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BF suddenly resistant to blending families.


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Hi all,

 

I am new here, so I hope this is where this post goes.

 

I need advice about my relationship and where to go from here. My BF and I are both divorced with kids. We both have three kids - although his oldest is technically an adult. We are deeply in love and committed to each other and have been together for almost 3 years. We spend time together with our children and our kids do well with each other.

 

We have talked at length about moving in together and marriage down the road. However, I am at the point where I would like us to actually make the plans and figure out how we are going to blend our families. We both share custody with our exes so there will be a lot to figure out and I want to move forward with this next step.

 

The problem is my BF - as much as he talks about our future and what we need to do, he doesn't act. He recently told me that moving in together doesn't feel right in his gut right now. He is really enjoying the time he has with his children and feels that sharing himself with me and my kids completely is slighting his children. He has a lot of guilt about not being with them as much as he used to be (when married to their mom).

 

I am hurt and upset. I am no fool, blending families will not be easy but I love him and his kids and know that all the hard work will be worth it. What's a girl to do? He can't give me any sort of time frame for us to move forward. Either I do it his way or I walk away.

 

Any words of wisdom here?

 

Thanks!

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