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11 y/o Son Computer Porn


Wookin Pa Nub

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Wookin Pa Nub

So I check internet history occasionally. I found out that he has been looking at naked girl pictures. It started from a school project on Greek mythology and led to searches of a greek goddess which I guess there's current date photos of girls dressed up as greek goddesses. I brushed it off at first as just being a wrong or curious click from a google search. Saw a few more over the last few days and just yesterday a search for "naked girls". IMO nothing too XXX rated so a little relieved there.

 

 

Is this just boys being boys? I know as a kid me and my friends were on quests to find "nudi mags".

 

 

I am going to change the settings on his phone (I thought they were already restricted) and computer. Do I handle this dad to son or get my wife involved. She will take a much different and much harder stance on this.

 

 

IMO it is just part of growing up as a boy. As long as it is not hardcore mind warping stuff.

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This is a kids being curious thing. Change the setting but have a discussion with him. Kids look for that stuff because they are curious, they have questions, they think others are doing the same, etc. Do you talk openly and frequently about issues of sex, gender, sexuality, internet porn, etc with your son?

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Wookin Pa Nub

We have told both kids not to do this and thought we had set the restrictions on tv, computers, etc. Besides that not so much.

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When I was 11 years old I was walking to school with two girlfriends at the same time. After school I was organizing make out parties. Spin the bottle, 7 minutes in heaven and similar games. My favorite was guys sitting in chairs and the girls walked around and sat on the lap of the nearest guy when the music stopped. Musical sex chairs.

 

Back in my day, working parents left their 10 and old kids alone at home when they were working. I was playing with friends at the age of 5, in city streets without adult supervision. At 7 I was taking trains to Coney Island with my friends. At 11 I was travelling to Times Square to a store that sold Magic supplies. It was a different world back then. No one bothered kids or would even think about it. At 13 I had a 17 years old girlfriend who showed me the facts of life. I was kind of good looking so women tended to want to be with me. So my wife says.

 

So at the age of 11, one of the girls who I did not invite to my parties, told my teacher. He had me stay after school and grilled me. I told him the truth as I did not see anything wrong with it. We were not having real sex, just kissing and light fondling. He called my mother who called in a priest. The priest could not convince me that what I was doing was wrong and ended up telling me that I could be excommunicated if I did not stop what I was doing. I told him that I did not care and he left in a huff.

 

I never did stop and thus was born my reputation of a pervert and bad boy. Surprisingly, instead of keeping the girls away, it drew them to me like flies to honey. I think it is normal what your son is doing but in my day, there was just nude pictures and what we actually did in real life. The danger now is that porn has all sorts of stuff that only porn stars do and they give of a very bad impression of women. I look at internet forums where young boys/adults, expect girls to be like they are in porn and end up lonely. It can also set your expectations high.

 

It may be good to talk to your son and explain that what he sees are actors who are doing many things that most people do not do in real life. Let him know that women are not like he sees in porn. They do not like to be used as sex objects and submissive to men. Sort of make him understand by comparing it to the violence he sees on TV. On TV he may see the hero fighting 10 guys at a time and beat them all but in real life that would never happen. It is the same way with porn. It is unreal and just for entertainment purposes. My folks never had a sex talk to me and I was 13 years old before I stopped thinking that babies came out of women's butts. :)

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I am going to change the settings on his phone (I thought they were already restricted) and computer. Do I handle this dad to son or get my wife involved. She will take a much different and much harder stance on this.

 

 

IMO it is just part of growing up as a boy. As long as it is not hardcore mind warping stuff.

 

I agree that is it is part of growing up. I've got a boy and a girl myself.

 

You should tell your wife. It's wrong to keep it from her because you think that she'll overreact. It erodes trust. I practice what I preach, as I handle touchy things with my teenage daughter all the time, but I always keep H informed about what happened and how I handled it. He says something like, "She's lucky it was you and not me."

 

Also, keep some books on the shelf about sexuality and including nudity....for him to find on his own. You choose the books (there are a lot of educational books that would work, and art photography for nudity), and he'll have access to some of the information he craves.

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amaysngrace

My son did it when he was eight or nine I think. GirlsGoneWild!

 

Definitely a case of boys being boys.

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It's important for parents to create an environment in which kids develop healthy attitudes about sex.

 

Telling him to not do it may be part of the solution, but I don't think he should be made to feel his curiosity is dirty, wrong or something to hide. What better resource can a boy have for learning about sex than his father? Keep that door open and make sure he feels comfortable enough to come to you for any information he needs in that area.

 

Porn is prevalent in our society and easily accessible from many sources. Controlling access is almost impossible. Controlling the messages is much more important - how a child feels about themselves and the opposite sex. Messages that may affect the quality of his relationships in the future. That's what he needs his father for right now.

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We have told both kids not to do this and thought we had set the restrictions on tv, computers, etc. Besides that not so much.

 

Need to have that conversation NOW. It should have started years ago. Just changing the setting on the phone is limiting (not eliminating) access on HIS phone. He will still has access through friends, other computers and ways to get around on his own phone. There are special apps that the child restrictions can't affect. Are you aware of all of them? Kids know more about technology than you do. The best weapon you have is education. Answer your son's questions. Explain to him that it's normal to be curious but also porn and women in erotica are not the norm. Women don't usually look like that, etc.

 

Here's a good book to start with:

 

It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) Paperback – August 8, 2014

by Robie H. Harris

 

If all you do is try to block the settings, you are just creating a situation where he will look to go around you instead of ask YOU questions. He will google the answer, ask his friends or just look at porn on his friend's device.

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