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gf kid cries excessively


LifeNomad

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am I wrong for telling her she has him spoiled? which I did and she got really upset...

 

 

basically my gf has 2 kids, one 4 and one is 2ish I think

 

 

the younger one cries waaaay too much. for example

 

 

-If we buy a box of pizza he will cry because although he barely finishes 1 slice he wants to have at least 3-4 or more slices stacked on his plate. He actually will refuse to eat if he doesn't have all the food he wants on his plate.

 

 

-if he sees something at the store will cry and yell all through the store. As soon as we walk out of the store like a switch he stops crying like nothing happened. I mean as soon as you take first step out of store boom he is quiet as a mouse.

 

 

-if gf goes even to the bathroom or kitchen he starts crying and crying.

 

 

-if me and gf are on bed watching tv or something he will cry and cry because he wants to be in between us or right next to her somehow. he will also make faces at me when shes not looking. When I call him out he cries more.

 

 

just some examples there but this kid can literally cry for hours all day even if no tears come out he will keep at it.

 

 

I told my gf she lets him do what he wants, he is spoiled, and she gets mad saying "I don't like to see him cry, I don't see him often, he only has me etc.

 

 

anyways am I wrong for telling her? I mean I put up with it long enough but im getting fed up with it. uugggghhh

 

 

#divorceeproblems

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Doesn't matter if you're wrong.

 

She won't listen to you and she puts the kids first.

 

You're going to leave her if she doesnt dump you first because of your attitude towards her kids.

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Two year olds can be tools, I know. However, it seems like your GF is not showing her kids proper boundaries & is parenting out of guilt. Already, you are getting a feel for the type of parent she is & you aren't liking it. You aren't the bio-dad so there is not much you can do. You might be better off walking away from this relationship.

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Many 2 year olds go through a phase of behaving that way.

 

It's not unusual, and it's not something that's unique to that child.

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LMAO at you calling out a 2yr old for making faces at you.

 

 

They're not called the terrible twos for nothing. A lot of 2yr olds act just like that kid and it's usually a phase they come out of at around 3 or 4.

 

 

If his behavior truly is excessive it could be that his emotional needs are being shortchanged somewhere. Your gf said she doesn't see him often. That right there might be some of the problem. Why doesn't she see him often? Where is he when she is not with him? He might need some more one on one time with his mom. If she has limited time with him then when she's with him she shouldn't be making him compete with you for her attention.

 

 

I don't think he's spoiled. I think he's either being a normal two year old or something is lacking in his life.

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Lol! Obviously you've never been a parent. That's a 2 year old for you! Reasons My Son Is Crying

 

Honestly dude, you really have zero standing to offer parenting advice. And your attitude stinks towards the more precious things in your GF's life. You saying anything about her kids is like you saying something directly about her. Or worse - because an adult can take a punch. But anything that is perceived as inventive criticism directed at her child - ya that is bad joojoo there man.

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eeh it doesn't really matter I guess maybe im just looking for an excuse to split idk

 

 

she says she wants me to be there and to discipline them them which I do and when shes not there they behave good they listen don't cry at all, but then shes there and they are totally differnet.

 

 

anyways well all I have experience is in my own kids whom aren't perfect but sure as heck didn't act the way my gfs do when they were 2.

 

 

anyways my concern or question or comment or whatever was if it was right of me to bring it up, which I did, I let it aaaaalll out, I know I hurt her feelings but i know she knows its true. i mean she sometimes puts on headphones and pretends she doesn't hear her kid crying when hes clearly crying right in front of her. The kid don't even cry he just wails with no tears.

 

 

uggh

 

 

#divorcessproblems

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Lol! Obviously you've never been a parent. That's a 2 year old for you! Reasons My Son Is Crying

 

Honestly dude, you really have zero standing to offer parenting advice. And your attitude stinks towards the more precious things in your GF's life. You saying anything about her kids is like you saying something directly about her. Or worse - because an adult can take a punch. But anything that is perceived as inventive criticism directed at her child - ya that is bad joojoo there man.

 

 

I have 3 kids and they didn't act that way at all. of course they cried for stuff but not excessive like this.

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she says she wants me to be there and to discipline them them which I do and when shes not there they behave good they listen don't cry at all, but then shes there and they are totally differnet.

