What would you do?

[todreaminblue]

I have a good relationship with my daughters, we talk about everything....including friends they have who they are concerned about ..they have concerns about a male friend who is experimenting with drugs....they arent really close to this friend anymore...my youngest used to be...but she is an athlete and stays away from the "scene" he has drifted a bit.....but they have friends who are closer who tell them about him....he is the son of one of my friends.....now they have been told he is doing mdma or mda and or eccys and dropping acid ....i dont know exact truth and what is or isnt but with his behavior towards him mum it makes sense with the eccys..i knew about the pot and so does the mum...i dont want to be the gossip but this is a pretty vicious path for this boy to be taking..i am concerned for him...

 

 

and too many kids end up severely entrenched because no one wants involvment ..i feel as a community more involvment is needed to get kids out of that "scene"........i could talk to my bishop or i could talk directly to him..i feel he needs a mans influence...or i would feel more comfortable about confronting him directly.......he isnt listening to his mum....their relationship has broken down and she is currently going to america to her daughters wedding and is stressed as it is....this would break her.....the son is staying behind....and there are no parentals that i know of...... that are aware........

what would you do?...i feel my best line of protection to defend him and the mum is to talk to my bishop....my girls said they coudl kick his ass for me....but consdiering they are two foot shorter than him ...probably wouldnt work....besides ...they are all bluff.....they care too much to kick anyones ass....sort of like me ...

 

 

i just want to set up a line of protection for this family because the mum is special to me i care for her and her family....i like both her boys and her daughter is an angel...i love my friends mum she is a riot........

 

i dont want to affect her daughters up and coming days......and i dont want the mum to stress anymore than she already is........

 

what would you do?

Edited March 3, 2017 by todreaminblue

[MJJean]

How old is this young man?

[todreaminblue]

How old is this young man?

 

 

he is 17 MJjean....deb

[Chilli]

Wonder if the mum knows anyway , probly does.

lf not, think l'd maybe wait until she gets back and everything's settled again, then maybe just let her know you heard he's doing sh@t and thought she might wanna know if not already.

 

He's probably been at it a few yrs already so a few wks hopefully wont make any difference.

[mightycpa]

He's pretty unhappy about something, isn't he?

 

The ecstasy can be a pretty sketchy drug. Strength and purity varies between suppliers and even batches, and even if that's good, it can hurt you. The LSD, if dispensed responsibly, then I hear it's ok, but you don't have a lot of recourse against street dealers, and who knows what the manufacturing process is like. Neither source is likely ISO certified, so there's real risk.

 

Here's what I think you should do.

 

You have to assess how responsible you'll feel if he hurts himself badly by using. If you can live with it, then do nothing. Let him experience what life has to offer and maybe it will all come out ok. If you can live with it, but you'd rather not see that happen, then put the responsibility in the hands of someone like the bishop, someone who people would expect to intervene. But if that happened and you'd feel true remorse because of your inaction, then what choice do you really have? You probably should talk to the boy himself, and if that doesn't work, then the parent(s).

[Telemachus]

If someone is an imminent danger to himself or others, civil authorities can have him committed for observation or treatment. Without a history of violence against others or suicide attempts, there isn't much anyone can "do" except talk with him. He isn't a candidate for involuntary confinement.

 

He's 17 and nearing legal adult age. If he wants to throw his life away, he will. If he's got illegal drugs in the house, his mother will have to consider telling him to move out soon enough.

 

Military service might do him some good. Give his name and contact information to a military recruiter. They're certain to contact him.

[jnel921]

I would discuss this with the mother as a concerned parent and on behalf of your daughters who are concerned as well.

 

Drugs do destroy lives. If she has an opportunity to confront her son and have him agree to make some life changes then this will ultimately improve and save his life.

 

I don't agree with saying nothing.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

You don't want to know what I think about MDMA because I'm going to give you an answer you probably wouldn't want to discuss with a 17yo.

 

1) I don't know much about acid. I've never knowingly taken acid.

 

2) MDMA is dangerous just as any other drug. However, if he REALLY wants to have that experience, it's not like you can stop him completely. It's like telling teenagers to abstain from sex. Sooner or later.....

 

With this in mind, you can minimize the amount of **** your kid can get into by taking it.

