos and talk about how that will affect his career opportunities down the road too. I think it's a great opportunity to connect with your son. You might even be able to convince him to wait until he's 18 to make that decision despite his father telling him he can do it now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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