 

 

I'm sorry but your gf sounds lazy. Why doesn't she discipline her own kids?

This is why men don't like to date single mothers.

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LMAO at you calling out a 2yr old for making faces at you.

 

 

the kid throws the finger too. he might be 3 idk but before she met me she HAD to buy them any toy they wanted just to go to the store and so they wouldn't cry. Going to grocery store paying $20 each kid each time for a toy they want adds up.

 

 

since she met me we go and ive told her just to let them cry even though its embarrassing they need to know crying wont get them what they want.

 

 

Anyways im being flamed so maybe this isn't even the right forum to post this idk

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I'm sorry but your gf sounds lazy. Why doesn't she discipline her own kids?

This is why men don't like to date single mothers.

 

 

you might be right this is my first time dating a single mother. still have a few more tests to run though

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ok so for those who might think im over reacting another story, we literally had to put those plastic locks over the doors(her idea) because they gone into the fridge several times when she was taking a nap and I was at work, took EVERYTHING out and threw it all over the floor, sprayed ketchup on the kitchen floor, opened and dumped as many containers or whatever as possible on the floor, a half tub of protein powder, and they did it several times actually. Had to buy additional plastic locks for fridge too.

 

 

walls painted, handprints, nailpolish all over the floor, literally cant have markers or pens within reach

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eeh it doesn't really matter I guess maybe im just looking for an excuse to split idk

 

 

she says she wants me to be there and to discipline them them which I do and when shes not there they behave good they listen don't cry at all, but then shes there and they are totally differnet.

 

 

anyways well all I have experience is in my own kids whom aren't perfect but sure as heck didn't act the way my gfs do when they were 2.

 

 

anyways my concern or question or comment or whatever was if it was right of me to bring it up, which I did, I let it aaaaalll out, I know I hurt her feelings but i know she knows its true. i mean she sometimes puts on headphones and pretends she doesn't hear her kid crying when hes clearly crying right in front of her. The kid don't even cry he just wails with no tears.

 

 

uggh

 

 

#divorcessproblems

 

 

Ugh..this makes me cringe. You should not be disciplining her kids or taking care of them. I was a single mom to 2 boys and I NEVER let my boyfriend discipline my kids. Nor did any of my boyfriends ever babysit for me. In that regard my parenting life and my dating life were kept completely separate. If I needed a babysitter it never even occurred to me to get my bf to do it. To me it's just downright disdainful for a mother to leave her kids with whomever her current bf is. Just yuck. Your gf needs to some parenting classes and she needs to make proper childcare arrangements.

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ok so for those who might think im over reacting another story, we literally had to put those plastic locks over the doors(her idea) because they gone into the fridge several times when she was taking a nap and I was at work, took EVERYTHING out and threw it all over the floor, sprayed ketchup on the kitchen floor, opened and dumped as many containers or whatever as possible on the floor, a half tub of protein powder, and they did it several times actually. Had to buy additional plastic locks for fridge too.

 

 

walls painted, handprints, nailpolish all over the floor, literally cant have markers or pens within reach

 

A 4 year old and 2 year old need supervision. Period.

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ok so for those who might think im over reacting another story, we literally had to put those plastic locks over the doors(her idea) because they gone into the fridge several times when she was taking a nap and I was at work, took EVERYTHING out and threw it all over the floor, sprayed ketchup on the kitchen floor, opened and dumped as many containers or whatever as possible on the floor, a half tub of protein powder, and they did it several times actually. Had to buy additional plastic locks for fridge too.

 

 

walls painted, handprints, nailpolish all over the floor, literally cant have markers or pens within reach

 

Wait til they wipe their feces all over the wall.

 

You won't be able to pack fast enough.

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Ugh..this makes me cringe. You should not be disciplining her kids or taking care of them. I was a single mom to 2 boys and I NEVER let my boyfriend discipline my kids. Nor did any of my boyfriends ever babysit for me. In that regard my parenting life and my dating life were kept completely separate. If I needed a babysitter it never even occurred to me to get my bf to do it. To me it's just downright disdainful for a mother to leave her kids with whomever her current bf is. Just yuck. Your gf needs to some parenting classes and she needs to make proper childcare arrangements.

 

thank you, makes me feel a bit better, ive told her I don't mind helping her out every now and then but only as a last resort and if she absolutely cant find anybody else

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I don't have children nor did I ever date men having children. However, from looking around me, I see that other than how one decides to spend their money, parenting style is the second biggest source of fighting. I do see this at the core of compatibility.