 

DISCLAIMER: IT'S ILLEGAL IN THE US. I DO NOT CONDONE SUCH ACTIONS BECAUSE OF SUCH. HOWEVER, DUE TO ITS HISTORY, I UNDERSTAND THAT MAKING IT ILLEGAL WAS MORE OF A SCHEME TO PROFIT THAN "PROTECTING" PEOPLE FROM IT CONSIDERING IT WAS SYNTHESIZED FOR COUNSELING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

Pointers:

-Do it with a small group of people you would trust with your life and know how to have a good time during your experience.

-Don't take too much. Erowid.org to read about experiences and dosages (if that site is even still around, I used it a really long time ago for some information. I couldn't even quote dosages it's been so long, but I think the pills I was introduced to were pressed with roughly 100mg per pill and the rest was the binding agent for pill form.

-Test the purity with a testing kit. Don't be colorblind for this step, lol.

-Drink lots of water if you are dancing / running around / sexing each other up / whatever. Do not over hydrate yourself, do not under hydrate yourself.

 

-The terrible things you heard on the news about MDMA were not true, at least at the magnitude they reported them. The shooting incidents, the overdoses, etc. The person shooting people and eating people's faces was on Meth, not MDMA (which, unfortunately, is the same class, but not the same drug. Chemists, please enlighten them, I am not a smart man) Also, most of the reported overdoses with MDMA were in fact heat strokes due to dancing all night and not drinking water or regulating their body temperature.

 

Personally, I don't think you should allow them to do it. I really don't. I can see it being used in therapy and stuff with a "guided tour" with someone who has experience with it but as with every new experience, there is risk involved, and the risk with MDMA is just as severe. However, we prescribe legal cocaine to CEOs (Don't believe me? Check out the chemical makeup of some of those prescribed drugs...., I can go on and on about it) so if some people want to have a little fun night with a bit of a little Molly (or MDMA), then so be it. Mind as well make it as safe as you can rather than tell them no and have them try to experience themselves and maybe ****ing things up beyond repair.

 

Sometimes I think I should just shut up.

Edited April 10, 2017 by DrReplyInRhymes

[Miss Clavel]

i advise "tough love. i used it on my nephew because, i don't think you can really stop anyone from doing what they want.

 

i told him that if he kept on using his drug of choice he might die. which is fine. his decsion. however, if he ended up only half-dead or disabled in a wheel chair i'd have no choice but to roll his ass out to the curb as soon as i heard the garbage truck coming down the street. i told him that i loved him but that i had a young child to think of and that it was her turn. he'd had his turn.

 

he quit. mostly because his good friend was shot and killed during a drug buy. he went to the funeral and came home hysterical. asking me if i knew that "when you die they put you in hole and cover you with dirt?

 

i told him that yes, i knew. and that i'd like him to consider that how he was feeling at the moment, over the loss of his friend, was excatly how his entire family was gonna feel if we had to shovel dirt over him.

 

good luck

 

p.s. he's clean and sober now, happily married with two young children of his own.

[todreaminblue]

thankyou for your replies ...i appreciate them....i did talk to the mum as soon as i was able to do so in private....i am glad i waited until she came back from overseas to do so ..im glad i told her.....

 

...i am so down on drugs at the moment have written out three posts here ....and i just cant i wish i could ask..........ill never escape and i dont even take drugs.....thanks for your replies...i helped the mum will continue to help her...ill try to help her....i have first or second or third hand experience ...three of my kids are in trouble with ice in particular...and im nearly housebound.actually room bound....fat lot of good im doing.....the only good i can do is pray...im beyond help

..... ..deb

[todreaminblue]

i advise "tough love. i used it on my nephew because, i don't think you can really stop anyone from doing what they want.

 

i told him that if he kept on using his drug of choice he might die. which is fine. his decsion. however, if he ended up only half-dead or disabled in a wheel chair i'd have no choice but to roll his ass out to the curb as soon as i heard the garbage truck coming down the street. i told him that i loved him but that i had a young child to think of and that it was her turn. he'd had his turn.

 

he quit. mostly because his good friend was shot and killed during a drug buy. he went to the funeral and came home hysterical. asking me if i knew that "when you die they put you in hole and cover you with dirt?

 

i told him that yes, i knew. and that i'd like him to consider that how he was feeling at the moment, over the loss of his friend, was excatly how his entire family was gonna feel if we had to shovel dirt over him.

 

good luck

 

p.s. he's clean and sober now, happily married with two young children of his own.

 

 

thos post gave me a little hope.....i know i cant make my kids choices or my kids friends choices......i can just try adn support the mum of the boy i spoke of with what experience i have.....

 

i have to come to that tough love part...and this is where i fail.....thankyou for your post......deb

[todreaminblue]

You don't want to know what I think about MDMA because I'm going to give you an answer you probably wouldn't want to discuss with a 17yo.

 

1) I don't know much about acid. I've never knowingly taken acid.

 

2) MDMA is dangerous just as any other drug. However, if he REALLY wants to have that experience, it's not like you can stop him completely. It's like telling teenagers to abstain from sex. Sooner or later.....

 

With this in mind, you can minimize the amount of **** your kid can get into by taking it.

 

DISCLAIMER: IT'S ILLEGAL IN THE US. I DO NOT CONDONE SUCH ACTIONS BECAUSE OF SUCH. HOWEVER, DUE TO ITS HISTORY, I UNDERSTAND THAT MAKING IT ILLEGAL WAS MORE OF A SCHEME TO PROFIT THAN "PROTECTING" PEOPLE FROM IT CONSIDERING IT WAS SYNTHESIZED FOR COUNSELING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

Pointers:

-Do it with a small group of people you would trust with your life and know how to have a good time during your experience.

-Don't take too much. Erowid.org to read about experiences and dosages (if that site is even still around, I used it a really long time ago for some information. I couldn't even quote dosages it's been so long, but I think the pills I was introduced to were pressed with roughly 100mg per pill and the rest was the binding agent for pill form.

-Test the purity with a testing kit. Don't be colorblind for this step, lol.

-Drink lots of water if you are dancing / running around / sexing each other up / whatever. Do not over hydrate yourself, do not under hydrate yourself.

 

-The terrible things you heard on the news about MDMA were not true, at least at the magnitude they reported them. The shooting incidents, the overdoses, etc. The person shooting people and eating people's faces was on Meth, not MDMA (which, unfortunately, is the same class, but not the same drug. Chemists, please enlighten them, I am not a smart man) Also, most of the reported overdoses with MDMA were in fact heat strokes due to dancing all night and not drinking water or regulating their body temperature.

 

Personally, I don't think you should allow them to do it. I really don't. I can see it being used in therapy and stuff with a "guided tour" with someone who has experience with it but as with every new experience, there is risk involved, and the risk with MDMA is just as severe. However, we prescribe legal cocaine to CEOs (Don't believe me? Check out the chemical makeup of some of those prescribed drugs...., I can go on and on about it) so if some people want to have a little fun night with a bit of a little Molly (or MDMA), then so be it. Mind as well make it as safe as you can rather than tell them no and have them try to experience themselves and maybe ****ing things up beyond repair.

 

Sometimes I think I should just shut up.

 

 

 

i see what you are saying and my ultimate aim is to keep my kids alive long enough for them to grow brains......or get the brains they lost back enough to see what they are doing is no life at all..i try to lead by example.........thats all i am going to say.....my kids are alive...my kdis arent on ecstacy they are ice addicts.....

[Miss Clavel]

i see what you are saying and my ultimate aim is to keep my kids alive long enough for them to grow brains......or get the brains they lost back enough to see what they are doing is no life at all..i try to lead by example.........thats all i am going to say.....my kids are alive...my kdis arent on ecstacy they are ice addicts.....

 

 

amen sister. i used to tell them, "if you're gonna be dumb, don't be stupid".

 

which means, don't overdose, don't neglect your teeth. keep your car insurance and registration up to date, keep your car maintained against getting pulled over for probable cause and getting arrested. keep your voters registration and the phone number of a bail bondsman on you at all times.

 

you can't control them, or anyone but you can try to manage the risk and mitigate the damage to their future.

 

it's very hard to give anything or anyone up to god, and mean it, and not take it back, but there have been times, even tho mine are all clean and sober that i've had to lie in my bed and do just that.

 

they will get sick and tired of wasting their time, energy, health and money on drugs. trust me. if they can come thru it without permanent physical damage and no police record, so much the better.

 

all the best, e.n.

[mikeylo]

You did the right thing by telling the mom.Your conscience is clear now and you can't do more. But since they don't have a good relationship, the talk would'nt go much anywhere.