 

Irrelevant of right and wrong, it seems that this situation is a bit much, to you. As this situation is touching rather sensitive chords, you might want to re-evaluate the relationship in itself...

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I have 3 kids and they didn't act that way at all. of course they cried for stuff but not excessive like this.

 

Whoa. Then I retract my comments completely. Carry on! ;)

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ok so for those who might think im over reacting another story, we literally had to put those plastic locks over the doors(her idea) because they gone into the fridge several times when she was taking a nap and I was at work, took EVERYTHING out and threw it all over the floor, sprayed ketchup on the kitchen floor, opened and dumped as many containers or whatever as possible on the floor, a half tub of protein powder, and they did it several times actually. Had to buy additional plastic locks for fridge too.

 

 

walls painted, handprints, nailpolish all over the floor, literally cant have markers or pens within reach

 

 

Seriously? You blame the kids for this? Mommy has no business sleeping while her kids are awake. They are too little to supervise themselves. Good lord the poor kid is only 2. Of course he's going to get into mischief if he's left alone. Your GF's is just asking for something horrible to happen to her kids. Leaving her kids with whoever her current bf is, leaving them unsupervised while she sleeps. They're going to end up getting molested or abused by one of her bf's or they are going to bring physical harm to themselves when they are left alone.

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Parenting styles are as unique as the child themselves.

 

two years upon this earth and suddenly they are to be robotic and heal at every command. Structure and consistency in positive ways will alleviate some of this childs behavior. Labeling him is not the answer.

 

Be a positive force not a negative critical being, even when they are fussing, STOP, slow the adult world down, and get on their level. A Brief look of concern and care can do wonders. I think while your observation of his behavior may be honest, your opinion and the way you conveyed it was not supportive.

 

My grand daughter is going thru the terrible two's and its a great time for her to gain autonomy. Her NO's! Are just as important to her as yours are. A Balance needs set though on social manners and behavior in public, it takes patience and time to re-direct them....

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You babysit and discipline the kids and don't even know the age of the youngest one? In no way should you be doing that.

 

It sounds as if your patience is thin. I hope you don't punish them harshly. They are being typical (young) kids. It sounds like the baby needs more of his mom's attention and has a need for attachment for her. He is craving what he isn't getting, and that is time with Mommy (especially one on one time; he shouldn't have to compete for her attention).

 

The best thing you can do for these kids is show patience, kindness, and love, to them and their Mom. With this age, distracting them and changing activities is way more effective than discipline. Do supervised activities, show them attention and love. Show them life can be fun. When the baby is crying, scoop him up and swing him around and make him laugh. Get his favorite toy and act goofy. Take him outside and let him run, paint, play cars, etc. Enjoy him...don't treat him like he's a burden.

 

Basically, be the adult that you needed when you were a kid! Good luck to you, and if you really can't handle the crying, you need to step away from this relationship and find someone without kids. Don't be the boyfriend who steals the Mommy away from her babies.

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They don't call it "The Terrible Two's" for nothing.....:)

 

If you can't be more supportive of her children then it might be time to put this aside, parenting is hard enough as it is but even harder if the SO isn't on the same page and is creating issues by not having any understanding.

 

The other thing besides The Terrible Two's is the children have also recently gone thru a divorce too, they have lost their parental unit and Dad is no longer in the Mothers picture, many times children act out from the anger of the divorce and the fact that they as children take responsibility for their parents not being together on their own shoulders.

 

If you stick to this relationship you might want to get some self help books on Step Parenting to help you along, what the children are actually feeling isn't what you perceive and you might need some help with the new dynamic.

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I have 3 kids and they didn't act that way at all. of course they cried for stuff but not excessive like this.

 

During their early growing years were their parents married or were you divorced ?

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Lois_Griffin
I think he's either being a normal two year old or something is lacking in his life.

There's something lacking, alright. Parental supervision from his mother.

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Lois_Griffin
since she met me we go and ive told her just to let them cry even though its embarrassing they need to know crying wont get them what they want.

Oh goodie. You guys are the ones to blame when I'm trying to shop but can't even think straight because your kid is screaming and throwing a fit and disrupting the entire store. So attractive.

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